JUSTIN: *gives BlueC a stern look* That is what you said last time.
BLUEC: Are you referring to the whole kidnapping fiasco? It's nothing like that I promise. Besides, I apologized for that. I thought we were cool. Ahhh... here we are. *Opens door to dark room and shoves Justin in* GO TO WORK BOYS! *shuts door and locks it*
JUSTIN: What? What's this?
*Lance turns on big interrigation light, pointing it directly in Justin's face. Joey, Lance, Chris and JC all were seated around a wood table.*
JC: Sit please. We have a lot to discuss.
JUSTIN: *sits* Whatever happened I'm innocent. I SWEAR I didn't order that porn. It was Joey.
LANCE: This has nothing to do with porn Justin. Rest assured.
JUSTIN: *sighs* Good. What is this about then?
CHRIS: Where were you on the night of September 1st?
JUSTIN: HUH?
CHRIS: Nothing *laughs* I've just always wanted to do that.
JC: *shakes head* This is about Britney.
JUSTIN: Spears?
LANCE: *sarcastically* No Britney Smith. Of course Britney Spears you dumb ass.
CHRIS: We are just here to help you Justin. This whole situation has potential to ruin us all. And don't think we're not a little pissed about it. I mean... I'm 27. How many more years can I actually sing and dance without needing oxygen? I'm not letting your rampant hormones ruin that.
JUSTIN: You all feel this way?
*Everyone nods*
JUSTIN: Joey? C'mon man you can't agree with this.
JOEY: *shrugs* I mean I'm all for hittin' it baby one more time. Haha. Did you get it?
*JC rolls eyes*
JOEY: Actually I think, actually. I think that maybe actually the guys are right.
LANCE: It's not that we don't like Britney...
CHRIS: Speak for yourself! *mumbles* The dumb bitch.
LANCE: It's just that you've lied about it long enough. And if I know you, you plan on lying about it some more. Am I right?
*Justin nods*
JC: AND YET YOU GET CAUGHT AT A HOTEL WITH HER! *breaths* And she missed a signing thanks to you... not like I care about HER but... c'mon. You need to start thinking with the right head, man. I know you're 18. But Britney? Britney? You've called her your 'little sister' before. I mean I understand both of you are from the south and all but that's just wrong.
JUSTIN: So y'all decide to pull me into a dark, cold room and what?
CHRIS: We're calling it skank withdrawals. You need to get her out of your system. Your time here will be complete with an STD pep talk from Joey. He is actually going to put the free pamphlets from the clinic to use.
LANCE: Let's start simple. Have you and Britney ever actually held a conversation that wasn't dominated by the words like or ummm...?
JUSTIN: *thinks briefly* No.
JC: That would be mainly because that's the extent of her highly uneducated vocabulary. Sometimes she'll stray to 'cool' but even that is a stretch.
LANCE: I mean, man, I understand she has the new boobs and all... but have you ever actually... listened to her?
JUSTIN: No. Where are you going with this?
CHRIS: She's an airhead Justin. Earth to you. Have you ever noticed that when she moves her head you hear a rattling noise? It's the pebble that is her brain hitting off the interior of her skull. That isn't a normal thing. No matter how much her mother tells you it is... it isn't normal. We're here to help you. Cause we care for you. Cause we want to be 'N SYNC for at least another year and this is seriously jeopardizing that.
JUSTIN: How?
JC: Because no one actually likes her anymore. She's like... an annoying fly that just keeps on coming back and buzzing in your ear. Do you get it now Justin?
JUSTIN: Maybe...
LANCE: *pulls out stereo system* We're going to force you to listen to her. ALL DAY! Songs, interviews... EVERYTHING.
JUSTIN: Bring it on.
*After 3 hours. JC, Chris, Joey and Lance are all about to rip the hair out of their heads.*
CHRIS: I need a break. *stops tape* Any change?
JUSTIN: *sings* You drive me cra-zay I just can't sleep...
JC: Oh my god. This isn't working.
LANCE: DAMN! That just means we suffered through 3 hours of Britney Spears for NOTHING! I think I'm gonna shoot myself.
CHRIS: Bring out the video. *slides in tape* I didn't want to do this. But I must...
*Tape begins to play. Full of attractive girls on college campuses all over the country. Justin sits up in his chair. Watching the tape intently.* JC: You realize you can basically have any of them if you wanted. But you are with Britney! Does that make sense?
JOEY: NO IT DOES NOT!
JC: *shakes head* It was a rhetorical question. One that didn't need an answer.
JOEY: Ohhhh... sorry.
CHRIS: Do you think we can let you back out into the world? You are 18, Justin. Don't be with her, you have your pick. Live that up.
JUSTIN: *shrugs* Maybe you're right...
JC: I have something that will seal the deal. Or as I like to call it... the last resort. *pulls picture out of his back pocket* This, Justin, would be Britney without the help of a make up artist, hair person, stylist AND air-brushing.
JUSTIN: OH MY GOD! *covers mouth* Can I be excused I'm gonna be sick.
LANCE: Moments like there are exactly why you have to date girls who are naturally cute. So this doesn't come as such a shock! BLUEC YOU CAN OPEN THE DOOR NOW! I THINK WE'VE SAVED HIM!
