My Testimony






Hello my name is Sandy (Big Sis).
My testimony,is long, but I made
many bad choices in my life.
Many of them caused my path to
Christ to be long and hard!!!




I was brought up In the
Church of the Nazarene.
My mother was a good christian
lady.Dad was a alcoholic,
mom made sure us six
children were in church,
every time the door was
open.




As very young children we
learned to serve the Lord.
When we became teenagers
our feet were pretty well
planted in the ways of
the Lord. And dad became
a christian.




But as we got older and
started making our own
decisions in life, I made
some very poor ones!!!
I married my first husband
at age twenty on a hundred
dollar bet a man I had only
met eight days before we
were married.




I found out later
that he had just gotten out
of prison,and was a alcoholic,
I tried hard to make my marriage
work,but two sons later the
marriage came to a end.




My husband was out with another
lady and hit a semi truck headon
and killed the three teenagers  
who were in the car with him.
He was Intoxicated,and loss
control of his vehicle.My husband
was the only one in his vehicle
that lived but he lost a leg and
had several severe injurys which kept him
hospitalized for almost 3 months
and then many months of intensive
physical theraphy.




We tried again to make things
work,I ended up pregnant for my third son.
My husband was back to drinking,and
running around again.When our third son was born,
the baby was very ill.He had
water on his brain, a whole in
his back where there was
no spine,a club foot,he was
born breach and had spinal
bifida.He died 14 hours
later.My husband and I
separated not long after
his death.




I could take no more
of his drinking!!!I blamed
God for taking my young son
and I started slowly drifting
away from church and God.I
pulled into a shell,and it
took many years to see how
I was destroying my life.




I remarried, another drunk,
got pregnant had another
son. This marriage did not
come close to working out,I
left,him after 3 years of marriage
and left my three year old son with him.




I already had the other,two boys to raise
and my husband refused to let me
leave with his and my son.It was
the hardest thing I thought I
would ever have to do leaving
one of my babies behind.




But I packed up took
my two other boys and tried to
start a new life.But failure was
all I reached.Failure followed me every
where I went I ran and ran but
never could hide.I had quit going
to church, quit praying and was
just running away from life!!!

Right after I had
left my son and my second husband
my mother passed away at 53 years
of age,to cancer.




Well that was it I
hated God then.I blamed Him for
all the things wrong in my life. I
turned to drugs and alcohol,and
then I did not have to face or
feel the horrible pain that
engulfed my inner self. 




I stayed so drunk that
I did not have to face the inner
pain that tore away at the heart
inside of me.I lived drunk for the
next ten years of my life i was broken
ruined.I could go no further down
in the pit of sin.I hated life,my
self,and everyone else.




One Nov night about 15 years
ago now,I left my home to go to
Maddens bar downtown. I began
drinking my troubles away!!!I set
there all day I guess,I don't
really know, but at some point I
left the bar,and when I woke up
it was the the next morning.




I woke up in a rest
area,along Interstate 75,in my car.
I had apparently stopped at a
McDonalds for there was a bag
of food on the seat next to me.
I had wet my pants was setting
in my own vomit,don't know how
I got there,or when I left
the bar .




But one thing I do
know,Is when I awoke that
morning I looked up to the
heavens and I cried Lord forgive
me and come back into my life,
and my heart,cleanse me and
forgive me my sins.






God reached down with
His loving hand and picked me
up out of the gutter of sin, I
was in. He took the garbage
that I had turned my life into
and He made It into something
beautiful.




He gave me a new
life In Christ Jesus.He took
my drugs and alcohol away
that Nov.morning.He forgave
me my sins and forgave me the
choices I had made In my life.
Since that day God has been the
one I choose to serve.




He has gave me back my life.
My three year old son I left
behind.My other two sons
could not believe the change
God had made in me.They
found a new mom.One who went to
sleep in anger and hate but woke
up in a life surrounded with love.
Changed by the love of a almighty God.




God has supplied me
with a loving caring,
compassionate christian,
husband. Who I have been
with,for 14 years now.
God has blessed my
life,and made me a new
person in Him.




The choices we make are our
own.If you are taking the road
I took,turn back.God Is waiting
with open arms for you to come
home.He was waiting for me,and
now He's waiting for you.It's your
choice,please make the right
one!!!Choose the one who died for
you,JESUS!!!!




I finally made the
right chioce.I am so glad that
God never let go of me or gave up
on me!!!God is not through with
me yet!!!I'm so glad He's working
in my life,and now every day Is a
great day in the Lord.




I can turn to Him In
all things.I praise Him and give Him
glory for His patience and grace.
His love and forgiveness.Now
I can say I'm a sinner saved by the
grace of God. The greatest gift of
all and Its free to any who ask!!!

© Sandra Miller/BigSis/1996-2004










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