Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

The Haha Page (issue #2)

church bulletin misprints

(thanks to Christi for these)
  1. The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
  2. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of this church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
  3. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they can be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.
  4. Tonight's Sermon: What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  5. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
  6. The Diet Club will meet Thursday night at 7:30 p. m. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
  7. The low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p. m. Please use the back door.
  8. Ushers will eat latecomers.
  9. Would the congregation kindly remember that the box marked 'For the Sick' is for financial contributions only.
  10. Mr. Bradford was elected and has accepted the office of head deacon. We could not get a better man
  11. Hymn No. 58 - 'Gold Will Take Care of You.'
  12. The maintenance of the church graveyard is becoming increasingly costly. It would be a great help if parishioners would do their best to tend their own graves.
  13. The Ladies Society will be selling their new cookbook at the church supper this Wednesday night. The proceeds will help purchase a stomach pump for our community hospital.
  14. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  15. 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  16. The sermon this morning: GOSSIP . . . THE SPEAKING OF EVIL. The closing song: I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY
  17. The sermon this morning: CONTEMPORARY ISSUES #3 . . . EUTHANASIA The closing song: TAKE MY LIFE
  18. The sermon this morning: PREDESTINATION . . . WHAT ABOUT HELL? The closing song: I'LL GO WHERE YOU WANT ME TO GO
  19. Today...Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course. 8 p. m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
  20. The Gospel according to Luck
  21. The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday, "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".

back to the main page!