I Know The Meaning of Pain…Chapter 3…Doubts

The door creaked as a shadow slipped into the room, its features hidden in the darkness. The window curtains were pulled back, forbidding the moonlight too peek through. But from where he stood, Ishiro knew
where everything was, and where not to step. Three sleeping forms and one who was watching him intently, to make the first move. Ichiro stared at Sakura and Kirin, making sure that they weren’t watching him
out of the corner of their eyes. Silently, he bent down next to the nearest one at the corner of the room, far away from the other three. As he did so, the form sat up and looked at him. He put his finger over his
mouth and helped her up. "What are you doing?" Tomine whispered, quietly so that only he could hear it. He led her past the sleeping girls.

"I’m going to take the other cards tonight. We don’t have any more time to spare." He said. She nodded and then stopped in front of Sakura and pointed at her pillow.

"They’re under there." She said. "How are we going to take them? We can’t move her head." Ishiro nodded and started to think, staring down at Sakura’s sleeping form the whole time. Tomine waited for his reply.

"Perhaps we can…if you do it smoothly enough, she won’t wake up." Ishiro said. Tomine stared at him as if he had just gone crazy. "You can do it."

"WHA…?" Tomine started, but was soon interrupted by Ishiro’s hand as he covered her mouth. She pulled away and crossed her arms. "Fine. Do that. Just stick me with the things you don’t want to do." This time,
he smiled devilishly.

"Well, you are her friend, after all, I’d bet that if she woke up and found you holding her head she wouldn’t mind as much as if I was holding it…and her boyfriend wouldn’t either. You can just continue your little
‘I’ll be your friend’ talk and I’ll be on my way…"

"You spied on me?" she said, with her eyes wide. "Why you…you…you…"

"Tomodachi. You said I was your good friend." He replied, causing her to almost break out of control and lash out at him. But he bent down and picked up Sakura’s head slightly, making an annoyed face. "I’m
flattered, believe me." he said sarcastically. "Now hurry up and take the cards." He said. Tomine bent down and reached under her pillow, feeling around.

Something flip-flopped inside her chest. Something didn’t feel right. A small voice in her head told her that it was wrong to steal from your friends, that she shouldn’t do this. Pushing it back inside, she frowned.
This had never happened before…why was it doing that now? It confused her…this didn’t feel right all of a sudden…

Finally, her hand touched a stack of paper, obviously nothing other than the Clow…Sakura Cards. She had her grip on the first half of them, before Sakura’s eyes quivered. In panic, Ishiro dropped her head, and
grabbed Tomine’s hand, pulling her back into the corner in which she slept. Her hands were still on the cards, and she placed them in Ishiro’s grasp. Then, he opened the door and ran out, just in time. As Sakura
woke up, Tomine dropped herself down onto her bed, and immediately began to act asleep; hoping that the other girl wouldn’t notice the pretending.

Sakura looked around, and her brows furrowed. Something wasn’t right. She felt it. But everyone was asleep. She stood up, and walked over to the window. Looking at it, she pushed the curtains back, letting the
moonlight spill into the room. She stared at the moon hung up in the sky and signed. Putting her elbows on the windowsill and kneeling, she thought out loud, while Tomine was listening to the whole thing. She
sighed. "Syaoran, why do I get the impression that you’re ignoring me these days?"

A smile played on Tomine’s face. She is vulnerable right now…it was a perfect time to start the manipulation. She faked a yawn. Sakura turned to her. "Oh Tomine, I didn’t know you were awake!" Tomine
smiled.

"Oh, I always wake up in the middle of the night, I love to look at the moon. Don’t worry, I didn’t hear anything, if you were talking at all." She said. Sakura still didn’t get it. "May I sit with you?" she said, seating
herself down next to Sakura, both looking at the white circle in the sky. Tomine sighed. "The moon is so beautiful…" Sakura nodded.

"Tomine, you are my friend right?" Sakura asked. Tomine’s eyes widened, but she didn’t answer. "I do consider you as my friend, and I trust in you. I hope you think so too." Petty human girl…she thought that I
would even consider her as my friend, Tomine thought, but a gut-wrenching feeling started to attack her stomach. Her brows furrowed. What is this feeling? This feeling that I’m doing something wrong? Why does
it always attack me? It has never occurred before.

Perhaps I’ve been around these humans too long…I am starting to feel their emotions. I cannot let that happen…it is a weakness to feel. But this emotion…I know what it’s called…doubt. I’ve never felt this
before…I have never doubted my actions. This Card Mistress was more powerful than I thought. Her manipulation has already started innocently, whether she wanted it to or not…I must begin mine…

"I heard you call Syaoran’s name while I was half-asleep and almost awake. Why? Is there something wrong, Sakura? If I am your friend, you can tell me." Tomine said, with a sense of slyness during the last
sentence. Sakura’s head bowed, and her cheeks flushed a light pink. Useless human physical reactions, Tomine thought.

"I think…he’s ignoring me…" Tomine smiled…she knew the reason, but she played it safe.

