Okay, it’s called a writer’s block. Sorry for the delay, but I was so busy working on all my fics, and A World Beyond Ours, that I practically forgot about this one! Silly me! This is the last chapter, people! Tell me
what you think about it! Out of all six chapters, which one did you like the best? I know, this is a long one, but worth reading, believe me! Just save this page, and read it while you have free time, but remember
to review later! Thirteen pages, but please read it!

I Know The Meaning Of Pain…Chapter 6…A Turn of Tides

Tomine snapped quickly awake, and found herself lying against a tree amidst the shrubbery of a forest. It was late at night and the moon was hanging gracefully in the black midnight sky. She found an
unconscious green-haired fourteen-year-old next to her, and her eyes narrowed as she remembered who he was. The one who had hit her…she bared her fangs. She would make him pay for that. By using him to
attack his own friends, she would make him pay. She still felt the hurting inside her from the hit. For a human, he could throw hard. But she paid no heed, revenge was ever so sweet. So she plastered on a fake
face and proceeded to wake Shotoku up.

Her brows furrowed. Where was Ishiro? The last thing she remembered…the last thing…her cheeks flushed pink. But he had been there. Where had he gone off to, she wondered. At this late at night, there were
only two things for him to do – feed, or attack the Cardcaptors himself. She smiled. This would all be over and done with soon, and they would finally be rid of the Card Mistress. Suddenly, her mind began to
wander.

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What good was it to destroy the Card Mistress anyway? What good would it be if she ever returned the Sakura Cards to Clow Cards? They knew that was what they had to do since the beginning, as if it was
programmed into their minds. But still she wondered, why? Clow created them, but Clow wanted this? After all, one of her allies is a direct descendant of Clow, and the other is practically Clow Reed himself!
What was the purpose of this chain of events? Then she remembered.

Clow Reed had never intended to use them to regain the Clow Cards. Ishiro and Tomine were merely using their advantage of power to take revenge. She remembered her first purpose…to protect Sakura. Clow
had long known before his death of the Card Mistress that would change everything. He knew that his descendant would be the one she would fall in love with, and he knew that his reincarnation would be there
to help. But Eriol had been different, a mind of his own, not anything like Clow’s…but still…he intended to help. Tomine scowled. He thinks that he can use us so easily?

Like a doll, who is now reduced to nothing but rags…blowing in the wind, ever so softly…

Shotoku woke slowly, his eyelids seemingly heavy as he lifted them. But they weren’t the same human eyes as before. They were slightly duller, the color of a will-less soldier, sent to battle, which he was. He was
under their control. Whatever she wished, he would do. This would all be so easy, and it would all end so soon, she thought again.

They made their way out of the shrubbery and into a forest trail. Shotoku followed soullessly behind her, his hand grasping an invisible weapon. She knew what it was. The spear would appear with his will. Until
then, it lay hidden. It was still there, but hidden. He never uttered a word out of his pale lips, and he never questioned her actions. How could he? He couldn’t even think right now! She had complete control.
Utter and complete control over him. She enjoyed the feeling as it sent a comfortable shudder go down her spine.

She found her ally’s tracks in the soft mossy ground, and followed them easily. But then she came to a clearing and stifled a scream.

She walked over slowly to the tree trunk with a sharp jab of bark sticking away from it. But that was not what she had been afraid of. As she reached out her hand, she broke a piece of wood away from the shark
jutting wood, and brought it closer to her face. She gasped for breath before she eventually gained control. She became scared, so very scared. More frightened than she ever had been in her life.

For what she saw on the wood, was red. The red of blood.

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Slowly Ishiro’s eyes opened but they closed quickly as the light from the sun pierced through the darkness of the cave directly on to his face. Stifling a mutter, he sat up with aid from the wall, and stood up. The
pain hit him like a rock.

He cringed and slid against the wall again, regaining his balance and suppressing the knives that were cutting through his back. Step after slow step, he made his way over to the fire, where his shirt lay folded,
but the bloodstain was still there. He slipped it on, carefully avoiding to touch his injury. And he breathed hard in the darkness. Walking was hard, let alone running, so he decided against it.

