Otis awoke with a start. Gosh, what a horrible dream! In the dream, Otis was being beaten up in front of his entire fourth grade class by this mean kid with red hair. No matter how hard Otis tried, he couldn't seem to get a good punch in...and whenever he did, the red haired kid would just laugh. Nothing seemed to hurt him.
On the other hand, the red-haired kid's punches were hurting real bad. Bang! Pow! Sock! One after the other. Otis was down on the ground now, and the red-haired kid was on top of him, slugging him everywhere. In the background, Otis other kids laughing and yelling. "Get him! Get him!" One bad dream.That was for sure. As Otis sat up in bed, the dream started to go away a little. But Otis didn't want it to go away completely--not just yet. First, he needed to figure out who the red-haired kid was. Otis knew if he just stuck with it long enough, he'd figure it out. Otis was very smart about that kind of stuff. Even though you didn't have to be smart to know that all the things that took place in dreams came from things that happened to you during your real life. The difficulty was figuring outwhich waswhich. That was the problem with dreams--they mixed everything all up.
I wonder who invented dreams anyway? Otis thought. They really don't seem to serve any purpose except to confuse you. Otis fluffed up his pillow and sat up straight in bed. His bed was a total mess. Covers thrown all over the place. Blankets all twisted up into knots. He must've really been tossing and turning. Well, after all, it had been a bad dream. Who liked getting beatenup and laughed at in front their entire fourth grade class? Nobody, that's who!
Then all of a sudden, Otis figured it out. Craig Sheibal!That's who the red-haired kid was. The real Craig Sheibal didn't have red hair. He had brown hair cut in a butch, and he was real big and kind of pudgy. He was also ugly. One day after school Otis had gotten into a fight with Craig Sheibal. To be honest, Otis had started the fight. Craig Shiebal sat in front of Otis in Geography, and during one whole period, Otis kept flicking Craig Sheibal's ear. The thing was, Craig Sheibal had the perfect ears for flicking. They stuck straight out from his head. What with his butch haircut and all, the ears were simply irresistible. So every couple of seconds or so, Otis would take a real good flick at one ear or the other.
"Cut it out!" Craig Sheibal said. He woudn't turn around when he said it. He just said it sitting straight forward in his seat. Otis thought that was kind of odd.
"Cut what out?" Otis said. The ear he'd just flicked was turning a very nice shade of red.
?Otis would then wait for a few moments, then-- Otis would get flick! He'd give one of those stick out ears another real good tweaking. Otis really liked the way it felt on his finger when he'd flick the ear. It was almost as good as a flicking a booger--only in a different sort of way.
"Stop it!" Craig Sheibal said. He still woudn't turn around.
Otis enjoyed this nonstop activity for the entire rest of Geography.
After class, Otis and a bunch of his pals were walking towards the lunch area. Craig Sheibal was walking along in front of them. Otis figured since he'd gotten away with flicking his ears during an entire class he could have some more fun with him.
"Watch this!" Otis said to his pals. Very quietly, Otis came up behind Craig Sheibal, and then--thwam!--with a quick chop, he knocked Craig Sheibal's books out of his hand. The books went scattering all over the pavement. Immediatley. all of Otis' freinds started laughing.
"Nice shot," said Chris Hinshaw.
"Thanks," said Otis. Actually, he was feeling a little bit guility. After all, Craig Sheibal hadn't really done anything to him. Otis and his friends kept on heading towards the lunch area. Otis was so engrossed in his conversation taht he didn't see Craig Sheibal, who'd stopped to gather up his books, coming up behind him. If he would have, he wouldn't have felt so good, because Craig Sheibal had this very nasty expression on his face. A second later, Craig Sheibal came up right next to Otis. He was kind of huffing and puffing from having to walk real fast to catch up with him.
Then, he tapped Otis on the shoulder. Otis turned around. For a second the two boys just stared at one another. It seemed as if Craig Sheibal was trying to figure out something to say.
