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OPTIONS: Tel: (604) 596-4321 , Fax (604) 572-7413, Email: info@options.bc.ca, Mail or drop in : 6846 King George Hwy. Surrey BC, V3W 4Z9

APPENDIX D





Preventing Bullying



As soon as children begin to interact with others, we can begin to teach them not to be bullies and not to be bullied. We can give them words for their feelings, limit and change their behaviour and teach them better ways to express their feelings and wishes. Children do not learn to solve these kinds of problems and get along by themselves. We need to teach them.



When preschoolers begin to call people names or use unkind words, intervene immediately and consistently. In Kindergarten children learn the power of exclusion. We begin to hear things like, "She's not my friend and she can't come to my party." Respond with, "You don't have to be friends with her today, but it's not all right to make her feel bad by telling her she can't come to your party."



In the early elementary grades, cliques and little groups develop which can be quite exclusionary and cruel. Children need to hear clearly from us, "It's not all right to treat other people this way. How do you think she feels being told she can't play with you? Kids don't have to play with everyone or even like everyone, but they can't be cruel about excluding others.



Boys who are physically small or weak are more prone to victimization. Making fun, picking on and other forms of bullying need to be identified in their earliest stages. The message needs to be crystal clear: This is not okay. Think about how he must feel. How could you include him and let other kids know its not all right to treat others this way?



Children who are not bullies or victims have a powerful role to play in shaping the behaviour of other children. Teach your children to speak up on behalf of children being bullied. "Don't treat her that way, it's not nice." "Hitting is not a good way to solve problems, let's find a teacher and talk about what happened."



1. Talk to your child, talk to his or her teachers and administrators. Keep in mind that a bully will try to deny or minimize his or her wrong-doing.



2. Make it clear to your child that you will not tolerate this kind of behaviour, and discuss with your child the negative impact bullying has on the victims. Do not accept explanations that "it was all in fun."



3. Arrange for an effective, non-violent consequence, which is in proportion with the severity of your child's actions, and his or her age and stage of development. Corporal/violent punishment carries the message that "might is right."



4. Increase your supervision of your child's activities and whereabouts and who they are associating with. Spend time with your child and set reasonable rules for their activities and curfews.



5. Co-operate with the school in modifying your child's aggressive behaviour. Frequent communication with teachers and/or administrators is important to find out how your child is doing in changing his or her behaviour.



6. Praise the efforts your child makes toward non-violent and responsible behaviour, as well as for following home and school rules. Keep praising any efforts the child makes.



7. If your child is viewing violent television shows, including cartoons, and is playing violent video games, this will increase violent and aggressive behaviour. Change family and child's viewing and play patterns to non-violent ones.



8. Make sure that your child is not seeing violence between members of his or her family. Modelling of aggressive behaviour at home can lead to violence by the child against others at school and in later life.



9. Seek help from a school psychologist, OPTIONS, a social worker, Multilingual Help Line (604) 596-4357, or school teacher/principal if you would like support in working with your child.

APPENDIX E





Tips for Parents



1. What Can Parents Do if Their Children are Being Bullied?



i) Ask the child directly. Often children do not wish to tell their parents due to shame and embarrassment, or fear that bullies will retaliate if they tell. Look for signs such as: fear of going to school, lack of friends, missing belongings and torn clothing, and increased fearfulness and anxiety.



ii) Work with the school immediately to make sure your child is safe, that effective consequences are applied toward the bully and that monitoring at school is adequate. Advocate for involvement of the bully's parents. If the bullying is happening on the way to and from school, arrange for the child to get to school with older, supportive children, or take him or her until other interventions can take place.



iii) If your child is timid and lacks friends, try to arrange for your child to participate in positive social groups which meet his or her interests. Developing your child's special skills and confidence in the context of a positive social group can be very helpful.



iv) Suggest that the school implement a comprehensive anti-bullying program. A home and school association meeting to discuss and support such an initiative can be helpful.



