Author’s Notes: Oooo, are you guys wondering what Shotoku meant? ^_^ Remember to review, and I don’t own CCS!
Hold Me Through ?Chapter 6 / Identity
Sakura walked over to the fourteen-year-old and stared at him. He didn’t stare back. His eyes were averted to the side to avoid their questioning gazes. She tried to put her hands on his shoulders. “What do you mean…you killed hers?? He didn’t answer. Instead, he took a step back so that she couldn’t get a hold. Syaoran and Eriol stood by her side, wearing the same expressions, wanting the same answers. The answers he wouldn’t give. Sakura waited for a reply, but none came. Shotoku turned around and proceeded to walk away. Unfortunately, Syaoran stepped up in front of him, blocking his escape route. He repeated Sakura’s question.
“What did you mean?? Shotoku stared up into Syaoran’s face, eyes narrowed.
“None of your business, Cardcaptor. Stay in your own affairs.?He snapped out. Syaoran was taken back by this, but he didn’t budge. “Get out of my way, I’m going to catch her.? Still, no movement. This time, the boy’s voice was filled with suppressed anger. “Didn’t you hear me, get out of my way!? Syaoran shook his head.
“Not until you tell us first.?
“Why do you want to know??Shotoku asked, suddenly starting to glow with the colored aura they had seen earlier. Syaoran wanted to back away, but he wouldn’t obey himself, not until some answers were given, this whole jumble was getting confusing.
“We need answers, this is all too confusing. It includes us somehow, but we don’t have a clue.?Eriol explained. His two companions nodded in agreement. Shotoku clenched his fists.
“Believe me, you don’t want to know!?he yelled. His fingers dug into his palm. “Let me go now, or I’ll hurt you too, Cardcaptor!? Syaoran didn’t budge. He saw that Sakura was slowly advancing towards Shotoku with her staff in hand, ready to attack if he got out of hand, but she wondered. Why was he acting so violently all of a sudden, what secret did he hide from them? Why were they included in this labyrinth of answers, answers they didn’t know? Shotoku was the only one who would give the answers, and even that he wouldn’t do willingly. He said he was there to help them. And they needed the answers. The metal wire appeared around him again, its end looking deadly, facing Syaoran, only millimeters away from his face. Shotoku muttered his command again through his clenched teeth. “Get out of my way.?
Sakura didn’t wait. Syaoran wouldn’t budge; she knew how stubborn he was. She raised her staff in the air and brought it down with all the force she could manage at that second. But instead of feeling the staff hit something, and hearing Shotoku fall to the ground when she closed her eyes, nothing happened. But she heard gasps. Opening her eyes, she caught her breath at what she saw. Syaoran and Eriol’s eyes were wide open as well. The staff…it hit no flesh. Instead, it was sticking through the middle of him. He had no injury, it seemed to go right through. Shotoku turned around and faced her, looking down, and then back at her. He slowly stepped back, forgetting that Syaoran was there. The staff slid out of his stomach, but he went right into Syaoran. Syaoran’s eyes widened, and they both stood there for a while. Unbidden thoughts entered his mind…thoughts that he never knew.
A flash of light covered all he could see, until it died down. Syaoran was looking at an old shack, a long time ago. On the table was a stack of…Clow cards, and in the corner stood a nine-year-old boy, with dark green hair and a blue band around his forehead. His arms were stretched out, as if he was protecting something. Behind him, stood a four-year-old girl, with light green hair. She was huddling in the corner in her brother’s shadow. Tears ran down her cheek and her hand was covering her cheek. She was looking up at the boy...who looked extremely like Shotoku, worried. A towering man, much taller than either of them stood with his back turned to Syaoran. He had long black hair and was pointing at the boy. “You will do my wish, Shotoku.? The little boy’s eyes narrowed as he screamed back.
“I will not, not if your wish is to turn us into monsters! I won’t let Kirin become a monster!?
“I have fed you and given you a home, this is what you do to repay me??
“I have worked for all of that! What give you permission to do this to us??Shotoku screamed back. Then, all became light again.
The light faded. And Syaoran found himself staring down at the table in the same old room where Shotoku and the little girl had been earlier. The stack of Clow Cards were still there, but two other cards lay on the table, scattered. Syaoran noticed that the man was sitting across the table. There were tears in his eyes. Syaoran gasped and took a step back. The man…he looked exactly like…Clow Reed! Clow Reed stood up, pushing the chair away. Then, he walked out of the room, closing the door lightly. Syaoran stared down at the table again. His hands ventured out and he turned both cards over simultaneously. His eyes widened.
The Treachery. The Loyalty. And the Treachery was right there in front of his eyes. So she was a Clow Card. Then, the idea dawned on him. That little girl…huddling in the corner…she had the same light green hair, pulled and tied by two ribbons. The same torn dress and tears streaming down her face. And the Loyalty…it had a picture of a boy on it…a boy who looked…who was Shotoku! They were cards! Shotoku was a card! The man came back, and Syaoran looked up. “You wanted to live forever, didn’t you, Kirin? And you wanted to protect your sister as long as you live, Shotoku. So why aren’t you happy? If you had stayed…you would have been killed.?Clow Reed said reluctantly. Then, he left the room, leaving a surprised Syaoran behind.