"Big man, huh?" Craig Sheibal finally said. "What?" Otis asked, feeling a little queasy in the stomach.
"Big man....real big man," Craig Sheibal said again.
It was kind of a dumb thing to say, but that's what he said. The rest of Otis's friends backed away a little bit. Everybody knew what was coming.
Otis didn't want to be a chicken, especially not in front of his friends. He put his books down on the ground, ready to accept the challenge. Craig Sheibal put his books down too. Otis got a real good tough-guy expression on his face. The problem was, he didn't feel so tough. Otis was a pretty good fighter. His favorite move was a head lock, followed by a leg trip. Once you got another guy down on the ground, you could pretty much rap things up real quickly.
The problem was, Craig Sheibal was about twice as big as Otis. Well, not quite twice as big. But he was pretty darn big. He didn't have a lot of muscles or anything. What he had was a lot of meat on his bones. Where Otis probably weight 70 pounds at best, Craig Sheibal was well over a hundred. Also he had no neck. Otis figured Craig Sheibal would probably grow up someday to be a football player or a truck driver or something like that.
"Big man, huh?" Craig Sheibal said it again. Apparently he didn't have a very good imagination. "Yeah," Otis said. "Whaddaya ya gonna do about it? As soon as he said it, Otis knew it sounded just as stupid as what Craig Sheibal had said. But this wasn't about saying smart things. This was about fighting. And the look on Craig Sheibal's nasty freckled face, the way his mean little pig-eyes were all scrunched up, Otis knew that there was no talking his way out of this one. Especially not with all his friends watching. Nope, there was only one thing to do.
So he did it.
Otis balled up his fist and hit Craig Sheibal square in the nose. It was a pretty good punch too... Otis could tell from the sound of it. The bad part was that after the punch, Craig Sheibal just stood there and stared at Otis. The expression on his face hadn't even changed. He still looked just as mad and ugly as before. This was definitely not a good sign.
After that everything seemed to suddenly go into slow motion. Otis saw Craig Sheibal ball up one big meaty fist. He even saw the fist coming at him. It seemed to be traveling so slooooooowly....and for a second the whole thing seemd like he was inone of those Popeye cartoons. What happened after that, Otis had to learn later on from his friends.They all gave approximately the same version of the story, so Otis was pretty sure it was fairly accurate.
After Craig Sheibal's fist had connected with Otis' face, Otis simply fell straight backwards. His head hit the pavement with a terriffic bonk! Nobody was quite sure whether it was the punch that'd knocked Otis out, or the part where his head hit the cement. If that had been it, things would've been bad enough. But, apparently after Otis was knocked out, he'd started twitching around on the pavement. His legs were kicking this way and that, real crazy like. Craig Sheibal had been so petrified by the sight of the twitching Otis that he'd picked up his books and ran from the lunch area. Otis's friends tried to revive him, but they weren't having much luck. Poor Otis just kept lying on the ground, squirming and twitching away. Finally, it was Coach Hanna, the gym teacher who'd had to take care of the mess. When he saw Otis lying there, twitching all over the place, he'd put a cold rag on his head. Then he told Bob Sunseri to run over to the nurses office and get some help.
The first thing Otis remembered was when he woke up later in the nurses office. Actually, he felt pretty good, despite the punch he'd taken. He knew that being in the nurses office would also mean that hed' get out of school for the rest of the day. And he knew that he'd get a lot of sympathy from everyone, which was one of his favorite things. But when Otis looked in the mirror and saw the huge purple shiner already forming around his left eye, he didn't feel so hot any longer. For the next couple of days, Otis stayed home nursing his eye. A few of the guys came buy--each one insisted on telling him the whole story again, in all its glorious detail. They acted like they felt sorry for Otis, but he could imagine them all laughing about what had happend when he wasn't around. "Didja see the way he was squirming around on the ground like that?! Man, he looked so stupid!" "Yeah...what a wuss!" Yeah, they were probably making fun of him right this minute. Otis wasn't mad at them for it. He would've done the same thing if he was them. And the fact, was--in his heart of hearts--Otis knew he'd gotten just what he deserved. You just didn't go around picking on guys for no reason like that.
