Sakura at 18
A Card Captor Sakura fanfic
By Michael Hopcroft

Part 2: Be Prepared

The alarm clock woke Tomoyo from a sound sleep. She punched the button, got up, and began to prepare for the morning, conscious of her night's sleep a little more than usual. She had had one of those dreams again, and while the dream itself had been a very pleasurable one the thought of it afterwards was rather disturbing.

Tomoyo didn't have the kind of prophetic dreams Sakura did. Her dreams were the normal workings of her subconscious mind and her subconscious desires. In this case, those desires had once again involved Sakura. She had tried to avoid consciously fantasizing about being with her best friend, but her dream self knew no constraints in imagination or behavior.

What was weird, at least to Tomoyo, was that she never had that kind of dream about anyone else. Not boys or girls at school, nor teachers, not even the latest hot sex-symbolic pop idol or movie star. It was always Sakura.

It was the kind of dream she knew could never come true.. If there was one thing she had learned about her friend, it was that she was very, very straight. For Sakura, it would always be boys one boy in particular, of course, but apparently Sakura still daydreamed about hunky guys. Tomoyo thought that Syaoran would be quite a catch for ANY girl, and that Sakura was really lucky. Her thoughts then turned again, to her phone conversation with Sakura the previous night.

It would indeed be a grand party they would have for Sakura's birthday. Tomoyo had long been the enabler for Sakura and Syaoran, a bizarre role for someone who should be Syaoran's rival. She had said, long ago, that Sakura's happiness was her happiness, and she still meant it. For Tomoyo it had been a long process coming to terms with things: that her feelings for Sakura were far deeper than real friendship, that she would never really be interested in boys¡K. In school, Tomoyo never dared use the word "lesbian" to describe herself. In truth, she had never really had that kind of encounter with another girl. The girl she wanted most was, and would always be, out of reach and she knew it.

Sonomi Daidoji was getting ready for the trip to work when Tomoyo stepped into the kitchen. "Ohayo, daughter.", she said politely. "I'm sorry I missed you last night. How is your project coming?"

"The audition tape for film school? Fine. Thank you for offering to help with the tuition."

"When it comes to helping my daughter fulfill her dreams I'll do anything I can. Sakura's birthday is coming up, isn't it?"

"Hai! I told her we could use the house for her party. Didn't you tell me I could?"

"For Sakura-chan, of course. Tomoyo-chan, I've been meaning to ask you about that. What are your plans?"

Tomoyo stood puzzled. "Plans? Why to have a party for Sakura and her friends, of course. One she'll never forget."

"I mean long-term. When are you going to let go of her and find someone else?"

"Sakura-chan will always be my best friend!"

"That's not what I meant. I've been through this myself, remember? You've been nursing a broken heart for eight years. That can't be good for you. And I can't bear the thought of you pining for her the rest of your life."

Tomoyo shook her head. "I really am OK, mother. I know Sakura will never be mine, that she has someone she loves who loves her. And I'm OK with it. I want Sakura to be happy."

"And what about yourself? Do you want to be happy?"

"I am happy. I'm happy to see Sakura happy. That's why I'm looking forward to this party so much. She'll be positively glowing!"

"Because of Li-kun, not because of you.."

"Mother, there are two ways I could have dealt with this. One was to become bitter and reject her, the other was to help her and accept whatever happened. I chose to take the other path, and I have no regrets. Sakura doesn't even know what I really feel for her, and I can't will her to love me."

Sonomi shook her head. "Then you're a wiser woman than I am, Tomoyo. I have never been able to let go of Nadeshiko, never been able to accept that she was happy. And I hated Kinomoto-san for taking her away from me. Nadeshiko never knew how I loved her so much. Why should I have expected any other result?"

"Won't you make peace with Kinomoto-san? For Sakura's sake, if nothing else?"

"I can't¡K."

"You're right, Mother. I am the wiser of us."

Lunchtime at Seijou High was when the girls usually got together. Although they had all managed to get in the same school together, Sakura and Tomoyo had ended up in one track with Naoko and Chiharu in another. That didn't stop them from seeing each other almost every day that is when they weren't having lunch with the various boys in their lives.

Today, however, Syaoran was in the teacher's office for lunch. Chiharu had no idea where Yamazaki had run off to.

