What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland "Left", so they turned around and went home.
What do SMART Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, Daddy...Doughnut seeds.
Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why do Blondes always smile during lighting storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
How do you change a Blonde's mind?
Blow in her ear.
What's the difference between a Blonde and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
What's the difference between Blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say "Stop".
Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone.
What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes to long to retrain them.
A Blonde and a brunette were walking in the park when the brunette said, "Oh look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where Where?"
How do you drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman than a regular
one?
You have to hollow out the head.
How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Did you hear about the Blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
What happen to the Blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.
What did the Blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
How do you make a Blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Why did the Blonde climb a chain link fence ?
To see what was on the other side.
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, You're next!"
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow stepped on her.
How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for French fries.
Why do blondes have more fun?
They are easier to amuse.
What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.
What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?
The back of her head.
What do you call 4 blondes in a Volkswagen?
Far-from-thinkin.'
Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
They keep breaking them with the hammer.
What is it when a blonde blows into another blondes ear?
Data transfer.
Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
Why did the blonde return her new scarf?
It was too tight.
What is the difference between an intelligent blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot's been sighted.
What is the biggest advantage to marrying a blonde?
You get to park in the Handicapped Zone.
What have you got when you line up ten blondes ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brown?
Artificial Intelligence.