He half-slid, half-stumbled near the mouth of the cave, wincing as the light hit his eyes. But he opened them and stared at the floor, slowly adjusting to the brightness. And he almost had one foot out of the cave
when he heard someone stir, and a voice called him from the back. "Why must you do this?" he heard someone call.

He turned around, and found himself staring into the emerald green eyes of the Card Mistress. The other Cardcaptor was still in the back of the cave, sleeping in the corner. Ishiro glanced at him in the darkness,
barely making out the form and turned back to Sakura. "I’m not sure." he managed to mumble.

"Please stop. You’re hurting yourself, and you’re hurting your sister, and you’re hurting us. Tell me who you really are, what you want, and we’ll give it to you, but stop hurting us." Her eyes started to water as she
took a step up. In return, he stepped back. "I won’t hurt you." Ishiro shook his head.

"No, no you won’t. But I will. I still owe you one, Card Mistress, but you should have left me to die." Ishiro narrowed his eyes. "Because this will be something I know you’ll regret."

"But your sister…"

"She’s not my sister. Tomine is my friend. We were friends ever since we had been turned into the monster you see before you."

"But you two seem so close…do you…love her?" Ishiro turned away.

"Love is nothing but a weakness…a scornful and petty weakness…but…" his voice suddenly became softer, "yes…I love her, just like he loves you." He said, motioning towards Syaoran. Sakura’s eyes dulled.

"He’s been avoiding me…I don’t think he does love me anymore…"

"Stupid girl. He’s trying to protect you. I threatened him. I said that if he stayed away from you, you would come to no harm. Blind humans, you can’t see through anything, can you?" Sakura forced her head up.

"Wrong. I can see you. And I know that you’re lying through your teeth. This will not be something I regret. I will help others even if they kill me the second I wake up. Because if I leave them there…I…" she bit
her lip. "I would be no better than you! People who don’t have hearts, who don’t care can leave people there, like you, Ishiro. But you do need a heart to love, so I know that it’s there…you’re just hiding it."

"I’m hiding nothing. You talk nonsense, Card Mistress."

"Sakura, why can’t you call me Sakura?"

"I don’t know who Sakura is. I never knew her. I know who the Card Mistress is."

Sakura’s brow furrowed as she stepped a step closer. Ishiro noticed, but paid no heed. "I don’t want you to know who the Card Mistress is. I want you to know me, Sakura, because I am the one who helped you, not
the Card Mistress. The Card Mistress has no heart, she is merely a shadow that lives in a shadow world. There is no such thing. The owner of the Sakura Cards, is Sakura, not the Card Mistress." Ishiro turned.

"I have to go." Sakura watched him leave, not a word coming out of her mouth, until Syaoran stirred and woke up. Then she turned, and ran into his arms, almost knocking him over.

"You were only protecting me, Syaoran! You do still love me!" Syaoran stared down at her, clueless.

"How…did you know that?"

"Ishiro…he told me everything. Syaoran, do you ever think that we and Ishiro may one day be friends?" Syaoran stroked his hand through her hair and looked up at the morning sky.

"Perhaps…but probably not."

"I know he’s a good person…he’s just unlucky…when do you think he’ll forgive us for whatever we did wrong?"

Syaoran smiled. "When Shotoku ever gets a girlfriend." Sakura pouted and hit Syaoran on the arm.

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Tomine found her friend leaning against a tree trunk a distance away, gasping for breath and clutching his side. She gasped and ran in front of him as his face slowly turned upward. "Tomine…" was all he said
before he ran out of energy, collapsing and unconscious. She caught him before he fell, and lay him gently against a tree, before noticing the bandages around him. She traced the lines on the white fabric
slowly, talking to herself.

"What happened to you?" she whispered, while Shotoku stood emotionlessly behind her.

