Wishing and Wanting
What do I wish for most in this world? Being sane, being “normal”- being able to deal with stress without thoughts turning to cutting, without becoming suicidal. I wish for it so bad it hurts. And so I wait. Though part of me wonders what the Hell I’m waiting for. Will that time ever come? It sure would be nice to know.
I’m just kinda floating out there now, wondering if this is how its always going to be or will there come a day when this madness ends. Part of me wonders if I’ll end it with my own hand or will it die its natural death. Which one I do not know.
And so I wish and I wait. Is that all for nothing? That’s one question that I need to answer. So I know what will become of me. I think this wishing and wanting is driving me nuts too!
I wish I as the snapshot others see me as. The picture perfect girl who has everything going for her. But on the inside I’ve been torn to shreds. I’m trying to put pieces together that do not fit. I force ‘em and just get myself in more trouble. So I’m here just trying to find my way, trial and error, mistake after mistake. I wish for the end.