If you learn your child is being bullied, you may immediately want to protect your child and confront the aggressor. You may feel embarrassed and want your child to toughen up, to get in there and fight back. You may feel helpless yourself. None of these responses are helpful.



Get as much information as you can about what has happened. Avoid blaming anyone, including the bullying child or children. Look at your own child's behaviour and style of interacting. Ask yourself what you know about your child and how you can turn the immediate situation around.



If you are going to get in touch with the parents of a bullying child, remember that they will probably feel defensive. Keep in mind that your goal is to have a safe and nurturing environment for all of the children, not to escalate an already difficult situation. (For tips on talking to parents of bullies, see The Safe Child Book.)



2. For your own children, there are several steps you can take.



• discuss alternatives to responding to bullies.

• don't react, walk away, get help if pursued

• agree with the bully, saying "You're right." and walking away.

• be assertive.



3. Role-play - just as in prevention of child abuse, role-play is what makes the skills real. Actually walk through situations and have your child practice different responses. Discuss prevention techniques such as staying with other kids. Do not get involved with bullies in .any kind of interchange. Don't take it personally, it's really the bullies problems that are causing the situation, not you.



4. What to do if Your Child is Aggressive or Bullies Others?



Take the problem seriously. Children and youth who bully others often get into serious trouble in later life, and may receive criminal convictions. They may have continuing trouble in their relationships with others. Here are some things you can do to turn the situation around.



5. What every parent doesn't want to hear - your child is behaving like a bully.



Your first response will probably be defensive. Disarm the situation and buy yourself some time to process what's being said. For example, "Instead of labelling my child, please tell me what happened." Make yourself really listen. Remember that this discussion is ultimately about the well-being of your child, regardless of how its being framed.



Even if your child is behaving aggressively or acting like a bully, remember that this behaviour is probably coming from your child's feelings of vulnerability. You need to look for what is going on in your child's interactions with others and what is going on internally, causing your child to behave that way.



In talking with your child, DO NOT BLAME. Do not get into a discussion about the "whys" of what happened. Your discussion should focus on several key points:



• Bullying is not acceptable in our family or in society.

• If you are feeling frustrated or angry or aggressive, here are some things you can do.

• Remember to role-play, act out the new behaviours.

• Ask, how can I help you with this? Who could you go to in school if you see yourself getting into this type of situation again?

• Specify concretely the consequences if the aggression or bullying continue.

• You want to stop the behaviour, understand your child's feelings, then teach and reward more appropriate behaviour.





For more information on bullying, links to resources

and suggested readings, visit our website at



https://www.angelfire.com/bc2/bullying



Check the 'Resources' and 'Links' section.









APPENDIX F



BULLYING - Website Links



URL: www.indigent.unisa.edu.au/bullying/



URL: www.scre.au.uk/bully/bother.html



URL: www.ianr.unl.edu/pubsNebFacts/nf308.htm



URL: www.educate.co.uk/bullsug.htm



URL: www.childline.org.uk/bullying/html



URL: www.nobully.org.nz/advicek.htm



URL: www.cary-memorial.lib.me.us/bullying.htm



URL: newciv.org/GIB/BI/BI-9.HTML



ABC - Anti Bullying Campaign. WHAT IS BULLYING?

URL: www.weymouth.gov.uk/bully.htm



URL: its-online.com/archive/tbully.html



www./cs.gov.bc.ca/cp/







APPENDIX G





FOCUS ON BULLYING - Recommended Resources

(Available for loan at the B.C. Safe School Centre)



AUTHORS: C. Garrity, K. Jens, W. Porter, N. Sager, C. Short-Camilli (1996)

PUBLISHER: Sopris West, 1140 Boston Avenue, Longmont, Colorado, 80501

(Phone: 303-651-2829)

ISBN: 0-944584-99-3



AUTHORS: G. Lajoie, A. McLellan, C. Seddon (1997)

PUBLISHER: Bully B'ware Productions, 1421 King Albert Ave., Coquitlam, B.C. V3J 1Y3

