Like fire to the coal

You turn me to ashes

Smoldering in the heat

My self esteem crashes

And I burn

In the end of all this

I hope to be changed

Into something better

I am so deranged

And I burn

Still I知 walking

Avoid you talking

Give me your pain

I値l give you the same

I have the power

In my hour

And you値l be left with nothing

Like you always wanted

You see me break down crying

Pushed me so hard, so fast

When you loved me, you were lying

And I burn

I believed your selfish words

I hung onto your heart

I thought that things were good

My love will have to part

From you

Still I知 walking

To avoid you talking

Give me your shame

I値l return the same

I have the power

In this hour

And you値l be left with nothing

Again.

January 23, 2001...4:34am

I am tortured by endless nightmares of frightening capacities. I cannot sleep or change my thought patterns out of this ... void ... of love. thoughts of fear dance frightfully in my head for the end is coming soon for someone. help me .. sleep again .. dream of better days ... times when sorrow finds me no more and joy brings me to my knees. take me on, lift me up, fill my soul with the thought of you looking into my eyes. my rambling is getting tiresome even to me... please move onward into the void. ... save me