thought

Vader: "I hate sand. It's rough, and it gets up my buttcrack. It's not smooth, like you."
Technician 1: "Vader's putting the moves on the protocol droid again.
Technician 2: "Gonna be a long night."
Vader: "Tatooine has a lot of nasty sand, and those dirty sandpeople live there. Blow it up."
Technician 1: "Lord Vader, the Emperor said no more blowing up planets."
Vader: "He's always holding me back! He's jealous of me!"
Technician 2: "Of course he is, Lord Vader."
Vader: "Blow up Tatooine."
Technician 1: "But sir!"
Vader: "Pshh. Talk to the force choke."
Technician 1: "Gakk"
Technician 2: "Blowing up Tatooine, sir."
*boom*
Vader: "That was boss."
Technician 2: "Boss it was, Lord Vader."
Vader: "Get the Queen of Naboo on the commscreen."
Technician 2: "Sir, it's not the same queen."
Vader: "It's not? You sure?"
Technician 2: "Positive, sir."
Vader: "Call her anyway."
Technician 2: "Right away, Lord Vader."
Queen: "Hello? Who is this?"
Vader: "I've thought about you a lot. You torment my soul and give me ooky dreams."
Queen: "Lord Vader, is this a booty call?"
Vader: "I could send a probe droid to steal your panties. Do you think I'm sexy?"
Queen: "I'm hanging up."
*click*
Vader: "Destroy Naboo too."
Technician 2: "Absolutely, sir."
Vader: "Grand Moff Jar-Jar, you're the only one that ever understood me."
Jar-Jar: "Yousa workie toosa hard, Annie."
Vader: "Even if I could never understand you."