MUSIC OF MY HEART
I stood above his coffin, tears rolling down my cheeks. My face was red, especially my eyes, they were extremely puffy. I stared down at the open casket, seeing him lying there made me nauseous. It made me feel like it was MY fault. But no, it was a drunk driver. That bastard. How dare he take my best friend away from me. I could barely see with the water in my eyes. I kneeled down and cried hysterically. A hand touched my shoulder, "Ssh, it's okay."
I turned around and found my cousin, "JC, how could he leave me? How could he? He promised he wouldn't!" At this point, people were mumbling. I didn't care, the only thing I cared about was him. My cries echoed around the small church.
JC helped me up so I was now on my feet. I couldn't stand to look at that cold and pale face any longer. I had to get out. But something was stopping me. I couldn't move. I stopped crying all of a sudden; why? JC was holding my hand tightly as I froze, watching his dead body inside the coffin. I was thinking. Thinking of what happened when that car hit us.
*Flashback*
"Justin, watch out!!!!!"
Justin hit the brakes to his Mercedes but lost control as the green Jaguar rammed into the side of the car. The car flipped over more than 5 times until it stopped. My head throbbed. Badly. The only thing I could see was the outside of the car. I slowly reached out and realized the window was gone. My neck throbbed also. The pain wouldn't go away. Then I remember, a drunk driver rammed right into us. I quickly looked over at Justin, "Justin....Justin? Hey! Justin!" No answer.
Moments later...
"Is...is...he de...dead?" I finally said.
The officer looked at me, "I'm sorry to say, but yes. He's dead."
My body froze. I stared at his body being pulled inside the ambulance. JC and the guys were hugging me. Telling me it was okay. But it wasn't. Justin would never say it was ok. How could he? He's dead.
*End Flashback*
JC walked me over to one of the rows of benches. I sat down slowly, keeping my eyes locked at the casket. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. People around me were crying hysterically like me, especially his mother. And I was surprised this was being seen by millions of others, via satellite. I was holding JC's hand very tightly, I knew it hurt his hand but he didn't say anything. I placed my head on his shoulder and cried even more. I almost remembered what we had to do in a few minutes, "JC, I don't think I could do it."
"If u don't want to, it's fine. We don't have to do it." But something inside me wanted me to do it. I once again took another deep breath, "No, I'll do it. I can do it."
The other guys and I stood infront of everybody in the church, behind his coffin. We were handed our microphones and we took our places. Lance, me, JC, Joey, and Chris. I took a really long deep breath and heard the music start. I wiped a single tear and started, "You'll never know, what you've done for me. What your faith in me, has done for my soul. You'll never know the gift you've given me. I'll carry it with me, yeah yeah."
"Through the days ahead I'll think of days before. When u made me hope for something better, and u made me reach for something more."
All of us were surprisingly in harmony, "You taught me to run, u taught me to fly. helped me to free the me inside. Helped me hear the music of my heart, helped me hear the music of my heart. You opened my eyes, you opened the door to something I've never known before. And your love is the music of my heart."
I stood there silently waiting for my part, "You were the one, always on my side. Always standing by, seeing me through. You were the song that walsy made me sing. I'm singing this for you. Everywhere I go I'll think of where I've been and of the one who knew me better, than anyone ever will again....."
JC and I walked about 4 feet, right infront of his casket and sang, "What you taught me, only your love could ever teach me."
"You got through when no one could reach me before." We sang together, "Coz u always saw in me, all the best that I could be, it was u who set me free......"
The song ended and half of the people clapped, half of the people cried. I cried even more. My heart was broken when my only best friend of 15 years left me alone in this world. I couldn't tell anyone my secrets anymore. He was the only one that could keep it. We've had our fights, but we would always make up. I cried even more when the priest announced that the lid was being closed. "No, wait!" I walked over to the coffin, "Wait, this is the last time I would ever see him. Wait." I slowly ran my fingers on his used to be soft cheeks. I ran a finger on his purple lips and traced the outline of his face. His curly hair perfect. He looked even more handsome dead than he usually does when he's alive. *hehe...* I leaned in and hugged his body. It was cold and stiff, and I couldn't stand it. I was used to his body being soft and cuddleworthy. I looked at his pale face, trying not to cry. The only thing I could do so that I will remember this whole day forever was that if I did something I've been wanting to do forever, to thank him for being a great friend. I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. I pulled back and rested my head on his shoulder.
JC pulled me up, "Come on, Jordan, let's go." I nodded and they closed the lid. We were headed to the cemetery now. But there was no use. It wouldn't make me any happier. He's being buried about 6-10 feet underground. I turned around and hugged JC. And we cried on each other and didn't let go for a long, long, long, time.
THE END
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