But Otis's sense of fair play didn't last long. For the next two days he stayed in bed (he didn't really have to stay in bed, but whenever he did his mom would bring him lunch, and she'd let him watch TV all day, so he figured he might as well take advantage of the situation), And during his time in bed, Otis did only one thing. It was one of his favorite things in the world to do.
He plotted out his revenge. Whether it'd been his fault or not quickly became an unimportant detail. Craig Sheibal was going to get his. That's just the way it had to be. Once Otis started thinking about the revenge part, his black eye and his wounded pride didn't bother him very much anymore. So what if there was a little good natured joking at his expense? No, the thought of revenge--the cool sweet taste of it....the absolute sureness of it....made Otis feel wonderful. The best part was, Otis knew exactly what he was going to do to Craig Sheibal.
He was going to kill him. There was simply no other alternative.
Otis's next three days were spent thinking of all sorts of glorious methodologies by which to bring his plan of action into reality. He knew he could take his time with it. In fact that would make it all the sweeter. He could already see Mr. and Mrs. Sheibal at their son's funeral. He could see fat little pig-faced Craig lying there in his coffin. Oh, it was too wonderful!
There was only problem with Otis' plan. Approximately two months after the incident, Craig Sheibal got hit in the head with a baseball during a Little League game. The doctors said his death had been immediate. When Otis' heard the news he was furious.
By that time, he'd filled several notebooks full of ideas and plans by which he was going to bring the life of Craig Sheibal to a hideous and terrible conclusion. Otis had never spent such a wondeful two montsh in his entire life. He'd never realized that he'd had such a terriffic imagination. He thanked God for giving him the opportunity to discover this amazing gift. And now Craig Sheibal had to go and get thwacked on the head by a baseball and die. What a stupid jerk!
Otis simply could not get over the unfairness of it all. Well, anyway, that's who the guy in the dream was, without a doubt. Craig Sheibal. At least the dream hadn't been a total waste, now that Otis had figured out the source of his demon. Otis' reverie was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. Bang, bang, bang!
"Let me in!" somebody on the other side of the door said. "Somebody's at the door!" Otis yelled. BANG BANG BANG!
Geez, doesn't anybody around here do anything except me? Grumpily, Otis got out of bed and ansered the door. It was Jerry Pierce, the kid across the street. Jerry was one half of Jeff and Jerry, who were twins. The Pierce twins were a grade younger than Otis; Normally Otis wouldn't hang out with younger kids--bad for the image. But Otis liked the Pierce twins., mainly because the Pierce's hero-worshipped him. No matter what Otis' did, the Pierce's loved it. Especially when he did one of his tricks on people. That was their favorite. They were always telling their friend Tommy Jones about all the neat stuff Otis did.
The problem was that the twins mom and dad, Si and Dorothy Pierce, had told them that they weren't supposed to play with Otis anymore. They said Otis was a "bad influence" or something like that. That came after the time that Otis had scared the twins' Grandma Molly with a suitcase full of snakes. Actually, there weren't really any snakes in the suitcase. Otis just pretended there were--and it had worked. Grandma Molly, who was scared of everything it seemed, had been sitting for Jeff and Jerry when Otis got the idea. It just popped right into his head, like they always did. Immediately, Otis went and pulled an old suitcase out of the closet and carried it over to the Pierces house. Bang, bang, bang; he knocked firecely on the door.
"SCHNAKES! SCHNAKES! SHNAKES FOR SALE! Otis started saying it real loud even before anyone had opened the door. Pretty soon the door opened a crack and Grandma Molly peered out. "They're not here," she said crossly. She didn't much like Otis, and frankly, the feeling was mutual.
