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Boring
Lecture ?!?
- 1) Bring a blow horn.
Use it when you ask or answer a question.
- 2) Heckle the
professor.
- 3) Hire a video crew
to come to the class. If asked about it, say that you have to tape the
lecture for a friend.
- 4) Get the other
students in your row to do the wave.
- 5) Bring a small
chalkboard to class. Ask the professor if you can borrow his chalk to take
notes.
- 6) Contradict
everything the professor says. Offer irrefutable scientific proof.
- 7) If it's a math
lecture, claim that the professor misspelled pi.
- 8) When the professor
asks a question, raise your hand. If the professor calls on you, point to
someone in the next row and say "He knows." Pick a different
person each time.
- 9) Buy a doll. When
you go to class, leave the doll in your chair, along with your notebook and
pen. Say that you have an important meeting to go to, and that the doll will
be taking notes for you.
- 10) Bring a
typewriter. Use it to take notes.
- 11) Write a love note.
Sign it "a secret admirer". Get someone to pass it to the
professor.
- 12) Get up to go to
the bathroom five or six times during the class. Change clothes every time.
- 13) While taking
notes, write vulgar words every few lines. If anyone asks, say you have
Tourette's syndrome.
- 14) Buy a watermelon.
Give it to the professor. If he/she asks, say "They were out of
apples."
- 15) Bring a small tape
player. Play a tape of the previous lecture. Take notes on both.
- 16) If it's an English
class, ask how the theory of relativity relates to Shakespeare's
"Midsummer Night's Dream".
- 17) Pretend to be
asleep until five minutes before the end of class. Then wake up and explain
that you missed the lecture, and ask the professor to summarize what he/she
talked about.
- 18) Bring a can of
spray paint. Use it to take notes on the classroom wall.
- 19) Bring a
fully-stocked picnic basket to class. Explain that you didn't have time to
eat breakfast.
- 20) Wear a loincloth
to class. If anyone asks, say that it is your costume for the school play,
and you didn't have time to change out of it.
- 21) Tear out pages of
the textbook and make little origami animals out of them. Have a whole
menagerie by the end of class. Give them to the professor as a token of your
esteem.
- 22) Bring a fishing
rod. Try to catch things on the professor's desk.
- 23) Bring a tape
player and a tape of a thunderstorm. Keep it hidden. Sometime during the
lecture, start the tape, stand up, claim that the professor has angered the
gods and leave. Watch to see how many students follow you after the tape
starts playing.
- 24) Make reserved
seating cards and place them on the desks before class.
- 25) Tell the professor
you are on a new experimental cold medication that may have strange side
effects. Every ten minutes or so, run around the room screaming. Afterward,
claim that you have no memory of what just happened.
- 26) Claim that you are
the new student teacher, and that you are to give the lecture for that
class. If the professor agrees, lecture on a subject completely opposite the
to subject of the class. If the professor objects, say that the students
should have a wide range of knowledge.
- 27) Switch the
professor's lecture notes with your history notes from last term.
- 28) Raise your hand
and ask when the movie is going to start.
- 29) Bring a flash
camera. Take pictures every few minutes, using a very bright flash. If
anyone complains, say that you didn't see any sign saying you couldn't bring
cameras.
- 30) Bring a light
bulb. Hold it over your head whenever you have the answer to a question.
- 31) Bring an easel and
a paint set. Paint a portrait of the professor during the lecture. Say that
it is a homework assignment for art class.
- 32) Sneeze very
loudly. Then, have the person next to you sneeze, then the person next to
him, and so on. See how long it takes before the professor sneezes.
- 33) When the professor
comes in, say, very loudly, "Hey! A substitute! All right!" Claim
that the real professor said you could have lecture outside.
- 34) Come to class
wearing the same outfit as the professor. Call the professor a copycat.
- 35) If it's a geology
lecture, switch the quartz crystals with New Folgers Crystals and see if the
professor notices. Have a hidden camera.
- 36) Hide a ticking
clock under the podium. Call in a bomb threat.
- 37) Write your
assignment on Plato on your little sister's modeling clay.
- 38) Ask questions in a
foreign language you know the professor doesn't know. Act angry when he/she
doesn't understand you.
- 39) Come to class
dressed as a professional wrestler. Tell people you joined the wrestling
team. Bodyslam anyone who doesn't believe you.
- 40) When the professor
comes in, suddenly scream, "NOOOOOO! Not him! Not professor Johnson!!
They let him teach again! NOOOOOOOOO!" then run out of them room.
See how many people follow you.
- 41) Turn your row into
a mosh pit.
- 42) Before class
starts, turn all the desks upside down. Sit on them like you would normally.
- 43) Two words:
American Gladiators.
- 44) Make requests like
people do at rock concerts. ("Relativity! Relativity! Einstein
rocks!")
- 45) Bring popcorn.
Throw it at the professor. Complain that these trained animal shows aren't
what they used to be.
- 46) Bring a tape
player and a tape of the school bell. Play it every15 minutes.
- 47) When the professor
calls on you, mumble incomprehensibly. Answer every question in this
fashion. See how long it takes before the professor stops calling on you.
- 48) When you take a
test, hire a security guard to stand by your desk and make sure no one
cheats off your paper.