Shotoku stepped out of Syaoran as fast as he could, and reeled on him. He narrowed his eyes. “Did you see anything?? Syaoran stared at him, noticing for the first time, the sorrow hidden in those two pools of blue, and nodded. “What did you see?? Syaoran didn’t hesitate.
“I saw you, and your sister. I saw Clow Reed, turning you both into Clow Cards.? Eriol and Sakura’s eyes widened.
“You’re a Clow Card??Eriol asked.
“Who is your sister??Sakura asked. Syaoran replied for Shotoku.
“The Treachery. The Treachery, or Kirin is your sister. And you…are the Loyalty. So that is why you’re after her, you’re not here to really destroy her, you’re here to protect her! Just like Clow Reed said!? Shotoku fell to his knees, covering his ears with his hands.
“Stop, stop, stop! Stop talking!?he screamed, over and over. Sakura placed her hand on his shoulder, surprised that it didn’t go through. Shotoku stared at her face. “It only goes through when I’m fighting, when I’m in battle. Otherwise, I’m human like you.?He replied quietly. She kneeled next to him and smiled.
“It’s okay, Shotoku. We’ll help you protect your sister, but we have to make sure that she won’t hurt anybody anymore as well.?
“But, she’s not really like that! It was father who did it to her!?
“Clow Reed was your father?? Shotoku shook his head.
“No…not really. We lived at his house…being we had no real parents. We called him father…because we had no one else to call.?He explained, looking down, eyes on the brink of tears. Then, he let go, a silver droplet rolled down his pale cheek. Sakura brushed it away.
“Don’t cry. I’m sure he did it for your good.?
“He did. Otherwise, they would have been killed.?Syaoran explained. “Probably because they were associated with a person with great powers, and they would have been treated badly for the rest of their lives, which is worse. Clow Reed did what he did so that you two wouldn’t have to suffer that.?
Shotoku’s head shook from side to side. “No…this is worse. Being a monster, forever and ever is worse, Card Mistress! Kirin still believes that father is alive somewhere, she was too young when it happened, she hasn’t let the fact sink in, that he’s not here anymore, that all these years we’ve been living…he was gone!?he yelled, he broke down in tears, body racked with sobs. Sakura put a motherly hand around his shoulders.
“It’s okay. Don’t cry. We’ll…help you somehow. We’ll turn you back into humans again. I promise.?His sobs grew quieter. “But what did you mean, that you killed her family? Aren’t you her family?? He nodded shakily.
“Yes. But…I was Shotoku. I…look.?He held up his wrist, and pulled away the dark blue band that covered it. Sakura's eyes widened. There was a large scar across his wrist…as if?
“No…you didn’t??she asked, staring and shaking her head. He nodded.
“I did. It was too much to bear. But being a Clow Card, it didn’t let me. I couldn’t die! I found out that die that I couldn’t really kill myself! I sliced myself and there was no blood, I couldn’t die!?he yelled, eyes glassy and forlorn. He wiped his tears away with his hand. “Which is worse…because you can’t end the torture. Clow Reed wouldn’t have known, he never knew what it was like to be a Clow Card. The other cards, they didn’t have emotions or feelings, they weren’t like us.?He added. They all heard someone jump down. Looking up, they stared into the eyes of a lost little girl.
“You haven’t had enough for hurting me, Shotoku.?She simply said, and she thrust her hand up into the air again. The flute appeared in front of Shotoku, and floated into her hands. “You won’t be needing this. This time, I’ll make them pay for hurting me too, and you can’t do anything. Then, I can find father and destroy him.? Shotoku got to his feet.
“He’s dead! Father is dead, don’t you get that?!?
“Father isn’t dead! I’ll make him pay for turning me into a monster!?She yelled, as the gold and silver diamond fell out of her hands. Shotoku stared at it, there were dents all over the little treasure.
“Why did you keep that??
“Because…because?
“Father gave you that!?
“I…only kept it so that it reminded me of how much I have to kill him!?she yelled. Shotoku heard three bodies falling to the ground…again. He knew who they were. The Card Mistress, Sakura, Syaoran, and…the reincarnation of Clow…Eriol! Kirin saw Shotoku staring at the boy from England and narrowed her eyes in triumph. “So father is dead. But it seems like his power is still there. Why are you staring at that English boy?? Shotoku didn’t answer, he just stared back up. “So…he has a connection with Clow Reed. Then destroying him, will be like destroying father! He’ll never wake up!?she yelled down.
“I’ll make sure that you won’t!? Kirin held up the flute
“You can’t. I have this now. The Card Mistress and Father’s descendant will never wake up either! They’ll live the same horrible dream, where their loved one will die, again, and again, until their bodies give up, then they’ll die! Brother you were wrong.?She said, facing Shotoku.
“How??
“Revenge is so sweet.? And with that, she disappeared from sight, leaving a helpless fourteen-year-old standing there, not knowing what to do. He clutched his head in frustration. He reeled on the three sleeping forms.
“I have to wake them up…all of them. The only way to do that is by Treachery…what do I do, what do I do??he repeated, confusion amidst his voice. He fell to his knees, still clutching his head. Then, he slowly let go, and stared up into the sky, regretful. He turned back to Sakura, Eriol and Syaoran, not knowing what nightmares they were going through, and stood up. “Goodbye. Promises aren’t always kept. But don’t worry. This promise will come true. I promise that you wake up? he started to walk away. He turned his head back. “even if it means…that we never will.?
The next chapter is the last chapter! Review!