"SHNAKES FOR SALE! Otis said again. He liked the way it sounded when he said it. 'SHNAKES?" Grandma Molly said. "Vaddaya talkin'....shnakes? "SHNAKES FOR SALE!" Otis said again, smiling toothily.
Grandma Molly looked at Otis and his huge suitcase like he was crazy. "I've got a whole bunch of 'em in here. All kinds. You wanna buy one?" Grandma Molly just kept staring. S "I found 'em out in the garden. One of them is almost 3 feet long!" "Oh, my!" said Grandma Molly. "You meansnakes!" "Yeah," smiled Otis. " Shnakes! You wanna buy one?"
"I should say not!" Grandam Molly said, closing the door a little bit. "They won't hurt you," Otis said. "Here, look." And with that, Otis opened the suitcase and thrust it smack in Grandma Molly's face. As he did he yelled SCHNAKES! real loud. He thought it would add to the effect.
''YEEEEEEEEE!" Grandma Molly yelled, slamming the door in Otis' face. 'YEEEEEEEE! YEEEEEEEE! YEEEEEEE! Otis could hear her yelling some more from behind the door. Chuckling to himself, Otis went back across the street and put the empty suitcase back in the closet.
That was fun! he thought. I'll have to figure out some more stuff to do to her later on. After that incident, Mr. and Mrs. Pierce told the twins they thought it wasn't such a good idea for them to play with Otis anymore. But it was actually the incident with the pea shooters that finished things off for good.
It happened one Saturday afternoon, when Otis and the Pierce's had taken the Rapid Transit into downtown Cleveland. Their plan was to go to the movies, then afterward to Snyder's Magic Shop--one of Otis' favorite places in the entire world. In addition to buying magic tricks-- which Otis had a growing collection of--he'd always find something new and wonderful at Snyder's. Whoopee cushions, hand buzzers, itching powder, fake dog doody, fake throwup. One time he even bought a pack of cards with naked ladies on them.
"Fifty-two beauties," old Mr. Snyder had said as he pulled the pack out from a special place behind the counter. "Nice, eh?" "How much?" Otis said, trying to sound casual. "Five dollars. Cheap." said Mr. Snyder. Otis noticed that the old man ha long hairs growing out of his ears. Five dollars was Otis' entire allowance for the next two weeks. But he knew he had to have those cards. He opened his wallet and counted out three singles. Then he proceeded to empty out his pockets, dumping all the change--much of it which was covered in fuzzballs -- onto the counter. Otis only had four dollars and sixty-seven cents, but Mr. Snyder let him have the cards anyway. "You can pay the rest to me next time you come in." The old man smiled, exposing a brown set of teeth. Otis was a good customer and Mr. Snyder knew it. Besides, he'd over-charged Otis for the naked cards. Still, they were worth it, Otis figured.
Anyhow, on this particular Saturday, the plan was to go to the movies first, then head over to Snyder's. They'd already decided--that is Otis had decided (the twins would do whatever he wanted) on seeing the double horror feature that was playing at the Hippodrome: The Creature From The Black Lagoon and Tarantula. Two extremely cool movies. Actually, "Tarantula" wasn't so hot, because Otis recognized the actor that played the part of the mad scientist as Leo G. Carrol, this guy who had a regular part on the TV show, "Topper." Topper was about two ghosts, Maryanne and George Kirby, who come back to live in this old house with the Leo G. Carrol character (who was called Cosmo Topper in the show) after they'd been killed in a ski accident. It was an OK show, actually. Otis liked the Kirby's dog, this mangy old basset hound named Butkis best of all. He also kind of had a crush on Maryanne Kirby. TV actors shouldn't be allowed to play in movies--especially great movies like Tarantula, Otis thought. It ruins it for you because you can never forget that you're watching some guy from a TV show. Besides that, in order to play the mad scientist, Leo G. Carrol had been made to wear thisvery bad wig. Plus he had this fake pair of eyebrows that were way too bushy so that instead of looking like a mad scientist he just looked stupid. So Otis was glad when the tarantula, who'd grown really huge from getting an overdose of radiation, came back and ate Leo G. Carroll, who was, Otis figured, just getting his comeuppance for giving the spider the stuff that'd made him gigantic in the first place. Otis noticed that during parts of Tarantula (and even in some parts of The Creature From The Black Lagoon, which wasn't scary at all) that Jerry Pierce--the smaller and nastier of the twins--was covering his eyes with his hands. He was trying to hide it, but you could tell that's what he was doing.