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"Come on! We have to hurry! Onii-san’s gone! Sakura and Syaoran are gone too! Something must have happened! Lock the door, grab your jacket, Himika! We have to find them!" Kirin yelled as she ran down the
stairs nimbly and grabbed her jacket off the rack. Slipping it on, she pushed the door open with her body, and ran outside as quick as possible. Himika followed shortly after, only one arm through her jacket,
before she finally caught up and slipped the other arm through the sleeve. The little girl was surely running fast for her age, and the voice seemed too urgent for their disappearance to be normal. Himika and
Kirin's search had turned out fruitless when they had split up, so they had returne home. But now, the little girl was getting scared...

"Kirin! Slow down! They’ve just been gone a night, they may have lost their way and camped out, this happens a lot around here!" Himika yelled. Kirin shook her head vigorously.

"Himika, they’re not just the same ordinary kind of people! I’m not the ordinary kind of person either! There’s a lot we haven’t told you…" Himika grabbed her shoulder and slowed her down until they were walking
quickly.

"What haven’t you told me?" Kirin hesitated, but in the urgent situation, she could do nothing but tell.

"Sakura is the Card Mistress. She owns these cards that have special abilities that can wreak any kind of havoc in the world and come to life. But as long as they remain in her hands, they’ll be under control.
Syaoran is also a Cardcaptor. He helps her, although they were enemies when they were little. He has a few cards of his own. Shotoku and I…well…we were two of the cards. We were not in her control and I used
to be a huge threat, but Shotoku and I finally regained sense, and…"

"And?"

"We killed ourselves."

"NANI? ARE YOU A GHOST, KIRIN?"

"Shhh! No, I’m not! Somehow, we found our way back again, but not as cards this time, as humans… Ishiro and Tomine, I don’t think they’re normal either, and they’re hiding something they want to keep secret. If
they’re related to Clow and all, they should’ve know who Sakura was from the beginning, and if they don’t want the Card Mistress to know their identities, chances are they’re not on our side. And they’re missing
too. That’s why it’s so dangerous! We have to go find them!" Kirin yelled as she broke into running again. Himika followed after her, no questions asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m becoming so weak…weaker everyday, and I cannot let this happen. Sakura…the Card Mistress should have left me there, her heart is too big for her own good. Her sense of righteousness sickens me. And I
should have killed her right there and then…but instead I ran. Retreat is worse than defeat, because when you are defeated, you don’t have to live to know about it.

And this feeling that nags in my chest all day, ever since I woke up to find myself still living. But then I remember, they couldn’t have killed me. Maybe in a coma, but they couldn’t have taken the breath out of
me. If I can’t, how can they? And yet…I don’t know why…but at that very moment the wood pierced through my body…

I wished I was mortal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So we finally meet in battle, Card Mistress." Tomine said, with a hint of annoyance in her usually cold voice. She narrowed her eyes and faced the emerald-eyed girl standing at the opposite end of the clearing,
next to the boy she loved. Sakura grabbed hold of Syaoran’s hand for reassurance, and shot her own response back.

"I’ll tell you what I told your friend. My name is Sakura, not Card Mistress." Tomine’s eyes widened, but they soon drained of all emotion quickly. So they had been the one who had helped Ishiro…and yet they
were the ones who had injured him as well. Tomine smirked.

"So what weapon will you be using against me, your cards?" They stared at her, as if trying to comprehend the hints she was throwing at them. "They won’t work. You wouldn’t dare counterattack what I send out."
Syaoran stepped in front of Sakura.

"Why not?"

Tomine smiled, and with a slight jerk of her hand, a rustle sounded in the bushes behind her. Quicker than a blink of an eye, Shotoku stood facing them, his eyes drained and dull as Sakura gasped. "Because of
this." Tomine replied. "Would you attack Shotoku?" She could see the other Cardcaptor biting his lip, obviously scanning his mind for what to do, but finally, he stepped out.

