PARENT TO PARENT

Q: My son was struggling with reading his first two years. The school tested him and said he had a learning disability, but we taught him phonics last summer and now he is reading beautifully. His teacher agrees, but the school will not take him out of the special classes. These classes are for children with disabilities, and my son hates them now that he can read. He hates going to school, complains all the time, is uncooperative in his regular class and disruptive in the special classes. Now they are saying he has a behavioral disability. I say he just needs to get out of those special classes. What is wrong with the school?

A: In reading your letter, I can hear your frustration and anger. I can understand your problem, since it sounds like your son never had a disability in the first place, but an "inability", as I like to call it.

I would like to say that there is probably nothing wrong with the people at your son's school, although it does seem like it. The problem, as usual, is legal. Here is their situation: your son was tested, and showed signs of a reading disability. He was then classified as a special needs student. If they remove him from special needs and declare him no longer in need of special help, then later he begins to have problems, they could be in trouble legally for not providing him with the help he supposedly needed. They are stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place.

As for wanting to classify your son as having behavioral disabilities, there could be several reasons. I've seen this many times. However, since I have no information from the school, it would not help to guess blindly as to why they are doing this. Let's just look at it as one more challenge to overcome.

The important thing is, you can have your son removed from the special needs classes, but it will take work and the responsibility rests on your shoulders. First, inform the school, in writing, that you have decided to have your son withdrawn from the special classes. Do not make a request, make a simple statement. Remember, you will face resistance, but that is okay. They are only protecting themselves. They may even believe they are trying to protect your son. Just stick to your decision.

Make an appointment with your county's Special Education administrator. There is one person in charge of the program in each county. Write a letter of intent, stating that you understand they believe your son needs special classes, but that you disagree and want him removed from the program. There may be a couple forms for you to fill out and sign, again, to protect the school from any possible legal entanglements in the future. As long as the school has a document clearly stating that you are responsible for having your son removed from the special needs class, and that they are not responsible, you shouldnr't have any problems.

Don't forget to talk to your son about his role in the situation. I would start by explaining the difference between rights and privileges. Your son has a right to attend public school. He did have difficulty with reading, for whatever reason, a couple years ago, and that is why he was assigned to special classes. It is quite rare for a student to removed from special needs once placed, and it is a privilege.

I know he worked hard to learn how to read and his success should have been rewarded by returning him to mainstream classes, but that hasn't happened yet. This is a wonderful opportunity to teach him a positive lesson in work ethics. I often remind my own children that privileges are earned with hard work. Sometimes, even after you have done what you were supposed to, you need to do a little more. Adults call this "going the extra mile". In your son's case, he now needs to continue working hard to earn the privilege to be removed from the special needs class by showing that he can contain his anger and frustration, and behave himself, even in a bad situation. Don't forget to assure him regularly that you are behind him, and that you are also continuing to work at having him returned to regular classes. You also mentioned that his teacher agrees with you. Perhaps you could remind your son of this, and suggest that he thank him/her by working extra hard to be cooperative in class.

If your son is not removed from the classes, contact the Department of Public Instruction. You can email them from their website:

www.dpi.state.nc.us

or call the Governor's Office in Raleigh and ask for the Department of Public Instruction. Just explain your situation and I am sure somebody there can help walk you through the process.

I assure you, although it sometimes seems like people are out to stop your son, the vast majority of the people working in the North Carolina Educational System are caring, hardworking individuals. You just need to find the right people to talk to.

I hope this helps.

Good Luck,
Michele