(604-936-8000 or 1 (888) 55BULLY), e-mail: bully@direct.ca



AUTHOR: John H. Hoover and Ronald Oliver (1996)

PUBLISHER: National Educational Service, Bloomington, Indiana

ISBN: 1-879639-44-0



AUTHOR: Kim Zarzour (1994)

PUBLISHER: HarperCollins Publishers Ltd., #2900-Hazelton Lanes, 55 Avenue Rd., Toronto, Ontario, M5R 3L2

ISBN: 0-00-637923-0



Video series for five age groups (lower elementary, upper elementary, middle school 1 and 2, high school) with videos in four areas: coping with criticism, teasing, bullying and anger.

James Stanfield Company, Inc., P.O. Box 41056, Santa Barbara, CA, 93140, USA

Phone: 1-800-421-6534, Fax: (805) 897-1187, Internet: www.stanfield.com

e-mail: stanfield@stanfield.com



AUTHOR: Rosemary Stones (1993)

PUBLISHER: Pembroke Publishers Ltd., 538 Hood Road, Marckham, ON L3R 3K9

ISBN: 1-55138-017-X



AUTHOR: Terrence Webster-Doyle

PUBLISHER: Atrium Society Publications, P.O. Box 816, Middlebury, VT, 05753,

(800) 848-6021 or (802) 388-0922

ISBN: 0-942941-22-5 (paperback), 0-942941-23-3 (hardcover)



This video uses muppet characters to show children how to deal with anger and aggression



These four articles include: Take a Bully By the Horns!; The Peer Helping Strategy for Dropout Prevention; A Generation Adrift; Attachment to Peers and Delinquent Behaviour







APPENDIX H





References:



Atlas, R., and Pepler, D. (1997) Observations of bullying in the classroom. LaMarch Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution, York University, Submitted for Publication.



Bently, K. M., and Li. A. (1995) "Bully and victim problems in elementary schools and students' beliefs about aggression. Canadian Journal of School Psychology: 11, 153-165.



Besag, V. E. (1989) Bullies and victims in schools. A guide to understanding and management. England: Open University Press.



Boulton, M. J. and Underwood, K. (1992) "Bully/victim problems among middle school children." British Journal of Educational Psychology: 62, 73-87.



Charach, A., Pepler, D., and Ziegler, S. (1995). "Bullying at School: A Canadian Perspective." Education Canada, 35, 12-18.



Craig, W. (1997). "The relationship among aggression types, depression, and anxiety in bullies, victims, and bully/victims." Personality and Individual Differences. (In press).



Craig, W., and Pepler, D. (1997). Naturalistic observation of bullying and victimization on the playground. LaMarch Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution. York University. Unpublished report.



Craig, W. M., and Pepler, D.J. (1995) "Aggression and victimization: Are they related?" Paper presented at the Biennial Meeting of the Society for Research on Child Development, Indianapolis, March, 1995.

Cunningham, C. B. (1997). The effects of primary division, student-mediated conflict resolution programs on playground aggression. Department of Psychology, Chedole-McMaster Hospitals, Hamilton, Ontario, L8N 3Z5.



Farrington, D. P. (1993). "Understanding and preventing bullying." In M. tonry (ed.), Crime and Justice, 17, Chicago, University of Chicago Press.



Fine, E. S., Laccy, A., and Baer, J. (1995) Children as Peacemakers. Portsmouth, N.H.: Heinemann.



Garfalo, J., Seigel, L., and Laub, M. (1987) "School-related victimization among adolescents: An Analysis of National Crime Survey narratives. Journal of Quantitative Criminology, 3, 321-337.



Huesmann, L. R., Lagerspetz, K., and Eron, L.D. (1984) "Intervening variables in the TV vilence-aggression relation: Evidence from two countries." Development Psychology, 20, 746-775.



Lowenstein, L., (1978) "Who is the bully?" Bulletin of the British Psychological society, 31, 147-149.



Maines, B., and Robinson, G. (1992). The No Blame Approach. Britol. Lame Duck Publishing.