"I’ll fight him." Sakura gasped and looked at him with questioning eyes, but he leveled her look with one of determination. She knew right then and there that she would not be able to do anything. Tomine
nodded and pointed at the battlefield, a small clearing in the shadows of the thick canopy of leaves above it. Shotoku stepped up as well, his weapon suddenly appearing in his hold. Syaoran suppressed a growl.
Shotoku had a weapon…he couldn’t last long against that.

As quick as he finished thinking, the battle began.

Shotoku attacked first, hard and merciless, not acting on his own thoughts, but on Tomine’s. Thrust after thrust he carefully threw at Syaoran, and each time, Syaoran painfully blocked them. His forearms were
getting sore, but he couldn’t let Sakura throw out the cards at Shotoku. All those cards against one were not fair. Shotoku brought down the wooden spear so quickly it felt like iron to Syaoran. He was aiming for
his head.

Syaoran did try to kick Shotoku from under his feet, but he knew that Tomine saw what he wanted to do, and told her slave to dodge, and so he did. He jumped before every low kick, and dodged before every
high one. He was always a centimeter way from being hit, though Syaoran wasn’t so lucky. His arms stung and he winced, being slowly pushed back by the endless attacks. He hardly had time to counterattack.
And when he did, he missed. Things were not going his way. He looked up into Shotoku’s eyes, emotionless still.

Then he heard a high-pitched yell, and saw his sword being thrown in his direction. Stealing one glance sideways, he saw Kirin and Himika standing close by, apprehensive and afraid for both combating friends.
Syaoran jumped high into the air and caught the sword while it was near. Unsheathing it, he held it in fighting position, his arms red and sweat running down his face, but this time, he had defense.

Each time Shotoku brought down the spear, Syaoran’s sword was waiting for it. With a weapon of his own, he was much quicker, and managed to put in quite a few slashes of his own. Finally one hit.

Shotoku kept on attacking, but Syaoran saw the deep red blood from the gash across his cheek. The eyes felt no pain, but Syaoran had to make him fall somehow. Finally having no choice, he twisted the blade
to its flat side, and hit Shotoku while his spear was still down on the back of his neck. His body couldn’t take that and keep on fighting, so fortunately, he fell to his knees and then to the floor, face down. Syaoran
breathed hard, his heaving and still holding the sword, just in case his opponent decided to wake up. But he didn’t, and Syaoran half-stumbled back to Sakura, who wrapped her hands around him and smiled.
"You did it!" Syaoran nodded and they both walked back next to their fallen friend.

Shotoku’s eyes were still closed, but they knew that the dulling and emotionless eyes would be gone when they opened. Kirin held her brother’s head in her lap and his bangs fell backwards as his head lulled to a
side, revealing two teeth marks on his neck. Himika gasped and touched the wound. "What is it?" As soon as she finished the question, it disappeared, and Kirin shrugged.

"It doesn’t matter, it’s gone." She proceeded to dab Shotoku’s cut on his cheek with her jacket sleeve, carefully and slowly. Himika knelt next to her, looking over the little girl’s shoulder. Sakura and Syaoran,
meanwhile, were staring challengingly at Tomine, who was simply smiling back.

"Well, it seems I’ve underestimated you, I am so sorry." She spat out sarcastically. "But now you’re going to have to go through me." she said. And suddenly, she collapsed on the ground, leaving Syaoran
speechless, until he felt Sakura collapse as well. He caught her before he fell, but he knew what was happening. Kirin stared up at him.

"They’re battling in their minds. This is it, winner takes all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I will not loose, Card Mistress."

"I am not the Card Mistress, I am Sakura. Why are you doing this, Tomine?"

"Revenge."

"Why must you get revenge, is it satisfying?"

"I don’t know yet, I haven’t gotten it."

"But why must you get it! Can’t you forgive who did this to you?"

"Clow and his cards did this to me. He has plagued us with eternal and never-ending life. Do you know how it feels when you see everyone around you die? And a childhood friend, may be whispering his last
elderly words to you, while you’re still nine years old? Your mother is waiting for you in heaven, but you can never go to her? This drives a person insane…luckily, I am not human."

"Please stop this, you’re hurting everybody."

