I Know The Meaning Of Pain…Prologue

Too young, still too young to know what pain really is. That is what they enjoy to say to me, enjoy to believe. But they know nothing. Nothing at all. They are nothing but dim-witted, and simple-minded creatures. They do so enjoy being superior, even when they are not. They enjoy the way they can act better, and the way they can look down upon you. They enjoy the power, merely because they don't deserve it.

They aren't special. They don't know anything but pride and arrogance. These humans…which is what they call themselves, are idle and will never suspect a thing, once they look down on you. It's as if once they do that, you are under their control, you can't do anything to them. How foolish of them.

They said they cared for me, and took me in because I was a lost little girl. I'm not so little anymore, am I? Four years I had to deal with these humans, four long years. "Oh, aren't you lucky to be taken in and not die of starvation or the cold!" they say. As if I could. A Clow Card cannot die in the hands of nature, nor in the hands of man. They can die, though, in the hands of another card, or the hands of the Cardcaptor. I am not lucky. They took me in, not out of the goodness of their wretched hearts, but only so that they could gain a sense of superiority, that they were kind enough to help me. So that they could boast. When they say, "Look how healthy and pretty she is now!", they are not complimenting me.

What they're saying is, "Look how good I am and kind for taking her in, and making her so much better looking than that little wretched twelve-year-old we found." Boasters, Braggers, Idiots.

But now, I can go. And the punishment of the seal is broken. A card mistress, I was informed, did it. Ha, I should thank her, but I am afraid she wouldn't accept it, since I will be the one to end her life. It doesn't matter. She's just a human. And I have heard she has dominated many of the other cards, including Kirin and Shotoku. Well then, I'll just have to bring them back.

Clow Cards have names. They are not just pieces of paper you can call upon to help you when you need it. They live, and they can feel. But no one calls them by their names…just merely by their power. How cruel can these humans get. They call the cards "it"s and not "he"s or "she"s. We are nothing other than a weapon or a defense for them, and not captured cards, are merely another to be claimed. The welfare of those who dwell in the cards is left not cared for.

And they say I don't know pain. Out of all the cards, I would be the one who knew! Did that man they called Clow think that by giving me this power, it would be the last of me? That this would be enough punishment for what I have done? What did I do? He thought…I killed. He thought, that is. But what he couldn't see, did hurt me. I did not kill the little boy. Shotoku was still alive! And just because I saw what had happened to him and his sister, Clow decided that I couldn't return home. He didn't want anyone to find out about his little secret Clow Cards? Ha! And this is what I get!

Ishiro had been with me. His eyes had widened with mine at the sight of Shotoku being turned into what looked like a piece of paper. And Clow had taken Ishiro too. He had been my friend for as long as I remember. We had been playing that day, and happened to stumble upon the sight. He had tried to pull me away, and go home. But not even he could manage to move. Fright…we were scared.

But…I am not a Clow Card, nor is Ishiro. I have never been. Not even a Clow Card could carry the burdens he and I hold. I am not sure what I am…who I am. But I don't care, such information isn't needed anymore. But I still wonder…

We look like humans. Many humans have said that Ishiro and I look good together. We scorn their comments. We do not feel any human emotions, other than Pain. At least we don't. I know that he is what I am, that we are alike in some way. I consider myself as a guardian for the dark side. I will not let the Clow Cards fall into the hands of the Cardcaptors.

Is it true that good will always prevail? Well, I will prove them wrong.

My name is…is…I am not even sure anymore. I remember something tugging at the back of my mind. A word someone use to call me. Tomine. Dear sweet Tomine, come home now! But that isn't my name anymore, Papa. Don't call me that.

I didn't return home that night. I never did.

"Kirin! Kirin get down from there! You're going to fall!" Shotoku yelled at the girl on top of the monkey bars in the playground, grinning from ear to ear and shaking her hair about. Sakura and Syaoran stood behind him, stifling a giggle, hand in hand. "Kirin! Come on!" he repeated. The little green-haired girl laughed and shook her little finger at her brother.

"Now, now, Shotoku! I'm not that clumsy! Kirin won't fall! Shotoku doesn't have to worry! Right Sakura?" she said, directing her attention to the girl behind her brother. Sakura laughed and nodded heartily, turning away to avoid Shotoku's glare. "See Shotoku? Even Miss Sakura says so!" Shotoku glared at her. Kirin smiled uneasily. "Hehe…onii-san…I'll come down now…don't look at Kirin that way…you look like you're going to burst like a bubble…" she said, climbing down. When she got to the nearest bar, she jumped down and smiled cheerily. "I'm down now." She said as she tiptoed and patted her bigger brother's face. "Shotoku doesn't have to worry." The pernicious look on his face faded as he scooped her up and placed her on his shoulders. Then, he turned to the couple behind him.

"Okay, Miss Sakura, we can go back to the house now." He said. Sakura smiled.

"Just plain Sakura would be nice." She said. Shotoku nodded. Sakura led the way down the few streets and into a small country-style house in the middle of a grassy plain. Syaoran and Shotoku ended up as the ones to carry the luggage, unfortunately, while Kirin hopped off of her elder bigger brother's shoulders and took Sakura's hand. Sakura smiled. Syaoran scowled but had no choice to do otherwise.

This had been another of those trips, like the one he had taken last year, and the year before that, when they had met Shotoku and Kirin. Ever since then, the two had lived in Syaoran's house, being he had no bigger brother or father to ask unexplainable questions. And at least Shotoku could cook. The other classes envied them, saying that they never got trips. Well, Sakura surely liked it. It meant more time to be with Syaoran and her friends. Tomoyo and Eriol had been assigned to a different house, Shotoku and Kirin made up four, which was the limit of the number of people to one house. Tomoyo and smiled cheerfully and told them not to worry, she didn't mind. They hadn't been much of a burden, being that previous Clow Cards don't eat.

