Being the lazy rock critic that I am, I’ll open my review of the latest Imperial Teen record by posing this question: What’s not to love about What Is Not To Love? Let me count the ways:
1. The insipid "Yoo Hoo", a song that will probably be many fans’ first exposure to this band due to its inclusion on the soundtrack for Jawbreaker (which also includes their far superior "Water Boy" from their debut disc, 1996’s Seasick). Admit it – there are some songs that, like it or not, will burrow into your memory and haunt you for days. "Yoo Hoo" is one of those songs, in all of its grating glory. It’ll probably be a hit, and good for them, but to tell you the truth, it’s fairly generic midtempo tripe that’s otherwise forgettable save for its chorus.
2. A few of the songs on What Is Not To Love wander into directionless, industrial-strength crap more reminiscent of the second side of Seasick (a tale of two albums in itself, the first side being desert-island material). "Crucible" and "Seven" are ballad-by-numbers, the former replete with throaty vocals by ex-Faith No More keyboardist Roddy Bottum, while "Year Of The Tan" is boring, Sonic Youth-derived filler. Yawn.
OK, so those are just two things, but they’re two big ones in this reviewer’s book. Still, What Is Not To Love has some qualities that do keep it from going down the crapper, or at least keep me from selling it for at least another month.
The record commences with "Open Season", a 60s-shaded rocker charged with keyboards and neat-o backing harmonies that we here at No Ugly Babies swear by. "Alone In The Grass" recalls some of the best of Yo La Tengo, and songs like "Birthday Girl", "Lipstick" and "The Beginning" are noisy, fun pop that Imperial Teen have proven themselves to be authorities of.
What Is Not To Love is a painfully mediocre record that seems to emphasize both the best and the worst of Imperial Teen. Given their appearance on the Jawbreaker soundtrack, they’re bound to achieve heights that not even the bubblegum of Seasick could bring them to, but I still find it hard to believe that this is the same band that recorded such gems as "You’re One" and "Butch". What Is Not To Love? Enough to avoid this one.
--Brandon Grimes