Tonight I cry.... I cry for help... After 21 years of abuse,
I cry no More.... This is my story of Hell....

It started when I was 16. My first boyfriend 5 years older than me never hit me
but was so controlling, I could never speak unless I was given permission,
I could never wear what I wanted to It was always what he wanted me to wear
I could not have friends, and he was pulling me from my family. My parents could
see this happening but I could not I was young and thought I Was In Love

Then When I was 18 I was in a relationship with an alcoholic
who thought that I needed a daily beating. I was always glad to see Friday come
because I knew that he would be gone for the whole weekend blowing his paycheck
and time for some of the bruises to heal. I remember many times telling family
that I had fallen down the stairs, out of the car, slipped in the tub, just to
cover up what really was going on in my life. I became pregnant and spent the last
3 months of my pregnancy in the hospital because of a blow to the stomach that ripped
part of the placenta away from my uterine wall. I thought once the baby was born
things would change.....They never did.....Things got worse. One night I was
nagging him because the baby needed milk and he had come home from the weekend
with only $2.00 left in his pocket. He was an Iron Worker and made plenty of money
but there was never any money to be found after a weekend, But as I asked him for
some money to feed the baby, he got angry and tied me up with a hanger and put me
in the closet for 5 hours. This went on for another year until the day he came
home and put my daughter on the bed and dragged me into the bedroom and started
to beat me and looked at my daughter (she was one) as she cried and told her to
shut up because when she got older this is what is going to happen to her
I left that day and have never looked back again....................

Then there was my ex husband Married almost 16 years and out of
those 16 years he was only sober for two years. And again making excuses for the
black eyes, broken fingers, cuts on my body, making excuses to my children for
the blood on the walls, blood on the floor, making excuses for the broken window
that my head had gone through. Always afraid to speak to him after his 9th beer of
the night. The children knew better also...They were never abused but knew
Mom would pay the wrath if they got out of line. The dog even took the abuse
also she lost many teeth because she would jump up on him and spill his beer
and this would anger him. Today I am divorced from him and we have a great
friendship, we get along better DIVORCED than we did when we were MARRIED,
but that pain and anger is still inside

The abuse I have gone through has made me a very cold
and bitter woman. With the help of God and the man I love I hope
I will get over this. I have seen hand in hand what abuse does
to a family. My children fight with the anger they have daily,
it's a strugle for them to show any Love, because all there life
they have never know what Love is except from me. It is very
hard for them to show any man in there life any love, But I
know that with the help from God and The Love that Bob shows them
they will also over come the anger and pain........

This Award is Very SPECIAL to me Visit the specail lady that made it!

Thank you Evelyn For This Special Award!

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Please Visit This Beautiful SITE! And Thanks Debi