“She’s so beautiful,” Isaac thought as he leaned against the doorframe intently watching Star hover over the crib just staring at their newly born baby girl.
She was so afraid that something was going to happen to her while her and Isaac slept in the next room. Trying desperately to assure his girlfriend, he had made sure the baby monitors had new batteries in them every night and their door and the baby’s door stayed open at all times. So, he was sure that they could hear anything that went on in the nursery. He was equally sure that the baby could hear anything that went on in his and Star’s room, which made him more nervous than he was about the baby being alone.
“Rhoslyn,” Star whispered in a sing-song voice.
“Shh, don’t wake her,” Isaac said softly startling Star a little bit. “She’s beautiful when she’s awake, but she’s absolutely gorgeous when she’s sleeping, and we won’t have long to enjoy this moment.”
“You’re right,” Star said softly and began to walk towards Isaac. She settled herself into his arms and he rested his chin on the top of her head while wrapping his arms around her. His and her parents had begged them to get married when they learned of their baby girl, but both he and Star had decided against that idea, and honestly they liked not being married, but they hadn’t put the idea of marriage away yet. They still had plans of getting married one day, but it just wasn’t going to be anytime soon.
They walked back towards the bedroom ready to jump into bed and cuddle with each other amongst their warm blankets.
“Hmm,” Isaac grumbled as he woke up from his dream. He rolled over to wrap Star up in his arms and when he hit the empty space in their bed the memory of the day before came flooding back to him.
Her stuff was still there so he knew she couldn’t be planning on being away for long, but something inside of him told him that he wouldn’t see her for a while. There was still a small indention on her pillow where her head used to lie, and her side of the bed still smelt strongly of her.
“Seems it's been so long since
I saw her smiling face
Even though it was only yesterday
And I miss her, oh
Yes I loved her so
And I wonder why she had to go”
Quickly becoming overwhelmed by his thoughts of his beloved Star he got up and walked towards the nursery. As he came towards the door he saw the soft glow of the pink night light the radiated around the room when it was dark.
He leaned, once again, against the door frame and stared at the empty crib. He missed his baby so much. In just the few weeks that Rhoslyn had been out of her mother’s womb and throughout the nine months of her development, Isaac had loved her with more than his whole entire heart. And now his precious angel was gone.
With both Star and Rhoslyn gone he was about the breakdown. Star had been his refuge and strength for the many years that they had been dating and the beautiful thing that their love had created had been what kept him going each and every day throughout his tough times.
He walked downstairs and towards the phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen. He was going to call his mother, she was always the person he turned to when he was having a problem and right now he was miserable.
But, on the way to the kitchen he had to pass by the living room and the picture of him and Star on their first vacation together to Niagara Falls loomed out at him and he immediately started to walk towards it.
He picked up the frame and stared at it, focusing his eyes on the eyes of Star. She had the most stunning eyes. If you were to come into contact with her you couldn’t help but stare straight into her eyes.
This had always made Star uncomfortable so at a very young age she had grown into the habit of looking down when people were talking to her. Isaac couldn’t stand that because he loved her eyes so, he would always gently place his finger under her chin and tilt her head up towards him, just so he could gaze into her eyes.
But, now they were gone. He accidentally dropped the frame and it fell to the floor shattering into thousands of pieces. He instantly broke into tears, he didn’t think he could bare the thought of not having her around.
Just then the phone rang and Isaac jumped up to answer it, Star was the only person who would even think about calling him this late.
“Star?” he gasped into the receiver.
“Hey Ike,” she said sounding to sympathetic for his liking.
“When are you going to be home?” he asked right off the bat, but not throwing her off. She knew him way to well to be unprepared for anything that he had to say.
“Sweety, I don’t think I’m going to be coming home,” she said, the sound of tears filling her voice.
“Why not, is it something I did?” Isaac asked entirely prepared to change any aspect of his life, except maybe his music, but he could always make accommodating adjustments.
“It’s not you baby, it’s me, and I just couldn’t handle your life anymore. It’s not that I still don’t love you, I will always love you. I just can’t handle the stress that you lifestyle places on my shoulders, and I could never ask you to give up your music for me,” she said making Isaac cry even harder.
“But, I’ll never be able to live without you and without Rhoslyn,” he said grabbing a tissue from the island in the kitchen and neglecting to wipe of his tear stains on his cheeks, he just clutched it tightly in his knuckles.
“I’ll let Rhoslyn live with you if you want, you can give her so much more than I can, I just want to make sure that I’m a part of her life,” Star said giving up the one thing that she would never have given up in any other circumstances, proving to Isaac that she really did love him.
“Oh you can always see her, don’t ever hesitate to drop by, and you can keep her each and every weekend, and we’ll rotate with tours. I’ll take her on one and you can keep her on the next,” Isaac said more than willing to take this bartering chip. If he couldn’t have both of them he at least wanted one part of his heart back.
“That sounds good baby,” she said softly.
”Where are you staying?” he asked gently not crying any longer. Now, he had to be strong for her. She had just basically given up her child just for Isaac’s sake and now he needed to do the same thing for her.
“With my mom,” she stated, even though she knew that Isaac knew that anyway.
“Do you want me to bring over the rest of your clothes and stuff tomorrow?” he asked hoping she would say yes so he could see her again.
“That would be great, if you don’t mind. And when you come you can get Rhoslyn,” she said stalling over her last few words.
“Okay, I’ll do that, when do want me to be there,” he asked hoping she would give him an early time.
“Any time after 9:00 in the morning, that’s when Rhoslyn will wake up so it’ll be easier to take her after then.”
“Yeah, I know” Isaac said fully aware of his daughter’s schedules.
”So, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Star stated softly putting an end to their conversation.
“Yeah, guess so,” Isaac said once again feeling tears come to him eyes. He didn’t want her to get off the phone, he loved her voice so much and he wanted to be able to hear it for the rest of his life.
“Okay, bye,” she said then hung up.
“At least I’ll have the baby,” Isaac told himself trying to reassure the utterly bad thoughts he was having about losing Star. “At least I’ll have the baby…”
”Her beautiful eyes are all I want to see
Staring back at me
Just like I'm staring into the sun
Her tender touch is all I want to feel
As I hold our baby gently in my arms
Gently in my arms."