"Oh really? Why ever so?"

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Quietly and carefully, Ishiro placed his finger on the sleeping Syaoran’s forehead. The treatment had only begun a few days ago, after Tomine had stolen the Firey and told him about how Sakura felt towards
this boy. The tip of the finger glowed a dull purple as it touched his head. "I’ll ignore Kinomoto Sakura…" he said. Syaoran’s face twisted as if he was in a dream, and he replied in sleep.

"No…I…won’t…"

Ishiro’s eyes narrowed. "You must obey my will."

"No…"

"Why?"

"Because…I…love…her…"

Ishiro let a muffled growl escape his throat as he continued talking. "Then love her, but if you don’t want her to get hurt, " Ishiro said, a faint smile playing on his lips, "then you’ll have to stay away from her."

"Is…something…after…her?"

Ishiro bared his fangs. He was getting impatient. "Yes…"

"What…tell me…"

"The Clow Cards are after their master…you must take them away from her to keep her safe from them. Only you can do it. You must not face her, for she will surely ask you if you know where they are. Love
means trust, and you’ll have no choice but to answer truthfully. Therefore, you must ignore her, just until I come and take the cards away from both of you, then you’ll both be safe."

"Who…are…you?"

"I am the first guardian of the Clow Cards, I will bring them back to normal."

"What do you mean by normal?" Syaoran said, his voice getting stronger. Ishiro thought a moment before responding.

"I mean, by the fact that they won’t threaten people again." He said. Of course they won’t, they’ll be after you and the Card Mistress only, he thought inwardly. Syaoran’s eyes quivered. On instinct, Ishiro quickly
got back to his sleeping mat and got under the blanket, pretending he was asleep.

Syaoran sat up quickly, sweating as if he had had a bad dream. He looked around. Probably trying to find whoever told him what to do, Ishiro thought. Ishiro’s face was turned away from him an he was smirking.
Syaoran got up on his feet and walked over the sleeping form of Shotoku slowly.

Suddenly, Shotoku’s hand grabbed Syaoran’s leg. "Where are you going, Syaoran?" Shotoku asked. Syaoran seemed surprise that his friend was awake, but he pointed to the door.

"To check on Sakura."

Shotoku smiled. "Only to check right, not…to steal?" Ishiro’s eyes flipped open…this was trouble…

Syaoran’s eyes widened. "How…how did you know?" he asked.

Shotoku glanced at Ishiro, though in the dark Syaoran couldn’t see. "Oh…I have my ways…" he said, then he turned back to Syaoran. "hurry and go now." He said. Ishiro heard the door open and close quietly,
the familiar squeaking of the old hinges. He also heard Shotoku get up and footsteps getting closer to where he lay. Knowing there was no time, Ishiro leapt up, only to be pushed back down by Shotoku. "Who
are you really, Ishiro? And who is your friend?"

Ishiro flashed a glare at Shotoku and didn’t answer for the first few seconds, but he finally replied once Shotoku started to push his knee into Ishiro’s stomach. "I told you, Ishiro and Tomine." He said, bearing the
pain. This minor physical feeling was nothing compared to the pain he knew anyway.

"I said really."

"Those are our real names. Why would we bother with fake ones?"

"Just in case you fail."

"We won’t fail."

"Really? I have in my control right now, and you’re helpless." Shotoku said. Ishiro glanced at him, a sly smile playing on his face.

"That’s what you think."

"Huh? What do you mean? How do you plan to get out of this, without me telling the others?"

"Easy." Ishiro said, pushing him off and onto the ground. He cornered him and advanced. "I’ll just have to take you with me."

The last thing that Shotoku remembered was something burning inside his chest, something unbearable and definitely uncomfortable. A voice echoed in his mind. "You think this is torture? Imagine having to
deal with ten times this much pain every day!" It was Ishiro…

"What…pain?"

"The pain of having to know that your job will never be done. The pain of knowing that you can never go to heaven, or even hell in that matter! The pain of knowing that no one you care about is alive on earth!
That they’re all waiting somewhere for you, when you know you’ll never come to them! The pain of knowing you can’t die…and can’t leave all your troubles behind!"

"I know that pain! I’ve had it before!"

"Then what has happened to it? It has been taken from your shoulders! The burden you no longer carry!" And then, Shotoku felt nothing more…all he saw…was the darkness.

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"Tomine…?" Sakura said, turning to where her friend sat. She was no longer there, and she wasn’t sleeping either. Sakura twisted her neck and looked around. Tomine was there a second ago, where could she
have gone? Syaoran suddenly burst into the room, awakening Kirin and Himika, who sat up sleepily.

"Syaoran, what’s wrong?" Kirin asked, rubbing her eyes and hugging her stuffed animal. Panic played in his eyes.

"Shotoku and Ishiro, they’re both gone." Sakura nodded, the same panic evident in her voice.

"Tomine’s gone too."

"Sakura, look for your Sakura cards." Syaoran said. She obeyed, and placed her hand under her pillow, but pulled nothing out but half the stack.

"Only half of them are here!"