Child Development and Behavior
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BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE IN YOUR CHILDREN
Childhood is a long, learning experience for children. They absorb
lots of new information as they progress through school grades. They watch
and mold their behavior after parents who are constantly role modeling for
them. And all through their childhood, children learn how to trust from
their parents. When children are able to really count on their parents, they
develop a strong sense of trust -- both in their parents and in others.
There are three really important things you can do that will help
build this sense of trust in your children, and enhance their self-confidence
in themselves along the way.
First of all, be sensitive to your children's needs. Children who
are confident that their physical and emotional needs will be met become
more trusting. Trusting children also appear to be better at expressing
themselves appropriately. They learn quickly that they are better received
by others. They have more friends. They learn that others listen to them
more. They learn that others seem to like them better. More friends equals
more self-confidence in social situations.
Secondly, let even your young children make decisions. A toddler,
for instance, can select one of two outfits offered. Saying something like,
"I trust your judgment" may sound elementary, but it's an important
opportunity to empower your child. Empowerment is about making choices. Let
your children make choices every time it's appropriate. Disempowered
children may become controlling bullies. Their friends rapidly disappear.
And so does self-confidence.
And finally, validate your children's feelings. You can't always let
your children have their way. But you can show respect for their desires.
Instead of becoming angry and saying something like, "Get away from those
dishes," say instead, "I know you like to touch things, but you could
accidentally break these."
from The Reinheimer Letter August 1998
Email: rein@starnetinc.com
