Politically Correct

How to speak about men and be Politically Correct

• He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
• He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
• He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
• He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
• He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
• He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
• He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
• He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
• He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
• He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC VISION

How to speak about women and be Politically Correct

• She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
• She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
• She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
• She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
• She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
• She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION
• She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
• She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
• She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
• She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
• She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
• She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
• She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
• She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.