Is My Grief Normal?
When grieving for the loss of a child, parents often think they're not normal, as they are continually told that they should be over it, they can have another, etc. The following list, taken from RTS Bereavement Services, goes through some of the things grieving people go through. As time goes on, parents will find they are answering yes to more and more of the questions. However, if you are not satisfied with your answers or are feeling seriously depressed or suicidle, I urge you to seek help. Angel Pages
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Am I Grieving Normally?
- Am I able to laugh without feeling guilty?
- Do I pay attention to my personal appearance? (hair, clothes, etc.)
- Do I enjoy being out with my friends for an evening?
- Am I feeling pleasure in sexual experiences?
- Am I able to sit quietly by myself and think of things other than the loss?
- Do I take an interest in current events and news? (newspaper, radio, etc.)
- Do I feel I can effectively parent my surviving children?
- Am I able to do the daily tasks I'm used to performing? (housework, cooking, etc.)
- Do I look forward to special events, outings, trips?
- Am I involved in activities I was involved in before the loss? (volunteer work, sports, etc.)
- Can I talk about the loss without showing strong emotion? (sadness, anger, jealousy...)
- Do I feel like the fog has lifted?
- Do I pay attention to my surroundings? (food, beautiful scenery, etc.)
- Am I able to get a good nights sleep and awaken feeling rested?
- Am I able to concentrate on work and conversation?
- Am I less forgetful and better able to think clearly?
- Can I recall past events?
- Do I feel stronger and more in control? (less like an open wound, better able to cope with comments by others, crises, etc.)
- Do I feel there is a meaning to my life?
- Can I look back at what happened and feel that something good came out of the tragedy?
What is Normal Grieving?
- feeling that the loss is not real, that it didn't really happen.
- feeling guilty.
- being angry at others or oneself.
- feeling restless, looking for activity but finding it hard to concentrate.
- crying unexpectedly.
- feeling an intense preoccupation with the life of the deceased.
- having an empty feeling.
- experiencing tightness in the throat or heaviness in the chest.
- feeling intense anger at the loved one for leaving.
- having mood swings.
- feeling remorse for things that happened or didn't happen in the relationship with the deceased.
- sensing the loved one's presence, like finding yourself expecting to hear or see them.
- wandering aimlessly, forgetting what you were doing, not finishing something.
- talking out loud to the deceased.
- experiencing difficulty with sleeping, frequently dreaming of the loved one.
- assuming mannerisms or traits of the loved one.
- feeling the need to tell and retell and remember things about the person.
