Celia, Dave, Lenny, Nancy, Roberto, Ron, Vicki, and Victoria welcomed Heidi who was visiting her brother Dave

The group collectively opened the space with a brief round of introductions. The group then created the following list of discussion topics:

1. Friendship & Challenges of Sustaining Meaningful Relationships (Vicki/ Victoria)
2. Keeping Simple While Working (Vicki)
3. Book discussion: Radical Simplicity: Small Footprints on a Finite Earth by Jim Merkel (Heidi)
4. Book discussion: God-Man/Neo-Think by Mark Hamilton (Dave)
5. Book discussion: Havens: True Stories of Community Healing, co-authored by VS member Lenny Jason (group request)
6. De-cluttering Envy – My Sister Finished Decluttering… Why Can’t I? (Celia)

• People sometimes mean what they say at the time and then forget about it later
• Some people have legitimate physical health/mental health issues that can prevent them from following
• Through Lack of commitment has to do with personal integrity/values. People do what they want to do, what is important to them. "Talk is cheap," and failure to follow through reflects on their character
• If this is happening consistently, perhaps it is time to move on and find a different group more willing to develop desired relationships with give and take
• Try being honest with the disappointing friend(s) about how this behavior makes you feel and give them a chance to respond and demonstrate new behavior
• Too much honesty sometimes "puts people off" and the opportunity to create a friendship could be lost
• A Woody Allen story about a friend who thought he was a chicken was shared. The bottom line is that even if the chicken (friendship) has some challenges, it can be worth it to get the eggs (interesting things that person brings to your life).
• All relationships involve some degree of risk. Sometimes you have to weigh whether to move on, stick with status quo, or redefine the relationship
• "A friend is someone who calls you"
• Friendship is important and maybe many people have these problems, as loneliness and depression seem to be major issues in this country.

• It might be a matter of priorities
• Routines may need to be adjusted once you go back to work, you can’t expect to be able to do the same things in the same way
• Some people track their behaviors and actions. One person shared starting the day with prayer and doing things to center and balance out the stress of work. This person spends two hours, called the "golden hours," praying, stretching, exercising, reading for pleasure, and prioritizing activities for the day (divided into three categories: relationships, urgent (revenue-producing/job), and personal). This "stabilizes my house" and requires a great deal of discipline.
• Look at personal care behaviors as "jobs." Have hours to work on "me" and get personal payoffs rather than revenue. Not taking this time is like not showing up for a meeting. "If I’m not for myself, who is?"
• The Mayan people believe everyone has a certain level of chi. Chi cannot be replenished and we have to take care not to drain ourselves (From the internet: Ch'i or qi (pronounced "chee" and henceforth spelled "chi") is the Chinese word used to describe "the natural energy of the Universe." This energy, though called "natural," is spiritual or supernatural, and is part of a metaphysical, not an empirical, belief system. Chi is thought to permeate all things, including the human body. Such metaphysical systems are generally referred to as types of vitalism. One of the key concepts related to chi is the concept of harmony. Trouble, whether in the universe or in the body, is a function of disharmony, of things being out of balance and in need of restoration to equilibrium.)

The discussion shifted to how to add personal care to one’s life.

• Ease into it incrementally and don’t require perfection. Doing something is better than doing nothing, and over time a complete program will develop
• Sit down and determine your values and structure your program accordingly. Don’t put a band-aid on the issue by starting with a half-way approach. This is like marketing, you should know who you are, so others do too.

• Do an exercise to see how "in balance" you are. Take a perfect peacock feather and try to balance it on its point in the palm of your hand. You can if you are calm and present. Otherwise you’ll have to make big adjustments to keep the feather from falling over. This was learned from a clown (!), and it has proved to be a valuable exercise for many audiences, including corporate ones.

The discussion evolved to the rejuvenation of small businesses and problems associated with large corporations. A documentary called, "The Corporation," is currently playing and was highly recommended.

• Psychologists are good at putting band-aids on people, but a broader approach is needed for some problems
• Oxford Houses offer one solution where people form supportive communities. These people are looking to be healed from a variety of physical and emotional illnesses and sometimes from certain behaviors (including criminal acts). They take control of their lives and live cooperatively to everyone’s mutual growth and benefit. There are approximately 1,000 houses like this in the United States and about 40 in Illinois, including a house in Chicago which brings together students, senior citizens, and families for mutually supportive living.

(From Mike Lenich’s previous email: In the foreword, Thomas Moore points out that the communities described in this book are not only physical homes, but also shelters for the soul, places to find the deepest kind of security. "Here you will see concrete ways imaginative leaders help those in trouble find themselves rather than become dependent on institutions. It is a new and promising imagination of how social healing works: not by setting up more programs, but by treating people in trouble as human beings, with certain emotional and social needs. This book teaches how to re-imagine this whole process, and now, in an increasingly technical and lonely world, we need this precious wisdom more than ever.")

We ran out of time before getting to this topic.

We closed the meeting and space by noon (thanks again Lenny), and departed to enjoy the unseasonably cool, yet sunny and still delightful August day.

(Recorded by Celia)