Sakura and Kirin entered the building first, followed by Syaoran, followed by Shotoku. A middle-aged woman greeted them, looking up from her dusting of her furniture. She smiled at the group.

"I see that you have arrived already? You're the students from the school in the city, am I correct?" they all nodded. Fortunately, Shotoku and Kirin had been allowed on the trip, being they paid themselves. Unfortunately, the money they used had to be worked for, and each year, it was no easy task for Shotoku to work while his little sister was alone at home. "Your names are Sakura, Syaoran, Shotoku and Kirin, am I correct?" the woman said, looking down at a piece of paper on the table. She had apparently written their names down when the school had called her. The four nodded. "So which one is which?"

"I'm Sakura."

"I'm Syaoran."

"Shotoku here."

"And me! Kirin!"

The woman smiled again, and Syaoran wondered if her jaws every got weary. "Well, I first want you children to meet my husband and my daughter." She said, as she bustled in to another room, the four bustled uncomfortably.

"I feel stupid…" Syaoran commented. Sakura nodded. Kirin grinned.

"I don't! I wonder if they have toys!" she exclaimed. Shotoku seemed to think.

"I wonder if their daughter is good-looking…" he mused. Syaoran elbowed him in the ribs.
"Hey, no slacking off." He reminded. Shotoku smiled and shrugged.

"Hey, I'm a human now, remember?" he said, causing both Sakura and Syaoran to burst into giggles. The woman came in shortly after, cutting off their fit of laughter. They stood as still as wood. Following her, was a man, and a pretty girl, who looked shy, as she was hiding behind her parents. The woman motioned to the man.

"This is my husband, you can call him Mr. Kimiura. And I would be Mrs. Kimiura." She said, then she motioned again, only to find that no one was standing there. Looking around, she pushed her daughter in front of her. The girl saw all four staring at her, and blushed. "And this is my daughter, Himika Kimiura. Greet them, Himika." She said. The girl raised a hand and waved shyly. Kirin grinned back and waved, causing a small smile to appear on the girl's face. Syaoran, Sakura and Shotoku smiled and bowed slightly. Then, the girl walked back into her room. Shotoku stared after her, and got another hit in the ribs. He winced while the elder boy smirked.

"Hey Shotoku, she seems your age…" Syaoran whispered. This time, it was his turn to wince, as Shotoku's elbow dug into his ribs. The couple didn't seem to notice. The man smiled.

"Then I guess I should show you your rooms." He said, leading them into the room in which he had come, only to find that it was a hallway. "I'm afraid that my house isn't a mansion. The girls will have to share a room with Himika, and the boys get their own room." He said. Sakura and Kirin smiled.

"It's okay! We don't mind!" Kirin exclaimed, grabbing her stuffed animal from her bag and rushing into the room. Sakura smiled and followed, taking her bags from Syaoran and thanking him, causing him to turn pink.

"Syaoran, you're turning into a cherry…Ow!" Shotoku said as he felt the back of a heavy baggage bag slam into his shin. Shotoku dropped his bags and winced. The man looked down at him.

"Um…Shotoku is it? Are you okay?" he asked. Shotoku got up slowly and limped into the room, nodding. Syaoran followed, thanking the man, smirking. Once the man closed the room, he heard a muffled groan. What he didn't see though, was Shotoku slamming a full bag into Syaoran's face.

"Such clueless fools." Ishiro said as he walked down the street. Just recently, he had told the family that had taken him in, that he would leave. He had nothing to bring with him, so he just walked out the door saying goodbye. He knew they had stared at him while he left, but didn't mind. At last, he would be rid of them. Halfway out of the village, his ally and friend Tomine had joined him. At least that's what he called her. No one else knew her name. She had always pretended to be mute in the presence of the humans, though they each knew that it was just an act to prevent suspicion. Tomine nodded, hands wrapped around her shoulders. Ishiro turned to her. "Are you cold?" he asked.

Ichiro was sixteen, in human years. He was the average height, not much taller, or much shorter. He had dark gray-blue eyes, and dark purple hair. The humans had commented how different he looked, but he hadn't minded them. Tomine looked quite similar, which made humans sometimes mistake them for brother and sister. She was shorter than Ichiro, though, being female. She had long purple hair, the color similar to her friend's, pulled back into what looked like a loop. She looked at the world through dull and narrowed dark blue-eyes. She was also sixteen, in their measurement of time.

She shook her head. "No." she relied. He didn't believe her, but he knew not to question her any further, so he shrugged and kept on walking. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt with a collar, and long pants. It was enough for the day, but too little for the night. He, on the other hand, had worn a thicker short-sleeved shirt and long pants. A jacket he had brought was tied around his waist. But then again, he was stronger than she was, and he never got cold. She was rubbing her arms. They looked like humans, they had worn human clothes, and acted human-like, but they weren't. It was all part of the same act.

"Are you sure?" he asked again. She nodded sternly.

"Yes." She replied. He shrugged.

"I don't believe you."

"You don't have to." All remained silent for a while, then Tomine stopped in her tracks when Ichiro turned to her and gave her his jacket. She looked at it. "I'm not cold."

"Take it. You can fool the world, but not me." he replied. She growled, and placed the clothing around her shoulders. Then, they set off on their way again, walking down the dark and simple road. They knew where they're going. Only one place did they have left would they journey to.

To the Cardcaptors.