"So, Sakura-chan", said Naoko, "Tell me about your party."

Sakura shrugged. "Ask Tomoyo-chan, she's planning it."

"Well," Tomoyo said, "it's going to be at my house. It's a pretty big place, and we'll have plenty of room for all sorts of things. I'll get lots of food from a caterer, and I'll be making a couple of chocolate cakes. There should even be room to dance."

"What if it runs late?" asked Chiharu.

"No problem. I've got some guest rooms set aside so anyone who needs to can stay until morning."

Sakura sweatdropped on hearing this. Guest rooms also meant there would be spaces where a couple could go and remain completely unobserved assuming Tomoyo hadn't wired the whole place for video. Now she was wondering whether the guest of honor would be permitted to attend she would have to leave last of all, and if there were guest rooms Touya might well do everything in his power to block her going. "Maybe guestrooms aren't such a good idea¡K" she finally stammered out. "I mean, Oniichan might object¡K."

"It's OK, Sakura-chan. You don't need a chaperone anymore you're going to be an adult now." Tomoyo suppressed the urge to wink knowingly, because it would make Sakura even more nervous.

"I think it's a lovely idea," said Naoko. "We all trust our boyfriends."

"Of course I trust Syaoran! I know he'd never take unfair advantage of me!" Sakura's crimson face displayed what Tomoyo could plainly see was her true thoughts.

"Yes, but will you take advantage of him?" insinuated Naoko slyly. "I know you must be curious what it'll be like unless, of course, you already know and haven't told any of your friends."

Sakura's face was indistinguishable from a burning coal.

'Naoko-chan!" Chiharu scolded. "Respect their privacy, please! What they do when they're alone is their business!"

Naoko settled back, picked up a pickle in her chopsticks and chuckled softly to herself. This would make all the better material for the book she would someday write about her school days.

"Why did you just sneeze, Li-kun?" asked the headmaster.

Syaoran would rather not have had to eat lunch with the headmaster, but this time he had little choice. The excuse was a planning meeting for the Spring Festival, but he had dark suspicions about the headmaster's real motives. "Nothing.", he said. "Just an allergy."

"So tell me, you will get Kinomoto-san's help on this?"

"Ask Daidouji-san. She's class leader. I have a lot of pull with Saku with Kinomoto-san, but I don't know what I could say that would convince her to put on a weird costume and dance around on stage."

Class resumed and the group returned to their classes. Syaoran took his customary seat behind Sakura. "Darn that headmaster.", he said to her. "Why does he think that way?"

"You should have been with us", Sakura replied. "We were discussing something important."

"Your birthday?"

"Uh-huh. We're doing something."

"We? I thought¡K.."

"Tomoyo-chan is having a party."

"Oh. Darn.", Syaoran muttered.

They were silent for a moment as the sound of Syaoran's voice sunk in. Sakura looked back at him with sudden concern. "Oh, Syaoran! I didn't know you wanted to do something! I could have told Tomoyo not to do it! Gomen nasai!"

"It's all right. Have fun with your friends."

"You're coming too, you know!" chided Sakura. "There's no point if you don't! We're all counting on you being there!"

"I'm no good at parties.", Syaoran complained.

"You'll be fine! If I know Tomoyo-chan, she'll give us plenty of time together. Please?"

A whack from the front of the room made Sakura turn around. She was surprised to see their teacher with a ruler in his hand, looking very unhappy. "Kinomoto-san! Li-san! The whole class is watching you!"

They looked around to see that they did indeed have the undivided attention of the entire class.

"Obviously," the teacher said, "You have something important to work out. So go stand in the hall!"

Sakura and Syaoran got up, picked up their buckets, and stepped outside.

'I'm sorry I got you into this.", Sakura said as they stood in the hall.

"No, it's my fault for raising my voice."

"Should I tell Tomoyo to cancel the party, Syaoran-kun? I will if you want me to."

Syaoran stood dumbfounded. "You'd do that?"

"Of course. I'd rather spend my birthday with you than anywhere else on Earth."

"Then I'll go to your party. But promise me you'll see a movie with me the next night?"

"Of course. I'll go wherever you want me to. Arigato, Syaoran-kun."

"For you, Sakura."

TO BE CONTINUED