CHAPTER 5

"So this is it, huh?" asked Justin.
"I'm afraid so. We knew this day would come..." Joanna said.
"I know, baby, I know." said Justin. "You're going off to college and I'm going back on tour with 'N Sync." he completed.
"Yeah, I'm gonna try to make something out of myself and you're going back to your dream. Justin, you have this amazing career ahead of you..." she paused and looked him in the eyes. He just smiled and looked down at her hands that he was caressing. "...and I would rather die if I had to deprive you from it. I know how much you love performing and if you got away from it, how unhappy you would be." she finished.
"And I would be selfish if I asked you to live based on my crazy schedule. You deserve more than five-minute phone calls late at night or when I have a break, or just seeing me three or four days in a month. I know you need and want more out of a relationship, but I can't give this to you right now. I'm so sorry, Jo. I wish I could, but I...I..." he searched for the strength to continue, but she completed for him:
"Hey, it's ok. I do understand. We made this decision together, remember? This is for the best." she said. "But you know what they say, right?" she asked.
"What?"
"Don't cry because it's over, smiled because it happened." she said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. He just looked into her eyes and enveloped her in his arms, never wanting to let go.

"I just want you to know that I don't regret any of this. You made me realize how precious and short life is and I'm a better person because of you." she said.
"I love you, Jo. I really do." Justin told her.
"I love you too, J." she said. A silence fell upon them and Joanna began crying.
"Well, you better go now. They're waiting for you." she said. His lips met hers for the last time. A bittersweet farewell kiss.
"I'll see you." Justin said.
"Bye, J. Make me proud." she told him.

He gave her a weak smile and finally le go of her hands. Joanna waited for him to get in the bus and watched it drive down the road. She held the locket he had given her for her 18th birthday and said to herself:

"Now it's just you and me, buddy." and she walked into the house, trying to fight the tears.

In the bus...

"Hey, Bounce. It's good to have you back!" said a hyper Chris. All of the guys welcomed Justin and started talking about the tour. Although Justin was present, his mind and heart were somewhere else. He tried his best to stay focused, but he couldn't. So, he decided to rest.

"Guys, I'm really tired. I'll be in my bunk if you need anything." Justin said. The other just nodded their heads and looked at their younger "brother" walking away. They knew it was hard for him to leave Joanna behind. He fell in love with her and so did they. She had become their best friend, a sister, a confidant, another member of the group. It would take Justin a while, but they hoped he would be his old self again. For his own sake.

Justin stuffed his hands in his pockets and went to his bunk. That's when he noticed a folded piece of paper in his left pocket. He opened it and immediately recognized the hand-writing. It was Joanna's. He smiled to himself, jumped in his bunk, closed the curtain and started reading.

"Dearest Justin,

I don't know how to say good-bye to someone who became so dear to my heart. I tried so many times to put my feelings down in a piece of paper, but I couldn't. So, I found something that describes what I'm feeling right now and what you mean to me. Well, here it goes:

'If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I will think of you
Every step of the way
And I will always love you
I will always love you
You, my darling, you

Bittersweet memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please, don't cry
We both know I'm not what you need
And I will always love you
I will always love you

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you dreamed of
And I wish to you joy and happiness
But above all this
I wish you luck
And I will always love you...'

Follow your dreams and aim for the stars. And I'll be there, waiting for you.

All my love,
Joanna."

After he read her last words, he whipped the tears away and started reading the letter over again. Her words gave him strength to proceed. He could always look forward to brighter days. They also made him think about something his mom always told him: "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they're yours; if they don't, you were never meant to be." He smiled at the memory of her face and the moments they had experienced. After a few more minutes, he was asleep.

Someday