Where Can I Get the Support I Need?

You can draw support from many sources. Here are some of the most important:

If you have questions or worries about your cancer treatment, talk with members of your health care team.

Many kinds of counselors can help you express, understand, and cope with the emotions cancer treatment can cause. Depending on your preferences and needs, you might want to talk with a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, sex therapist, or member of the clergy.

Talking with friends or family members can help you feel a lot better. Often, they can comfort and reassure you in ways that no one else can. You may find, though, that you may have to make the first communication move.

Many people do not understand cancer and may withdraw from you because they're afraid of your illness. Others may worry that they will upset you by saying "the wrong thing."

You can help relieve these fears by talking openly with others about your illness, your treatment, your needs, and your feelings, and you can correct mistaken ideas. You can also let people know that there's no single "right" thing to say. Once people know they can talk with you honestly, they may be more willing and able to open up.

The National Cancer Institute's booklet Taking Time offers useful advice to help cancer patients and their families and friends communicate with one another.

Support groups are made up of people who are going through the same kinds of experiences as you. Many people with cancer find they can share thoughts and feelings with group members more easily than with anyone else. Support groups also can serve as an important source of practical information about living with cancer.

You can also find support in one-to-one programs that match you with a person similar to you in age, gender, type of cancer, and so forth. You might talk with this person on the phone or arrange visits.

How Can I Make My Daily Life Easier?

Here are some tips to help you during chemotherapy:

• Try to keep your treatment goals in mind. This will help you keep a positive attitude on days when the going gets rough.
• Remember that eating well is very important. Your body needs food to rebuild tissues and regain strength.
• Learn as much as you want to know about your disease and its treatment. This can lessen your fear of the unknown and increase your feeling of control.
• Keep a journal or diary while you're in treatment. A record of your activities and thoughts can help you understand the feelings you have as you go through treatment and highlight questions you need to ask your doctor or nurse. You also can use your journal to record side effects. This will help you discuss them with your doctor and nurse. You can also write down the steps you take to cope with side effects and how well those steps work. That way, you'll know which methods worked best for you in case you have the same side effects again.
• Don't be too hard on yourself. You may not have as much energy as usual, so try to get as much rest as you can, let the "small stuff" slide, and only do the things that are most important to you.
• Try new hobbies and learn new skills. Exercise if you can and if your doctor approves. Using your body can make you feel better about yourself, help you get rid of tension or anger, and build your appetite.

How Can I Relieve Stress and Relax?

There are a number of ways to cope with stress and help you relax. Try some of these methods to find the ones that work best for you. You may want to check with your doctor before using these techniques, especially if you have lung problems.

Lie down in a quiet room. Take a slow, deep breath. As you breathe in, tense a particular muscle or group of muscles. For example, clench your teeth or stiffen your arms or legs. Keep your muscles tense for a second or two while holding your breath. Then breathe out, release the tension, and let your body relax completely. Repeat the process with another muscle or muscle group.

A variation of this technique, called "progressive relaxation" works its way up your body. Beginning with the toes of one foot and working upward, progressively tense and relax all the muscles of one leg. Next, do the same with the other leg. Work your way up your body, tensing and relaxing each of the muscle groups in your body, including those in your neck and face. Remember to hold your breath while briefly tensing your muscles and to breathe out when releasing the tension.

Get into a comfortable position and relax all your muscles. Close your eyes or focus on a distant object if you prefer to keep them open. Breathe in and out slowly and comfortably through your nose. If you like, keep the rhythm steady by saying to yourself, "In, one two; Out, one two." Feel yourself relax and go limp each time you breathe out. You can continue this technique for just a few seconds or for up to 10 minutes.

With training in biofeedback you can control body functions such as heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension. A machine will sense and alert you when your body shows signs of tension. The machine will also give you feedback when you relax your body. Eventually, you will be able to control your relaxation responses without having to depend on feedback from the machine. Your doctor or nurse can refer you to someone trained in teaching biofeedback.

Close your eyes, breathe slowly, and feel yourself relax. Imagine a ball of healing energy--perhaps a white light forming somewhere in your body. When you see the ball of energy, slowly breathe in and blow the ball to any part of the body where you feel pain, tension or discomfort, such as nausea. When you breathe out, picture the air moving the ball away from your body, taking with it any painful or uncomfortable feelings. (Be sure to breathe naturally; don't blow.) Continue to picture the ball moving toward you and away from you each time you breathe in and out. You may see the ball getting bigger and bigger as it takes away more and more tension and discomfort.

Visualization is similar to imagery. With visualization you create an inner picture that represents your fight against cancer. You might visualize rockets blasting away the cancer cells in your body or knights in armor battling the cells.

Hypnosis puts you in a trance-like state that can help reduce discomfort and anxiety. You can be hypnotized by a qualified person, or you can learn how to hypnotize yourself. If you are interested in learning more, ask your doctor or nurse to refer you to someone trained in the technique.

Distract yourself from your worries or discomforts by watching TV, listening to the radio, reading, going to the movies, or working with your hands by doing needlework or puzzles, building models, or painting. You may be surprised how comfortably the time passes.