McMaster, L., Connolly, J., Craig, W., and Pepler, D. (1997). "Sexual harassment and dating violence among early adolescents." Paper presented at the Biennial Meetings of the Society for Research in Child Development, Washington, D.C., March 1997.



Murphy, H. A., Hutchinson, J. M. and Baily, J. S. (1983). "Behaviour school psychology goes outdoors." The effect of organized games on playground aggression." Journal of Applied Behaviour Analyses, 16, 29-35.



Nearly, A., and Joseph, S. (1994). "Peer victimization and its relationship to self-concept and depression among schoolgirls." Personality and Individual Differences, 16, 183-186.



Olweus, D. (1993) Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do. Oxford: Blackwell.



Olweus, D. (1991). "Bully/victim problems among school children: Some basic facts and effects of a school-based intervention program." In D. Pepler and K. Rubin (eds.). The Development and Treatment of Childhood Aggressin. Hillsdale, 411-448.



Olweus, D. (1987). "School-yard bullying - Grounds for intervention." School Safety, 6, 4-11.



O'Moore, A.M. (1986). "Bullying in Britain and Ireland: An Overview." In E. Roland and E. Munthe (eds.), Bullying: an International Perspective. London: David Fulton, 3-21.



Patterson, G.R. (1986). "The contribution of siblings to training for fighting: A Microsocial analysis." In D. Olweus, J. Bloke and M. Radke Yarrow (eds.), Development of antisocial and prosocial behaviour: Research, Theories, and Issues. New York: Academic Press.



Pepler, D.J., Craig, W. M., Ziegler, S., and Charach, A. (1993). "A school-based anti-bullying intervention: Preliminary evaluation." In D. Tattuym (ed.), Understanding and managing bullying. Oxford: Heinemann Books, 76-91.

Pepler, D. J., Craig, W., Ziegler, S., and Charach, A. (1994). "An Evaluation of an Anti-Bullying Intervention in Toronto Schools. "Canadian Journal of Community Mental Health," 13, 95-110.



Pepler, D. J., Craig, W., Atlas, R., O'Connell, P., Smith, C., and Sedigdeilami, F. (1996). "Anti-Bullying Interventions in Schools. A Systemic Evaluation." symposium presented at the University of Waterloo Conference on Child Development, May 1996.



Pepler, D. J., Craig, W., O'Connell, P., Connonly, J., Atlas, r., Sidigdeilami, F., Smith, C., and Kent, D. (1997). "Prevalence of bullying and victimization among Canadian elementary and middle school children." Manuscript in preparation.



Pepler, D. J., and Craig, w. (1997), "Bullying: Research and Interventions." Youth Update. Publication of the Institute for the Study of Antisocial Youth.



Pikas, A. (1989). "the common cern method for the treatment of mobbing." In e. Roland and E. Munthe (eds.) Bullying. An International Perspective. London: David Fulton, 91-104.



Roland, E. (1989). "Bullying: The Scandinavian research tradition." In d. Tattum and D. Lane (eds.), Bullying in Schools. Stoke-on-Trent: Trentam, 21-52.



Salmivalli, C., Lagerspetz, K., Bjorkqvist, K., Osterman, K., and Kaukiainen, A. (1996). "Bullying as a group process: participant roles and their relations to social status within the group." Aggressive Behaviour, 22, 1-15.



Slee, P. (1995). "Peer victimization and its relationship to depression among Australian primary school students." Personality and Individual Differences, 18. 57-62.

Smith, P. K. and Sharpe, S. (1994). Tackling Bullying in Your School: A Practical Handbook for Teachers. London: Routledge.



Stephenson, P., and Smith, D. (1989). "Bullying in two English comprehensive schools." "In E. Roland and E. Munthe (eds.), Bullying: An International Perspective. London: Fulton.



Straus, M. A., Gelles, R. J., and Steinmetz, S. K. (1981) Behind closed Doors: Violence in the American Family. Garden City, N. Y.: Anchor Books.



Tattum D. (1982) Disruptive Behaviour in Schools. John Wiley.











































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