This is the very end! The final part at last!
Hold Me Through ?Chapter 7 / Goodbyes and Hellos
Shotoku stood there, staring at the four sleeping forms before him on the floor, deep in slumber. He knew that they would not wake up again, if he didn’t do something. Without his flute, he wouldn’t be able to do anything at all…unless…he wouldn’t think about it. What he had to do, he would have to do. This was the Card Mistress, the other Card Captor, and the reincarnation of Clow. He had to save them. They weren’t supposed to be pulled into this turmoil of misplaced and misunderstood feelings. It was only supposed to be him and his sister. He knew that they were having nightmares now. They were sweating and anguished looks crossed their faces. He didn’t want them to suffer because of them. He didn’t want them to suffer at all…because they had offered to help.
For all these years he had been the Loyalty, not one person had volunteered to help him in his task. Not one person turned their head to ask him what was wrong, not one person cared. That was until he met them. He had been so careful to hide it from them, but somehow they knew the truth. And he hated it. He thought they would be like the others, and just know the problem without even trying to solve it. They would be ‘sorry for him? like all the others. He didn’t need their pity. He didn’t want it. But they didn’t turn him down and rub his face in the dirt. They comforted him and wiped away his doubts, vowing to help him complete what he was meant to do. They offered, without him asking. They didn’t pity, and they didn’t act superior, like the others had done before. These Cardcaptors were certainly different, they cared.
He got up and started to walk away, the faint breeze brushing his hair away from his face. He stopped after a few solemn steps, and dared to look back. A faint and forced smile played upon his lips. “Goodbye. Promises aren’t always kept. But don’t worry. This promise will come true. I promise that you wake up…even if it means…that we never will.?The words hung in the air, it’s sharpness piercing through the silence. Then, he disappeared amidst the trees, in search of the Treachery.
Sakura knew that the nightmares were happening again. She remembered what Treachery had said before, something that had echoed in her mind in the other dreams, that she had forgot to tell. “If you are killed in your dreams, you will never wake up.?the thought scared her. Then why didn’t Syaoran not wake up when she saw him die in front of her eyes? That wasn’t the real Syaoran. But something told her that the one in front of her now, was. Syaoran was standing in front of her, facing her. They were in an alley, the bright sun shone down on their faces, hot and uncomfortable. But they dared not move. Someone they didn’t know pressed a gun to their backs. Fear played in Sakura’s emerald eyes.
Right then and there, Syaoran wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t dare. The gun pressed harder against his back and Syaoran’s head whipped back a little. Then, a gun was thrust in front of his face. “Take it,?the attacker commanded. Syaoran did his bidding and held the weapon awkwardly in his hands. The attacker moved away from the two. He was dressed in black, black cloth covering everything except for his eyes, which were a piercing gray-blue. Syaoran stared at him.
“What do you want me to do with this??he asked, eyeing the metal object. He turned it over. He wasn’t going to try anything, not while that other gun the attacker was holding was pointed to his head. Though he couldn’t see it, the disguised person seemed to smile cruelly under the fabric, and he motioned towards Sakura. Syaoran’s eyes widened, as did Sakura’s. He couldn’t mean what he thought he meant?
“Shoot her.?That confirmed his fears. He stayed frozen for a while, unable to say anything from shock. He couldn’t harm her! Not even if he wanted to that second. Of all the people in the world, Sakura was the one he was most scared of getting hurt. The idea of her dying by his own hands sickened him, and his face grew a few shades paler. The person repeated his command. “I said, shoot her, or you’ll die.? Syaoran’s head wanted to burst. What was he going to do now? What could he do? It was either kill or be killed. But…kill her? He couldn’t…he just couldn’t. When he had had that other dream, it was merely an illusion, but the pain was intense even so. It cut through him like a knife, and he wished it would never happen.
Somehow, he knew this Sakura wasn’t an illusion. They were sharing a dream, this was the real Sakura. And now he had to kill her. If she died, would she ever wake up? He didn’t know. In all the nightmares he ever had, he usually woke up before the attacker or the enemy got to him, he would never be killed. But…this is for real. This…is do or die. It’ll really happen, and nothing can reverse it if it brings consequences. He shut his eyes and shook his head. “I can’t do it.?He simply stated. Sakura stared at him, wide-eyed. The man did the same, then, his eyes narrowed. Sakura still eyed him. He was willing to give up his life…so that she didn’t have to? The man started to yell.
“What? Kill her now, or you’ll die!?he yelled. Syaoran seemed totally unafraid. His expression didn’t change. He looked into Sakura’s beautiful green eyes, and shook his head again. Sakura stared back at him, tears threatening to flow down her cheeks. She wanted to scream out, to tell him to kill her, but she couldn’t. The words stuck in her throat like a lump, and her stomach seemed to do flip-flops. Her head was hurting, and her legs were sore. She didn’t want Syaoran to die!
“I…I just can’t.?Syaoran repeated, still staring at Sakura. She wanted to cry, her eyes were glassy, he could tell. He saw a tear escape and flow down her flushed cheeks, but he couldn’t reach out. He wanted to brush it away, to tell her it was okay, but he didn’t dare. He just stared back, hoping she would understand his actions. He hoped dearly she would forgive him for doing this to her. He hoped she would forgive him for all the things he had said and done before that he didn’t mean. And he hoped he would forgive himself for leaving her. I’m so sorry, Sakura, please forgive me, he thought. The gun fired.
