CHAPTER 12
"It all started a couple of months ago when I met Melanie, my ex-girlfriend, shooting a video. She was one of the extras and she immediately caught my eye. I asked her out and she accepted. The first few weeks were cool, but then the tour started up again and she got possessive. She wanted me to stay, but there was no way I could do that. After that I was on tour for two months. We kept in touch, but I really wasn't interested anymore......she couldn't take that. When we finally met up again, she drugged me and we slept together. I had no idea what I was doing at the time, and when I woke up and saw her beside me I totally panicked. I had no clue what the f*ck had happened. I was so worried...I asked her if there was any way that she could be pregnant and she said...oh God I remember how this freaked me out...she said, "What would be so bad about that"! I tried to get away from her but she wouldn't leave me alone. Her plan all along was to do something that would make it impossible for me to leave her, so she tried to become pregnant with my child. Luckily, no child was conceived, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if a child had to be brought up in a situation like that. Melanie is off with someone else now, thank goodness, but her actions have left serious lasting affects on me. I am afraid of intimacy. As much as I want to make love to you...I'm so scared. But now, maybe we can work together to get past this obstacle and move our relationship to the next level...so what do you say?"
"Oh God Justin, I feel so horrible. I wish you hadn't told me that." Jensen sighed
"Why not? Don't you love me the way I love you?"
"That's just it, I don't love you. I'm in love with Josh."
"What the f*ck! What are you talking about? We've been together this whole summer and you've never said one f*cking word about JC! What did I miss?" Justin seethed
"You didn't miss anything, really. I just realized that I loved Josh, but I know that I never loved you." Jensen lowered her head. She was unable to look Justin in the eyes.
"Then what were you doing with me this whole summer? Was I just a fling for you?"
"No...well, I like you Justin...I hate to say this but I know it will come out eventually, you were kinda like my back-up boy. I didn't want to be alone and you made me happy. You're fun, sweet, cute and you liked me. I knew that if things didn't work out with Josh, you'd be there."
"You are such a f*cking sl*t! I was your back-up man? Second string!!!!! You know what b*tch, I don't got to take this crap from you. I come here ready to share my life with you......I tell you one of my darkest secrets and you shove it back in my face saying I'm you back-up plan! No way. I DON'T TAKE THIS KIND OF SH*T FROM ANYBODY. I'm out.....find your own way home, wh*re." After Justin's outburst he stormed out of the restaurant. Jensen followed him in hot pursuit calling his name. Justin didn't listen. He was fuming....but he was more hurt than angry. He could feel the warm, salty tears running down his cheeks. His tears blinded him so he did not see the truck as he stepped into the street.
"JUSTIN, NO!!!!!!!!" Jensen screamed in horror as Justin was hit by the truck.
Jensen sprinted over to Justin's mangled body. She called for someone to get an ambulance, then she took his head in her lap and gently ran her hand through his blood stained curls. All Jensen could feel was pure guilt, pain and fear. She began sobbing as Justin lay limply in her arms. She could hear sirens coming towards them. When the ambulance pulled up she leaned down and kissed his forehead gently as the paramedics came to take him away. She stood in the street as rain started to fall on her. She let herself become drenched in the downpour before grabbing a cab and driving to the hospital. In the cab she called Josh on her cell phone and told him that he and the guys should meet her at the hospital right away.
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