You may be out of your league when...
You may be out of your league when...
Your paddling buddies ask "Just curious, but where did you put your car keys?", or "Do you want me to hold your keys?"
You feel the irresistible urge to tighten your helmet strap when looking at the upcoming section of the river.
You see your buddies playing rock-paper-scissors for your gear.
Spectators nudge one-another when they see the terrible line that you're taking.
Spectators applaud when you finally drag your waterlogged body onto the shore.
Your mouth is too dry to spit above the upcoming hole, or
You can spit to show that you're not afraid, but then you need to take a drink to re-moisten your mouth.
You feel the urge to take a last minute dash to the port-a-potty.
You find yourself thinking of all the things that you still want to do in life.
You begin thinking about lemmings jumping off a cliff together.
You write "Please Turn Over" on the bottom of your kayak.
Your drysuit becomes a wetsuit, and you're still upright...
You gotta take a piss three times in a row - BEFORE running the rapid.
You meet shaky, white-faced survivors returning from the bank scout trail.
Another party's trip leader points you out and proclaims "See that guy, that's exactly what I was talking about---- don't......."
Other boaters start humming the theme from Deliverance as you make your move!
People begin to recognize you by the bottom or your boat.
(for guys) Your external organs become internal.
You forget to paddle....just sit there with your paddle over your head and slobber.
You take a bad line above a hole and the locals begin cheering as you drop in.
For Christmas, your wife gives herself a 1 year $500,000 term policy on your life... w/ double indemnity for accidental drowning.
Everyone gets their cameras out when they see you getting into your boat.
You pull into an eddy and you see one of your mentors who looks at you and says "holy cow, what are you doing here?".
People pull out throw bags, cell phones and First Aid kits as you head for the rapids...
Your insurance company cancels you..
More than 2 people with video cameras follow you..
Your kids inquire about your will before you leave on the trip.
People at work ask you to show where you put your data.
You get a letter from your boats manufacturer asking you to switch brands.
Timex puts a watch on your helmet and a camera on your bow, pointed at your head. (Takes a licking...)
Your doctor recommends a weekly MRI of your brain.
You get sponsorship from medical supply companies.
Your HMO declares Chapter 11; blames you.
In the middle of your run, you realize that *everybody* in your group has set up safety...
In order to avoid paddling with you, your friends resort to staging their own abduction.
Your bow passes over the horizon line and you still can't see the landing pad.
You paddle like a bit player in a Star Trek landing party.
The water has way too much air to paddle through but slightly too much water to breathe.
