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| Rugby | A game played with 30 men (2 are hookers) going both ways for 80min. | Referee | A blind idiot that keeps persecuting me for no good reason | Good pass | Any pass to me | Hands of stone | What a teammate has when he drops my perfect pass | Bad pass | Any pass that I drop, or a pass that is to another teammate while I was open | Off-side | The referee's mistaken call for my enthusiasm | Free kick | What a ref calls if he's not sure he should call a penalty or a scrum | Scrums | Referees way of getting back at the forwards | Lineout | A way for tall lanky player to feel useful | Aggressive play | When I rake or stomp on an opposing player | Dirty play | When an opposing player rakes or stomps on me | Decisive play | I punch an opposing player, 'cause I know he was going to punch me! | Team player | Teammate the pounds the opposing player that just raked me | Brut | Thug on the other team that wants to punch my face in | Kick for goal | When your team can't get close enough to score a try | Run the penalty | When your kicker can't make the kick, even from 10m in front of the uprights | Good kick | Any kick I get off | Bad kick | When a teammate kicks the ball instead of passing to me, so I can kick | Good reception | When I catch the ball | Bad reception | When I drop the ball, BUT always because the sun got in my eyes! | Defensive player | A player with hands of stone | Defensive team | Team that scores less than five points and always win | Offensive player | A player who can't tackle | Offensive team | Team that scores more than thirty points, but always win by one or two | Team player | A player who will always pass me the ball | Ball hog | Teammate that goes for the try instead of passing to me | Backs | Players who don't like physical contact | Forwards | Player that have no hands, or are as slow as a slug | Good sport | A player that doesn't slit tires of the other team because they won | |
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The club President, Coach, prop & wing are taking a charter flight to the National Finals when the engines cut out. The pilot enters the passenger compartment and says, "We're going down. There's only four parachutes! Since I'm the pilot I'm taking one" and then jumps from the plane. The coach says, "Without me the team won't have a chance, so I'm taking one" and he jumps out. The winger says, "I'm the fastest & smartest man on the field and without me the team can't win a game, so I'm taking one" and he jumps out of the plane. The President looks at the prop and says, "You take the last parachute. The team needs you more than it needs me". The prop responds, "We both can take a parachute. The smartest man on the field just jumped out of the plane with my kit bag on his back".
