Secrets in the Dark

Here we go again
Why does it never end
One moment I'm in the light
The next, I've lost my sight
A cloud covers my heart
And sends me into the dark.
I don't know why it comes and goes
I'm on a high, then I fall to a low
It's much deeper than most
This certainly is not something to boast
Even though my life should never be close to death
I still harbor thougths about my death
I have a great life
But my mind sees a knife
I cannot explain it
Nor can I ignore it
So now I just want to know
How can I get the help to make it go
It's just like an addiction
Once you get it, it weighs as much as a ton
Which never truly disappears
I never really stare at the mirror
Afraid of what I might see
I don't understand me
Is the happiness real
Or the dark I feel
I live my life never knowing what will turn me
I cannot see inside of me
There is a war that rages within
Neither side can win
Part of the war begins with blind fatih
Or what I feel is logical and safe
Another part is the darkness that is always there
That makes me forget who cares
Or the happiness that I try to hold
Neither one is bold.
I just don't understand this prison
When will it be done
What else can I do to take it away
Is there some way
To make the dark
Leave my heart
All I want to do is reach out
Erase all doubt
But I don't know how
I don't know how to allow
Someone inside my mind and heart
To unlock the secrets in the dark