"Shut up. I don’t need you to tell me what to do. You are weak and vulnerable. Have you ever thought what would happen if Syaoran ever left you?"

"…He wouldn’t…"

"How do you know? You don’t. Silly inferences made on what you think is solid observations. What if he did? What would you become?"

"……"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. You cannot live without some other people to depend on. You can’t be a loner, you can’t survive solitarily. Weak, vulnerable, stupid."

"No…"

"Other people don’t like weak people, if they ever find out, they’re going to leave."

"No!"

"All your friends, your family, and Syaoran, all of them gone. What will you be then? A shell, a hollow shell that’s full, full of emptiness. Do you like the idea?"

"Never!"

"Oh but it’s true. What would you be without your friends?"

"No…nothi…"

"Nothing."

"No stop!"

"Nothing at all."

"Please stop!"

"An empty shell."

"Please! Tomodachi!"

"…what did you say?"

"Please…oh please…please stop, Tomine…please stop hurting me…please stop…tomodachi…"

"Tomodachi…"

"You are my friend Tomine…friends don’t hurt their friends…"

"I am not your friend."

"It doesn’t matter how much you deny it, you need someone too. What would you be…without Ishiro?"

"Tomine. Still."

"No…you’d be what you say I’ll be. A hollow shell full of emptiness. You are my friend…why won’t you realize it?"

"How can I realize something that isn’t true?"

"But it is! My tomodachi! Believe me!"

"…Why?"

"Because friends trust each other."

"…I don’t have friends…"

"Ishiro. Do you love Ishiro?"

"……"

"Do you love him like I love Syaoran? What would you be without him?"

"Stop turning the tables on me."

"Nothing."

"I won’t fall for this."

"But you don’t have to. We can stop tormenting each other. Call me Tomodachi…"

"No."

"Am I your good friend?"

"I…don’t know."

"Why?"

"I’m confused."

"I’ll help you. Has revenge ever offered you a shoulder to cry on? Has it ever kissed you, and wrapped its arms around you? Has it ever kept you warm? Has it ever brought tears of joy to your eyes? Has it ever
made you smile?"

"Weaknesses."

"No, no they’re not. Has it?"

"Never."

"I would have offered you a shoulder to cry on. Ishiro would have loved you and kept you warm. Friends bring tears of happiness to your eyes…a tomodachi will make you smile."

"Stop it."

"Do you understand."

"Yes, but I’m not supposed to!"

"You do because you have a heart."

"No…"

"You need a heart to love, Tomine. Stop what you’re doing, you’re hurting people that could be your friend. Just say sorry."

"I never say sorry."

"Then show it."

"………don’t cry for me."

"What?"

"Just don’t. Sakura…am I human?"

"What?"

"Just answer."

"I believe so."

"Good."

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Syaoran watched as Sakura’s eyes opened slowly, and she smiled. A scar appeared on her palm, probably from the lies and pain Tomine had told her. It didn’t bleed, a scar just appeared, but it did hurt. Syaoran
gasped a sigh of relief. "I won, but she wasn’t very easy to defeat." She simply stated, raising up her hand. All eyes turned to Tomine, who was standing and smiling sadly. "Don’t cry for me…" Sakura whispered.
Then her eyes widened and she got up, running. "Don’t, Tomine! Don’t!"

Too late. Sakura watched as Shotoku’s fallen spear flew point-first towards Tomine, and she knew she would never be able to get to her in time. Tomine mouthed the words, goodbye, before she too looked up at
the spear.

Tomine closed her eyes, and she felt the impact pushing her down to the floor. It took a little longer for the spear to pierce through her skin than she thought. She smiled blissfully. Human. She had turned into
their enemy. And as long as she was human, she could die on her own free will. She knew that. And she opened her eyes, hoping to see the sky one more time…she had never bothered to look.

And her eyes widened.

