Are You Addicted To The Net ?
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to
the bathroom and stop to check
your e-mail on the way back to bed.
You get a tattoo that
reads "This body best viewed with
Netscape Navigator 4.0 or higher."
You turn off your modem
and get this awful empty feeling, like
you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You decide to stay in
college for an additional year or two, just
for the free Internet access.
Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours.
You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your
ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the
modem. ...And you succeed.
You find yourself typing
"com" after every period when using a
word processor.com
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
Your cat has its own home page.
You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
You check your mail. It says
"no new messages." So you check
it again.
You don't know what sex
three of your closest friends are,
because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to
ask.
You tell the cab driver
you live at
"http://2755.prospect.garden/house/brick.html."
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.