Autumn's Page

Autumn was lost to miscarriage on March 6, 2000. I was seven weeks pregnant. We were overjoyed to find out I was pregnant again. Of course I was terrified too. Even though my first miscarriage was very devestating I really believed it was something that wouldn't happen again. I know miscarriage is very common. However, after two miscarriages I became much more afraid it would happen again. I dreaded going to the bathroom, so afraid I would see spotting. And when I did see it, feeling that overwhelming sense of dread I had felt before. Knowing that there was nothing I could do to save my baby. Another life lost before it had even begun.

I believe that my loss of Autumn was due to a blighted ovumn. With both Noel and Daisy I had actually passed the baby and placenta but with Autumn there was only the tissue. After talking with my doctor he agreed with my opinion. I had no complications and he said it wasn't necessary for me to come in unless I wanted to. I thought it was very thoughtful of him. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a doctor's office where I'd probably run into babies and/or pregnant women. I had only told a handful of people I was pregnant so at least I didn't have to go through the ordeal of telling anyone what had happened.

We will give it one more try...