"Scardey cat!" Otis taunted. "Am not!" said Jerry.
"Big baby!'
"Am not!"
!"Chicken"
"Shut up!"
Jerry took his hands away, trying to pretend he was scratching his nose or something. But later, when the spider came back to eat Leo G. Carroll's nurse (who had these incredible boobs that stuck straight out from her chest) Otis saw that Jerry was covering his eyes again.
"Sissy!" Otis said, flicking Jerry's ear.
"Cut it out!" Jerry said.
After the movies, the three boys had wandered up Main Street stopping for a bit to wander around in Haley's book store. Otis wanted to see if they had any back issues of Mad, his favorite magazine in the entire world. Otis had started collecting the back issues of Mad, which had started out as comic books. He now had almost every single issue except numbers one, three, and six, which were extremely rare.
But there were no back issues today. Oh well. Otis didn't have enough money anyhow.
After Haley's they stopped for a butterscotch sundae at Payless Drug Store. You could get a huge sundae for a quarter. Plus the lady that worked behind the counter (she had this incredible beehive hairdo that Otis loved) would always give Otis extra butterscotch on his sundae. Otis had the feeling that the lady had worked at the drugstore her entire life. But somehow she didn't seem to mind. She was always happy, singing these corny old songs like "Hot Diggety, Dog Diggety," and stuff like that. After their sundaes, the boys headed down Main Street, cutting across the alley over to Third where Snyder's was.
Before going inside, Otis stopped to look over all the neat stuff that was displayed in Snyder's window. The window was chock full of all these neat things like monster masks, magic tricks and jokes you could play on people--like the squirting flower (stick it in your lapel and when someone goes to smell it, they get squirted in the face) and the dime that sticks to the table so that you can't pull it off. There were also colorful boxes that contained special, secret items. Otis' didn't know what was in the colored boxes, but it had to be stuff at least as good as naked lady playing cards....maybe even better! Also, there were record albums that had dirty words on them, called "Pardon My Bloopers, "and another record called "The Krepetation Contest." Nobody knew what Krepitation meant, but Otis friend Bob Stinziano had the record, which was actually about a farting match between these two guys named Lord Windismere and Paul Boomer. Bob Stinzano's mom had made him break the record into little pieces after she found out what it was about. At any rate, the window looking was absolutely necessary before going inside the magic shop. It was part of the ritual. Once inside, Snyder's kind of dark, and the place had a funny smell to it. Otis thought maybe the smell came from Mr. Snyder, who lived in a room in back of the shop.
First, the boys went in the back of the store and looked at the magic tricks, which, except for the crummy ones, were far too expensive for Otis to seriously consider. Some of them were absolutely wonderful. There were complicated looking boxes with Oriental drwaings on them, where you could make things appear and disappear. There were hats that you could actually pull rabbits out of. There was even this one trick--which was a box that you could put a person in--and actually saw the person in half! That trick was over a hundred dollars. Otis figured if he ever became a real magician, he'd have to have that one in his collection for sure.
After looking at the magic tricks the boys saunterd up to the front of the store where the jokes and gags were kept.
