They were together for almost eleven months before that day. Sarah had just gotten home from an afternoon class. Her professor had managed to find another way to bore his students to death. She got back to her dorm, and walked to her room. Sarah threw her keys onto the desk by her door, and kicked off her shoes. She picked up the few pieces of mail that was on the floor, and walked over to her bed. Sarah glanced over at her answering machine, and noticed that it was blinking. She pushed the button, and a familiar voice came on. It was JC. The group had been on tour for the past few months promoting their third album, and she had not heard from her boyfriend for a few days. The sound of his voice made her smile.
" Hey Sarah. It's me. I really have to talk to you. So, please call me. It doesn't matter what time, three in the morning or whatever. Just call me when you can. Bye." JC's voice cut off.
Sarah didn't know how to interpret his message. Her forehead wrinkled a bit at the serious tone of his voice. She picked up the phone, and dialed JC's cell phone. She waited for it to ring five times.
" Heloooo??" A voice, not JC's, answered the phone.
" Justin? Is that you?" Sarah asked the other person.
" Maybe. That depends on who this is." The voice said.
" It's me. Sarah. Justin I know it's you." Sarah said with a grin on her face.
" Hey there! Yes it is Justin. How are you?" Justin asked Sarah.
" Doing good. Only four more days left. I can't wait." Sarah said reminding herself and Justin that the school year was about to end.
" Are you coming on tour with us this summer?" Justin asked cheerfully.
" Of course I am. You know I would never miss an opportunity like that. Never." Sarah joked sarcastically.
" Ha. Ha. Very funny." Justin said.
" Okay, what exactly are you doing answering JC's phone?" Sarah asked Justin.
" Right. Um he's out on stage right now. I went to the bathroom, and heard the phone ring." Justin said.
" Well, if he's not too busy…" Sarah began saying something before getting cut off.
" Oh, duh, let me go get him. Hold on." Justin said. He walked out onto the stage where the other for guys were dancing around. " Hey guys, it's Sarah. Everyone say hi." Justin said pointing at the phone.
" Hi Sarah!" Said three of the guys. Sarah heard them and laughed to herself. She smiled, and mentally greeted them all back.
" Hello?" A voice answered the phone, and Sarah immediately smiled.
" Hi baby. I got your message. What's up?" Sarah asked JC.
" Um. I do need to talk to you, but now is not a good time. The concerts in an hour, and I need longer. But can I call you after?" JC sounded concerned.
" Yeah I guess. Yeah." Sarah said. She was very confused. What could be so important that he needed more than an hour to talk to her about? " Hey, you break a leg tonight, okay?" Sarah said to her boyfriend.
" Yeah. Thanks we will." JC said coldly." Hey Josh?" Sarah asked.
" Yeah." JC knew that Sarah could sense that something was wrong.
" I love you." Sarah said with all sincerity in her voice.
" You too." JC said with hardly any emotion. " Bye Sarah." He hung up the phone.
Sarah put down her phone, and stared out the window. She didn't understand why JC sounded so unemotional. He seemed so unattached. She was really worried about him. For the past few months his calls were reduced. He usually called her five or six times a week. Now, she barely even heard any news from him. She still loved him with all her heart, but she could feel him slipping away. Sarah wouldn't let herself believe it, though she knew that it was happening.
***Later that Night***
" Hello?" Sarah said as she picked up the phone. She glanced at the clock by her bed. It said 12:30.
" Hey you." It was JC. Sarah had been waiting for his call. " Sorry I'm so late." He apologized.
" It's okay. I was just cleaning up around here. You know, last minute packing an all." She said as she placed one of her albums in a small cardboard box. She began taking frames off the wall, and putting them in the box. She came across a small silver frame by her bed. It was a picture of JC and her by the beach in Hawaii. " So what's going on?" She asked as she brushed her hand across JC in the picture. She held the picture to her, and looked down as she decided to leave it on her nightstand for now.
" I need to talk to you." JC said.
" Okay, babe, are you alright?" She asked him. " So, how was the concert?"
" Yeah good." He said trying to sound happy. " The show was good too. The crowd was amazing."
"That's great. I'm happy for you guys." Sarah said as she sat on her bed.
" Thanks. So, I need to talk to you about something." JC took a deep breath, and closed his eyes." About us." He said.
" Yeah." Sarah said worried.
" The other night, I was in the hotel. I was laying on my bed, and I was thinking…wait I was hoping that you could have been there." JC said. Sarah didn't say anything, and she was just listening intently. " You see. I need someone who can be here." JC said into the phone.
" I am there. In a week, I'll really be there." Sarah said trying to get a reaction.
" I know that. But I need someone who would always be here." JC said.
" What do you mean?" Sarah said as she clenched the blanket under her.
" I care about you so much Sarah, and it kills me to know that I can't be there for you. You see, I want more than phone calls and postcards. I need someone who'll be there when I need her. " JC was trying to make sense, but he only sounded more confusing.
" I still don't understand." Sarah said trying to fight back the tears that were about to fall. " JC are you…are we?" Sarah closed her eyes tightly, and tears began to fall onto her bed when she opened her eyes again.
" I'm sorry. I can't do this. I don’t think that this was a good idea in the beginning. I knew it was going to turn out like this." JC said. He could hear muffled sniffles on the other end." Sarah?" He asked
" But Josh, I love you. I love you so much." Sarah sounded as if she were pleading.
" Sarah please. I know that you…but I can't. I care about you Sarah, but I don't…" He couldn't say it, but she knew what he was thinking.
" Okay. If that's what makes you happy." Sarah tried to sound collected, but she was breaking apart inside. She sighed, and wiped the tears from her face.
" Please Sarah. I need you to understand. I don't want to hurt you. That's the last thing I want to do to you." JC said sincerely. " But I can't do this anymore. I'm really sorry."
His words felt like a thousand knives cutting into her. She felt her heart shatter in her chest. She looked at the frame that sat beside her bed once again. " I'm sorry too Josh." She whispered, and took the frame. She held it close to her heart, and imagined his smiling face.
" I've got to go now. It's almost four am here. I'm so sorry. Goodbye." He said goodbye as if he was never going to see her again.
" You still coming out?" He asked her.
" I don't know." Sarah said. " Goodbye JC." She said. She heard the other line click, and she put down her phone.Sarah curled up into a ball on her bed. She couldn't sleep that night. She tossed in her bed, and every time she closed her eyes, she imagined JC smiling at her.