ETW's Recent Problems


ETW has some BIG, BIG problems on their hands. The company is going nowhere but downhill, unlesss they figure out a way to solve these bitches.

1. First of all the ETW arena is in a leap of shit as of now, being targeted by the military and other government officials. They want it down and they want it down now. Vincent K. McMahon has also contacted the corporation asking if he could buy the arena himself.

2. DOODLE has been seen with the same stupid flannel shirt every fuckin day of the year and I've heard that he does not have any other clothes to wear except that gayass shirt. But DOODLE has bigger problems than that. His movie blowed goats and instead of making millions, he lost billions. He also might move to Japan in search of a warmer climate and to maybe win the world title in some stupid ass Japan league that vader is in since he has never won the world title in ETW.

3. The ANIMAL has been in contact with Eric Bishoff and many WCW officials and No Limit Soldiers about him going to WCW. They want him to work Nitro's and PPV events, possibly debuting at Bash at the Beach and fighting SID in his first match. But the animal has not agreed to anything as of late. When I interviewed him he said that he would stay in ETW by choice, but he heard it might be going down so WCW might be the right choice for him.

4. Even the TOOlman himself has been in negotiations with different leagues. Paul Heyman has been calling and calling the TOOLman, asking for him to come to ECW, because they have also lost many wrestlers themselves. The TOOLman would sort of replace Shane douglas and become the franchise of ECW, says Paul E. But the TOOLman has been in ETW for 37 years and loves it with his life. He said that if ETW would ever close down, he might just retire and not even think about wrestling again. But the TOOLman did say that if he did want to wrestle again, it would be for ECW or WWF because WCW is gay. The TOOLman has been making fun of the animal for his negotiations with wcw in the locker rooms.

5. NEMOS. The man. The myth. NEMOS has been threateneing to leave town and get away from ETW if it doesnt get its act together. His dream was to once run a wrestling school and teach kids how to wrestle, and he might go to fullfill his dreams. But he also is upset with ETW as of late. They screwed him out of his title, sometimes assigning him to 2 or 3 matches a ppv. Nemos said "I just cant handle it anymore. They treat me like I'm a dog or something. Well I have feelings too and can't wrestle so many matches. I just get so tired." Tom Ross and Tim Tenay responded to that saying "NEMOS, what are you talking about? You ask us to assign you to all those matches you idiot." NEMOS has also reportedly been arrested for stealing stop signs in Oyster Bay. His bail is now over 3 million dollars and the corporation just doesnt have that money to get him out.

6. RT. RT has absolutely no place to go if ETW shuts down because no other league wants him. He is tardy for events, sometimes not even showing up for them. But RT has also been seen having arguments with the wrestlers of ETW and the members of the corporation. Nobody seems to get along with him in the back and he's just an accident waiting to happen.

7. THE man They Call BITTER said that he hates ETW right now and that he would leave if it wasnt for the TOOLman and the animal convincing him to stick with it. But the MAn has been offered a contract worth 16.5 million dollars by Doug Dillenger and company down at WCW. This is definitley a megga contract and he might take it. He has been cursing off the ETW fans, mooning the little children that sit in the first row of the arenas and has just been such a penis to Tom Ross and Tim Tenay. If ETW doesnt go down, miraculously, then they will in my opinion be losing a big star in the Man they call BITTER.

8. DR.DRE is a whole other story. He has been talking with the Backstreet Boys, yes THE one and only backstreet boys about possibly joining the group. he loves ETW but says that the money just doesnt cut it for him. "At least if I was the 6th Backstreet Boy, I could make enough money to eat FLUFFERNUTTER whenever I want. With the shit pay I make in ETW, I can only afford to eat like 16 sandwithes a day, and that well, just doesnt cut it," says the DOCTOR.

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