She didn’t see the sky. And she suddenly knew why the spear had taken so long. It had to go through one more body before it got to hers, Ishiro. His face was twisted in pain, and his eyes were looking reluctantly
down at her, duller and duller with each second. "Ishiro." She whispered. He bent his face down and kissed her for the second time, and pulling away, he bit his lip as he felt a little blood escape his mouth.
Tomine’s eyes watered. "What are you doing…"

"You didn’t think you could leave me here by myself, did you? We went through so much already, might as well take the end with you too." He said, before he rolled his body off. She felt the spear being ripped
out of her as he did so and she winced. She turned her head slightly to see Ishiro painfully trying to pull the weapon out. He succeeded and collapsed on the floor next to her. They stared at each other. Ishiro
grasped her hand with the last of his strength, before his eyes slowly closed, as if trying to keep on looking at her as long as possible. Tomine felt the tears run down her cheek, but she also felt the pain ripping at
her.

She knew the damage had been done. She would be gone soon. Wait for me, she thought. She turned and looked up at the sky, before her eyes slowly closed too, thinking one last thing.

The sky is so very beautiful…

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WARNING: Happy ending ahead. If you love sad endings, stop reading right now. I’m just too weak for happy endings, so for those who are like me, the first epilogue is below for your enjoyment. This is
the bittersweet version, meaning it still leaves a little nagging in your chest. The second epilogue has the same title, but it’s a lot happier (for my satisfaction). If you love to read, read both of them! For
the others, stop reading here and review! My…isn’t this long?

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I Know the Meaning of Pain…Epilogue…Always (Bittersweet Version)

Sakura stepped into the clearing, smiling at the little patch of sunlight beaming down on that specific patch of grass. She sighed and bet down, tracing her fingers on the dirt. She felt tears run down her cheek,
but somehow, the wind brushed them away.

Don’t cry for me, Sakura.

"Tomine?" she asked, suddenly afraid and apprehensive.

Don’t be afraid.

"But how…"

Some things are unexplainable…like why Ishiro did what he did.

"Tomine…I’m so sorry…"

It’s not your fault. It was me who chose to do what I did. Don’t be sorry and don’t cry. But I have one more thing to say to you before really goodbye.

"What’s that?"

Don’t forget me, Tomodachi.

The voice slowly faded away, but Sakura knew that she was listening. "I never will, Tomine." She whispered. And Sakura could have sworn she heard someone smiling, though how she could hear a smile, she
didn’t know…but she knew…that somewhere up there…she was.

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I Know the Meaning of Pain…Epilogue…Always (Fully Happy Version)

Sakura walked down the street holding Syaoran’s hand, leaning her head against his shoulder. Eriol and Tomoyo had their own things to do today, Sakura knew that they liked each other, so she had not said a
word before they left. Shotoku and Kirin had stayed in the town where they had met Himika, though Sakura also knew that Shotoku didn’t convince Kirin to stay for the cooking… Suddenly, Syaoran’s hand slipped
out of hers as he collided into somebody. It took a while for Sakura to realize his absence, and she turned around, seeing a little boy sitting on the ground rubbing his head innocently. Syaoran stared down at
something concerning the boy that she didn’t see.

He spoke. "Hey watch it mister! Little kids are playing here!" A little girl suddenly ran up and waved her finger at a surprised Syaoran.

"Yeah mister!" She bent down and helped the boy up, who blushed and thanked her. They were no younger than nine, which was the age that she had met Syaoran. And the boy was still blushing furiously
before he turned and faced Sakura. His cocked his head and his eyes searched for an answer in Sakura’s face. The girl stopped in dead in her tracks and stared at her too.

"Do I know you?" the little boy asked. Dark gray-blue eyes stared at her though unruly purple hair, familiar…eyes…Sakura stared back. She felt someone take her hand, and looked down to see that it was the little
girl.

She had piercing but friendly dark blue eyes, and long purple hair, tied up into two little buns on either side of her head. She looked up and smiled as if remembering something. She opened her mouth and
spoke. Her voice was gentle and meek, but it flowed smoothly, like another voice she had heard before…

But her thoughts were drained out as the little girl’s statement hit her hard, but not painfully. "Does it still hurt, Sakura?"