(This is an excerpt from "Dragon Bones" chapter 13 copyright 1996 by Avendar Dragon)
I had been meditating within the field of the Impossibles for some time now. It had been enhanced by the meeting with the Skull of D'un. Within all this abstraction I had been seeing and participating in, a new component was now introduced. It was a strange wind from where I sensed had come from far away beyond my threshold of perception. I sensed it to be what these ETs that used the Crystal Skull for steering infinity had called a Wind of Navigation. As it swirled around and through me I was stimulated with realizations. Through these realizations I was sensing something far off. It was far off but it had impact. It was a Gateway.
It was a Gateway that I had been looking for without knowing anything about it. Master Q had spoken to me about the Gateways of Freedom, but they were so abstract that I could hardly comment upon them let alone aks a question concerning its nature. The Impossibles were a more tangible abstract. Now this new wind was presenting itself and all I could say was that now somehow I understand. In that understanding all I knew was that I needed to know more. The wind spoke to me.
"The greatest thing in the world is what is called the Noble Battle. There is a fine line between fact and rationalization, between event and innuendo, between realization and the tricks of the mind. That is what must be reconciled to your own satisfaction, beyond the dictates of Society, in accord with your own Soul. That is a tremendous battle. From that people not only kill others but they take sadistic delight in creative ways to kill others. From this people also find the basics of a meaningful existence of adventure and imagination. It is always a matter of extremes. Anything that is conceived of in human existence eventually finds itself in the circumstance of extremes.
"Such a place is found in the Dragon. The Dragon contains all opposites as well as all noble opposition. The attack of the Dragon is like a game of charades. The whole purpose of the attack is to point to the return of personal power to the subjective world without directly inferring it. To that end It has developed many sorts of attacks. In the semi-conscious state you complain as your resistance is at an all time low. As you gain in awareness, the battle becomes a game that has greater meaning. You learn that It attacks you at your weakness and supports you at your strength. You learn that you cannot afford to make your weaknesses your strength as many do in the unconscious state. The Dragon will support that weakness and attack it to no end. Have you ever wondered why certain patterns never resolve themselves? This is the reason.
"It is up to you to turn this around. It is up to you to make your strengths strategic and not an attempt to reinforce weakness beyond its necessity. To accomplish this you must wage the most noblest battle ever fought. That is the battle against self-sabotage. That battle alone will save the world. The world is embroiled in that battle as it leaves the subjective world and enters the worlds of others whose own self-sabotage meets the necessity of that disease. Live with the greatest plague and you will live a most fulfilling existence. Abide self-sabotage and you consign yourself to hell without purpose.
"Self-sabotage absorbs purpose. When you are just short of the goal, you will become lazy or self-assured. You will forget all the travail that has gotten you to this point just short of realization. If for any time period you forget the goal, even in the necessities of the mundane affairs, you have succumbed to self-sabotage. It is the fragmenting of Intent. Intent must remain solid, not the world. The world becomes malleable in the Sorcerer's hands. The goal need not be thwarted by the mundane world. You can use the idea of the goal to transform the world into something greater. That is a noble battle as well. That is an uphill fight. For the most part people will remark as to your eccentric nature as you cling tenaciously to your goal even when circumstances do not fit or are in opposition.
"The Warrior understands such opposition. That is why they cling so tenaciously to the goal even when it does not make sense. That opposition is the last ditch attempt to force inertia. It is self-sabotage's last attempt to maintain the mundane world. The mundane world is maintained by self-sabotage as its central construct. When you have decisively dealt with self-sabotage, the inertia of the mundane world will fall away.
"It is only through a noble sacrifice that is well placed and perfectly timed that can defeat the obstacle of self-sabotage. Just realize the sacrifices you have established to reinforce self-sabotage and you will see the reason for the noble sacrifice that is well placed and perfectly timed in the inner theatre of your noble battle. It was these sacrifices to reinforce self-sabotage that drew the Dead Zone into your field. As the Dead Zone draws over the energy body through the strategy of self-sabotage, your sensation is isolated in a mental-emotional body. This body is constructed by self-sabotage as the body of limitation. It is the body of limitation that configures the limited physical realm. It does this as a sort of self-inflicted punishment at failure in the Test of Power.