Sakura didn’t see the bullet, all she saw was Syaoran close his eyes tight, his body jerked upward, and then slumped. She saw him falling to the ground, and land on his side, a large puddle of dark red liquid forming on the floor from beneath him. She screamed and immediately kneeled down, holding Syaoran’s head on her lap. She cradled him in her arms, her tears falling onto his pale face. The blood started to stain her clothes. “Syaoran, please wake up, Syaoran!? He didn’t answer, she knew he wouldn’t answer, but she kept on whispering her plea, hoping he would hear, and open his eyes. “Please open your eyes, Syaoran, please!? The tears were streaming down her cheeks like a river, landing on Syaoran’s face. She didn’t know what happened next.
All she heard was a loud bang of the gun being shot again. In a split-second, she turned her head and saw the bullet heading straight towards her. She closed her eyes to let it hit her, but then she felt something push her to the ground, and felt something wet on her clothes. It was raining now. She could feel the wetness against her body. She opened her eyes to see the rain again, but she felt no pain. Am I dead already, she thought? Then, her eyes widened at the sight before her. Syaoran had pushed her out of the way with his body, the bullet had missed them both. But it wasn’t raining. Sakura gasped. The wetness, was his blood, pouring out of his wound and on to her. The killer disappeared in front of her eyes, and Treachery’s voice echoed in the darkness.
“If you die in your dreams, you’ll never wake up, Sakura.?Sakura looked up to the sky, and whipped her head around to look.
“Stop it, Treachery! Don’t do this to him!?she yelled, tears running. She heard the little girl laugh.
“Does it hurt??
“What??
“Does it hurt, to be hurt, to lose those you love??the voice asked. Sakura couldn’t believe her ears. What was she saying? What did she know of losing those you love? “Does it??
“Yes.?Sakura replied, stroking Syaoran’s face lovingly. “It hurts so much?
“So now you know! It hurts to lose those you love, and it hurts more to have them hurt you.?There was sorrow in the little girl’s voice. “Now you know how painful it is! This is the way it’s been since so long ago I can’t remember! You have it easy, Card Mistress, because at least you can die! At least you can escape it all! But I…can’t. Do you see what father has done to us! Do you see how painful he made life! Eternal and unending life? We’re not things! We’re not supposed to be things! We were people, real and living people, with real blood, real flesh, a real life! And that day, he took it away from us, forever! I know it hurts, I knew it would, but imagine something much greater than that, to be carried inside forever!? the sound of choked sobs broke the air, and then all was silent. Sakura stared down at the one she loved.
“Why would you do that for me, Syaoran? Please come back.?She hugged him close and cried. “It…it…hurts so much?
“Kirin! Get down here! I’m going to setting scores once and for all! I’m not going to let you hurt anymore people!?Shotoku yelled into the sky, his fist clenched and eyes looking upward. They were narrowed and anger-filled. The words cut into the silence, wanting and demanding to be answered. A small hateful laugh filled the air, as the Treachery appeared, floating in the sky, then slowly descending until her feet were on the ground as well. She faced him. “I’m not going to let these meaningless attacks go on.?He spat out. She stared at him nonchalantly, and threw back her head, laughing sharply. She eyed him.
“What can you do about it! You know as well as I do, that we can’t kill ourselves. You’ve tried that already, and it didn’t work, did it Shotoku??she chided, eyes narrowing teasingly. He glared at her. It would have made any normal person’s blood turn cold, but Clow Cards had no blood. He took a step towards her. She saw it, but she didn’t retreat.
“That may be so, but have you ever thought about Clow Cards killing each other? We haven’t tried that yet, and why do I get the idea that this I going to work??he said solemnly, seeing her expression change from triumph to fear. She took a step back. “You’ve never thought of that before, have you??he asked. She glared at him.
“Don’t even try it Shotoku. I would kill you.?She warned. He smirked.
“And I’ll take you down with me.?he replied. “No matter what you say, I’ll make sure that no more meaningless nightmares go on inside the heads of poor innocent people, just because they know something that you won’t comprehend, because you’re afraid.?
“I’m not afraid of anything! What do they know that I don’t??
“They know what it means to have friendship, and love, and hope. You have none. You’ve never had any friends, nobody’s ever loved you, and you’ve never hoped. You gave up hope. You pushed people away from you, saying they hurt you as a mere excuse. They can’t love you, if they won’t love you back.?The words cut through her like a sword. She seemed taken back, and her knees started to shake. Shotoku noticed, and smiled. This is working, he thought. He took a step closer. She wasn’t looking at him, so she didn’t notice. She was staring at the ground.
“That’s…it isn’t true!?she defended.
“It isn’t? Name one example. Just one, and I’ll say I’m wrong.? She stayed silent. He knew she was searching for something to say, but he knew she wouldn’t find. He knew his chance. He handed her a knife. “Fight with me. Until one of us, or both of us dies.?He commanded. She stared at her reflection in the metal.
“You want me…to kill you?? He shook his head.
“I want you to fight.? He dropped the sword, and she reached out and held it in her hand, like she was going to stab somebody. The look in her eyes was forlorn and understanding. She stood up, smiling slightly, and nodded.
“Yes…let’s fight…until the end.? Shotoku smiled at his little sister warmly. She returned the smile. “And then…we’ll go meet father together…and we can stay with him forever. Just like it was meant to be, right, big brother??she said, looking hopefully up at him. There were tears glistening in her eyes. He nodded.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear those words from your mouth, Kirin. Yes, we’ll go meet father forever, and see all the friends that we’ve forgotten, and leave this horrible place, ne??
“Yes, onii-san, we will.?
Sakura saw the light engulf her and Syaoran, she heard someone calling her name. She felt the burden and weight of Syaoran's body disappear from her arms, and she tried to cry out. No voice came. She saw the light, only the light…the light that seemed so welcoming. She heard the voice more clearly now. "Sakura, Sakura, wake up. Everything will be okay now." It was Tomoyo's voice. Yes, she thought, it will, won't it?
*sob, sob* You know what happens now…look for the epilogue!