7.4.93
Have just taken a shower, as usual and found a set of scratch marks across the side of my ribs. Must have happened in games lesson this afternoon. As we were finishing up, Wayne's class came past, having just finished football. I waved at him, but I don't think he noticed. Not sure wether I can ask him out, as he's older than me by 2 years. He's still gorgeous, though!
21.4.93
Scratches still here, only now they've spread to the rest of my back and the back of one leg. So far I've managed to hide them from my Mum, she'd freak out.
30.4.93
The marks seem to be darkening. I've tried scrubbing them in the shower to get them to go away, but they have just got darker and not itch, so I have given up. Been skipping games lessons, there goes my best grade. Netball team practice too. I can't wear a gym skirt with this rash, I'm really embarrased. Waynes started going out with Sara now, just to add to problems. He hasn't asked where I am, or anything.
17.5.93
School sent a letter home today, mum really cross, she probably thinks I'm doing drugs or smoking or something. I have experimented in trying to cut the marks off. A friend at school mentioned he knew a way to remove permanent tattoos. Maybe I can pluck up courage. They're starting to grow odd dark hairs now, it's disgusting. I cut them off when I find them. The rah itches all the time. My beautiful fingernails keep breaking and seem to be getting thicker. Humiliations galore when I arrived at school with gloves on to hide them…
23.5.93
Mum gave me the talk about the birds and the bees this morning. As if I didn't know . I've had to tell her that wearing loads of concealer on your face is a new trend: the marks are beginning to spread up my neck. They seem to be smaller there, though. A good thing about this is that where the marks are, my skin is getting tanned. I would love to show that to Janet 'I-go-to-Florida-twice-a-year-because-I-can Schumman, only I'm still in frump city when it comes to clothing, to try and hide everything.
25.5.93
I was brave this evening and commandeered the bathroom for a whole half hour to look at them in the mirror. I've found that there's none on my stomach or on the inside of my legs or arms. Thankfully they seem to not like the centre of my face either. My concealer bill is getting quite high. Wayne's now dumped Sara. I would have had a chance, save for these…
Maybe it's just me, but I seem to have a particular smell. That sounds disgusting and it is. I can smell other people from around a corner. It helps me avoid them.
6.6.93
I plucked up courage to book a doctors appointment for next week. I've been looking back through my diary and realised it's been two months. Two months and my life has slipped into hiding and concealer - ville. Chances of being picked for the netball teams new season - nil. Chances of going out with the boy of my dreams - gone. It's been the longest two months of my life.
12.6.93
Doctors appointment this morning. He was OK about it and told me it was normal at puberty to experience things that may frighten me. He doesn't know the half of it.
21.6.93
Got picked on by the girls at school today, it was bullying really, led by Janet, as usual. Only this time I found I could stand up to her. To my own amazement I slapped her across the face. Unfortunately I left three neat red scratch marks. She, of course, went wailing to the nurse, leaving me stood wondering about my own strength. Headmasters office in the afternoon, followed by a 'don't do it again' speech from Miss Adler.
Another thing, my teeth. They're changing shape. I currently have several mouth ulcers where they've rubbed up against my mouth. As if hairs and marks weren't enough to cope with. My eyes are changing too.. they're not brown anymore, more of a dark green.
30.6.93
After the headmasters office thing last week, I have a new found confidence in going to school. Still not going back to games though.
Janet avoids me now, which is great. I have taken to stalking her round the school buildings during break time, just to make sure she doesn't pick on anyone else, of course. End of term soon, thank god. I can spend summer alone.
4.7.93
Mum showed me some pictures of Grandma today. She dies before I was born and I'd never seen her before. She was beautiful. There where only a handful of photographs, done in the soft focus look of the 1920's. One in particular showed her short ginger hair combed back, her pale eyes and impossibly creamy skin. Her eyes where pale green, just like mine are becoming. I hope I look as good as she did when I get older.
14.7.93
So much has happened in the last 10 days! To start at the beginning, Wayne asked me out!! I didn't know what to say at first, I was about to slink off home after spending a day hiding in the main library. Of course I said yes. We went on our first date a few nights ago. I was so nervous. Mum had bought me a new short skirt for the occasion and at first I couldn't wear it for fear of showing off the dark marks.
She cajoled me into showing her what it looked like, when I told her about the marks, she was really cool about them. She told me not to worry, helped me get ready for my first date and wished me good luck.
The date was wonderful. He took me out to the pictures and we went out for a burger afterwards. He didn't even mind about the marks and kissed me goodnight! Been on cloud nine ever since.
20.7.93
I have had to try and relearn how to write and type as my fingers seem to be clumsy and awkward. Mum says I'll get used to it, soon.
There's less itching now. The marks have defined edges instead of fuzzy ones. There still seems to be a thin coating of short hair forming all over. The marks have black hairs and my back seems to be developing ginger ones. Luckily my stomach ones are few and are white. Still not sure about this though.
My feet have been getting painful in the last few days. They're changing as well, more muscle and longer toes. I can run faster, which for a once bullied teenage girl, is a blessing. Time for new shoes, too. Wonder if mum would contribute to those black boots I saw in the window of the shoe shop?
31.7.93
The last few days I have been on painkillers. The base of my spine is very painful, almost bruised. I seem to have a sore lump there. Still going out with Wayne. Went to dinner last night. Not for a burger, but a proper dinner in a posh restaurant. I couldn't sit still, though, which ruined it slightly.
4.8.93
Sore lump now itches maddeningly. I've borrowed some camomile lotion of mum, but that only stops it for a short while.
15.8.93
Found out today that Wayne was going out with Janet and me at the same time. I stayed at home all day and cried, even mum didn't bother me about it. Resolved never to speak to either of them again.
1.9.93
More hair appearing day by day. Have taken to washing with shampoo instead of soap. Lump at the base of my spine is lengthening although at the moment it is uncomfortable as I can only sit on it and not move it aside. The hair on my head has been gradually changing to a rich brown with ginger highlights, I'm rather pleased with it. My voice has got deeper too. I listened to an old recording of me and only recognised it through remembering what I said.
Back to school soon. Not looking forward to it.
14.9.93
Janet has been off school since the start of term. Can't wait to see her when she finally comes in. In her absence, Wayne has broken up with her. Her friends are trying to quell the nasty rumours about her that he's probably started.
1.10.93
Decided to get my ear pierced today! Had the top of the lobe done and have put a silver loop in it. Surprised at mum's reaction, she gave me a box with some of her old jewellery in it. Found some ear cuffs in there! Didn't view those as mum's thing. Going to wear one of her ear cuffs when the lobe heals up a bit more.
30.10.93
I've reviewed the last few weeks, nothings hurt, nothings gone wrong, in fact I've been feeling quite pleased with myself. John, from my History class, asked me out to the Halloween dinner dance tomorrow night and I said yes.
Tried my outfit on this evening and almost didn't recognise myself in the mirror. Shoulder length ginger brown hair, pale green eyes, short cream velvet fur, delicate black stripes along the sides of my neck, wearing the purple long velvet evening gown that had cost me nearly a months wages. My ginger stripy tail (now fully grown) was dressed with a purple ribbon, along with matching shoes and a corsage. Mum was so proud she was almost in tears.
31.10.93
The evening was wonderful, even Janet - cow that she is - couldn't bother me. In fact she was more afraid of me, than I of her.
John was a perfect gentleman and has asked me to go out with him. I know I'll say yes, but I haven't told him yet!