My best, and only, friend had run away to military school when things got tough for him. So, that left me here alone, without anyone.
It was the last day of school and while we didn’t have any classes I found myself walking around aimlessly though my normally scheduled day. I didn’t have anyone to sit in the library with and laugh and cry about the far gone school year, I just had myself and I found that acceptable.
I purposely made myself stick out with clothes that weren’t in style at all, glasses I didn’t need, and a pair of Chuck Taylor’s that didn’t have laces in them. I think I just ached for attention that I would do anything for it, but I was in no position to diagnose myself, so the shrink had said.
When the bell rang at the end of the day to end our final session of that year I just walked out to my car instead of making sure I had said good-bye to everyone I had already said good-bye to at least twice like everyone else was doing. I heard my name being called out and turned to face the caller.
“Hey Zoë!” The head cheerleader, Darla, voiced in my direction. “I hope you have a good summer, see ya next year babe. Oh and tell your sexy brother ‘hi’ for me, thanks, you’re a doll.”
I just turned and kept walking I could hear all the girls laughing behind me, but I really didn’t care. What was new, people laughing and making fun of me. I had grown up with it; I could definitely handle it in high school.
That was the other thing that was different about me. My three oldest brothers had a band and they were definitely talented. Everyone around where we lived knew them. Of course they were all grown up and had moved away and my “sexy brother,” Darla had made reference to had a couple kids and his oldest wasn’t much younger than me. The only thing was, I had no talent, the only one in the family who couldn’t sing, write a song, or play an instrument.
Zac, my favorite brother, had worked with me for many years trying to find some sort of talent in me, but I can’t carry a tune and I have no mind for poetry, and no ear for any kind of pitch. So, finally I gave up on music and looked into auto-mechanics and low and behold I could tune a carburetor, but I couldn’t tune a bass guitar.
I had a knack for things that didn’t seem to matter to my family and that’s probably what started making me crazy. Don’t get me wrong, mom and dad were always real proud when I could tackle all the guys on the football team, but I think they had higher hopes for me. That’s when I started losing friends, as soon as I lost my dress and put on a pair of coveralls.
I still, for some reason, did not care.
When I got home that day there were all kinds of cars in my driveway not the normal three that were there, but I counted five new ones. I couldn’t get to my parking spot so I was forced to park across the street. I recognized the new cars to belong to my siblings who did not live in the house any longer. I hated when everyone came home, it was loud and I was always forced to watch all my brothers and sisters’ children. What a pain.
I walked into the house, an opening of loud noise greeting me as soon as I opened the door, and I made my way into the living room where I figured the family would be.
“Zoë, glad you’re home. Took long enough didn’t you,” my mom greeted me with a smile.
“I left right when the bell rang just like I always do. Sorry,” I retorted back bitterly, wiping the smile off my mom’s face.
My sisters were staring at me and what I was wearing, they hadn’t seen me in a while and couldn’t imagine where I had come up with an outfit like that. I just knew that’s what they were thinking. My brothers on the other hand weren’t paying attention to me except for Zac who noticed something very quickly.
“Hey! Aren’t those my old clothes?” He said laughing at me.
“Yeah, if you got a problem with me wearing them I’ll go change and you can have these back,” I didn’t mean to say, but said anyways.
“No, Zo, they look better on you than they ever did me,” he said frowning at my attitude.
“Sorry Zac, I didn’t mean to snap,” I said under my breath.
“It’s okay Zo, have a seat,” he motioned toward the open seat on the couch right next to him. I openly accepted the offer and sat down next to him. All of my siblings were married, except for Mack, who still lived at home, but I didn’t see any of my, I guess you could say, sister or brother-in-laws around.
“Well everyone, Taylor’s got an announcement for us,” my mom began.
“Oh great!” I thought to myself, that’s right, everyone came over to the house when there were announcements like someone was pregnant or someone broke their back and would never be able to stand on stage again. Things like that, but today Taylor had two announcements.
“Yeah, okay so to start off on a happy note, Natalie’s pregnant again,” Taylor paused so he could get a reaction and he did from everyone, but me. “Secondly, we’ve decided to move up to North Dakota just a different place.” This bit of news seemed to even shock mom I guess he hadn’t told anyone yet.
“Okay so now it’s my turn,” Zac butted in. “Since Taylor is moving, Kate and I have decided to move as well. About two hours from where Taylor and Natalie are going to be. Still in North Dakota might I add though.” He finished and mom about fell out of her seat she looked to Isaac like he was going to say the same thing, but we got some positive news from him.
“Nope, not me, I’ve decided to stay here because I’d miss you guys too much. Plus, Alyssa doesn’t want to move, she’s not been in Tulsa long enough she said.” Everyone seemed to be happy at this, but I wasn’t. I was on the verge of tears and no one could see me cry. That was something the new me didn’t do, but Zac saw them in my eyes, just like he always did.
He took me into the kitchen, I guess he knew the phase I was going through and gave me the look he always gave me when we were kids, when he told me he was reading my mind.
“Zac, don’t go! You’re all I have left that’s sane and gets me in this family and now you’re leaving me. What do I do? When you’re gone who’s going to be there to catch my fall? Please,” my voice zoned off.
“Zoë, chill out! I’m still always going to be here for you, you just have to learn how to call out for people when you’re in need of help. I love you Zo and don’t ever forget that. Nothing has and nothing will ever change between us. I just need you to support me like I’ve always supported you. Can you do that? Because I’m always gonna be here to catch your fall, don’t you worry about that,” Zac told me brushing away the tear I had let slip.
“Yeah I can support you, but it’d be even better if you could take me with you,” I said giving him that look that always got things for me from him.
“Hey, we’re almost ready to go; maybe you could spend some of the summer with us and get away from here for a while. I’ll talk to mom about that. Okay?”
“Okay. Sounds great, when should I start packing?”
“As soon as mom says ‘yes’,” At that Zac walked out of the room and left me standing alone in the big kitchen that I had many memories in. I was so happy I had found a way out and I was taking it. I was going to get away from everything that had ever hindered me. Oh it was going to be great.
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