"It is not possible to escape the effects of the failure in the Test of Power. You may survive the loss of love or the understanding that your belief system is phony without scar, but the failure in the Test of Power is the worst. Few have survived and those who have remain in the condition of extreme fragmentation. They place a ruthless angel-demon at the gateway of their failure. That angel-demon is self-sabotage. It is so expertly configured that at every turn that those who have survived make, a focus of energy towards a goal is met with futility so that such a failure would never be experienced again. That is why the limited physical realm is so concrete. The more concrete it is, the more you believe it to be the only reality.
"To those who have survived, some start the work of reintegrating their personal power. There is something within them that does not accept failure. That spirit is tested once again by the angel-demon of self-sabotage. That angel-demon creates a new statement of futility. You expect success because that is what the Warrior Spirit is all about and for some time the configuration of self-sabotage allows you to exist in that state in somewhat of ignorance of what you could accomplish in that state. Just when you begin to understand what is possible, the construction of self-sabotage will shut the gateway down. It does this to bait you into feeling sorry for yourself. The sense of feeling sorry for yourself is one that is food for the angel-demon of self-sabotage. It grows bigger as a result and can eventually consume the entirety of the lifestream that you put into feeling sorry.
"Beware of self-pity in anything you do. Beware of self-pity in the camoflaged state of feeling sorry for others for states that you fear for yourself in ignorance of their reality. By simply emptying yourself of self-pity, it is possible to unravel the state of death from within. It is also possible to starve self-sabotage and weaken its grip upon the Soul. The grip that is maintained by configuring the strong weakness that directs the Dragon's attack and keeps it in that mode can no longer be seen as an efficient structure of energy.
"It is no longer efficient to consider the problematical existence the solution. lifetimes are littered with unsolved problems because you believe that it is necessary to have them. Thus you set the mind and emotions in the mode that configures their existence. The problematical existence is only functional when other solutions are found. One solution is that the problem is not as personal as you think. Problems are a universal. Everyone has problems and everyone has the same problems. It is the solution that should be considered completely personal. You may all have the same problem but there is never the same solution. As you think problems are personal, you believe that their solution are widely applicable to all cases. The solution to any problem is the first entry into the subjective world. It is completely a personal realization. Maybe, the very problem you have been wrestling with all this time is actually the solution. That is a perception Warriors have found strategic to enact.
"Eventually you will find out that the only way to operate in this system of limitation under such configurations is as a Warrior, like the Warrior Spirit. The Warrior Spirit operates in spite of all obstacles and so must you. The obstacle will always be there and eventually you will overturn it. You will eventually see it as an ally of a configuration of a greater Test of Power that you have not realized the importance of quite yet. It is one that will send you into an understanding of personal power that can never be flawed as the one you had been the effect of originally that placed you in this condition. Power seeks out these issues in order to better itself.
"It is much like disease. Those who are in such a state are in a far more strategic place than those in a contrived state of health that is not of their own making. Those in the diseased state see the face of the enemy. Those in a contrived state of health are on borrowed time. The mechanism of self-sabotage will kick in once the process of realization awakens. The only way to hold back that state is to remain in an ignorant condition. Such a predicament is impossible for those made out of the stuff of the Warrior Spirit. Even the configuration of self-sabotage is only temporary. Its purpose as a design is to enhance realization. Power exists by opposition. In the extremes of the universe it has its play.
"In this play you will sense a far off gateway that seems extremely remote and vaguely familair. In this play you will pass from the contrived flesh of self-sabotage through the Dragon's graveyard to the new flesh as Dragon Bone. Such stuff is durable and resistant to age. It is the stuff that holds up the organic picture of the whole universe much as your bones holds up the contrived flesh of self-sabotage."