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Politically
Correct
How to speak about men and be
Politically Correct
- He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a
LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
- He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
- He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
- He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers
GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
- He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes
ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
- He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a
case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
- He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY
AUTOMATED
- He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE
EMPATHY
- He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY
CHALLENGED
- He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has
INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC VISION
How to speak about women and be
Politically Correct
- She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED
AMERICAN.
- She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE.
- She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
- She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in
ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
- She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
- She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY
ENJOYED COMPANION
- She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
- She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets
CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
- She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
- She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY
ENHANCED.
- She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY
REPETITIVE
- She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
- She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is
PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
- She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST
PROVIDER.