"Neato," said Jeff, picking up a small packet that said CIGARETTE STINKERS. They were little things that you stuck in a cigarette, which after the person lit them, would make the entire room smell really terrible. "I'd love to use these on my Uncle Benny!" Jeff said. "He smokes about fifty million cigs a day!" Meanwhile, Jerry was trying on a Frankenstein mask. It wasn't a very good one. "That looks so fake!" said Otis. "So?" said Jerry nastily. Otis didn't really like Jerry very much, to be honest. But the twins always had to go everyplace together. You either had to take one of them or neither. That's just the way it was and there was nothing to be done about it.
Otis already had most of the good gags in Snyder's. He needed a new whoopee cushion, because his was getting kind of worn out from use. It still sounded good and all--just like a real fart--but the picture on the front of it was getting worn so that you couldn't see it very well. In the picture, a woman is sitting down on a couch with a shocked expression on her face. The words POOP! POOP! are coming out of her rear end. Meanwhile all the people around her are laughing.
Otis really liked that picture. But Otis knew that he didn't' have enough money for a new whoopee cushion. Not today, anyhow. He'd have to wait and save up his allowance for the next couple of weeks. Maybe he could "borrow" a couple of dollars from his mothers purse. Otis did this only on special occasions (like when he needed money for comics and didn't have enough). So far, fortunately, nobody had noticed.
"Hey Mr. Snyder," Otis said. "You got anything for ah...." He dug into his pocket. All he came up were were a couple of fuzzball covered quarters and a nickel.
".....fifty-five cents?"
Mr. Snyder looked up grumpily from his copy of Confidential magazine. Otis got a look at the cover, which said, "SHOCKING SECRETS. GUY MADISON FOUND IN NATALIE WOODS APARTMENT....WEARING ONLY HIS SOCKS!! Otis didn't know who Natalie Wood was, but Guy Madison was the star of Wild Bill Hickock. Otis had a very difficult time imaging him wearing only his socks. Pretty soon, Mr. Snyder shuffled over. As he did, the funny smell in the room got stronger. So, itis him, after all! Yucko.
"Did you say, fifty-five cents?" Mr. Snyder said. He didn't look too happy about it. "Yeah," Otis said. "I'll have more next week...."
Mr. Snyder started fiddling around with some stuff underneath the counter. Otis knew that Mr. Snyder, who was a real cheapskate, would find something. He always did. If you had any dough on you at all, he'd figure out something he could sell you. Finally, after much noodling around, Mr. Snyder pulled out a long yellow tube-like object from underneath the counter and laid it down on the glass.
"A straw! ? Otis said incredulously. "No, dummy. A pea shooter!" Otis' eyes brightened. Jeff and Jerry, their interest sparked, joined him at the counter.
"How much?" Otis asked. "Thirty five cents," said Mr. Snyder, his beady eyes sparkling. Otis pondered for a moment. "How about the ammo.....how much is that? Mr. Snyder ducked back underneath the counter.
Then he deposited a couple of small sacks on the glass.
"Nickel a bag."
"I'll take em!" Otis said, plunking his money down. "That's one pea shooter and two bags of beans."
Jeff and Jerry were already digging into their pockets. Between the two of them they had over a dollar in change.
"We'll take two more pea shooters," and ah....six bags of beans," Otis said, finalizing the purchase. He turned to the twins. "You guys'll loan me the money for the Rapid to get back home, right?"
Jeff shook his head yes, a bit unhappily. Otis had a bad habit of borrowing money from people and not paying it back right away.
Out in front of the store, the boys eagerly dug into the brown paper sack containing their purchase. Otis' pea shooter was a beauty. It was bright yellow with white stripes. Jeff's shooter was a bright red striped one, and Jerry's was cobalt blue. Each boy took a sackfull of beans, and stuck one in his jacket pocket. Without further adieu, Otis ripped his packet of ammo open and shoved a handfull of beans into his mouth. His eyes surveyed the surrounding territory, looking for his first target of the day. The downtown sidewalks were extremely crowded at this time of the afternoon. There were people all over the place, all kind of scrunched togehter. The only question was--which one? A few people ahead of them, a very fat lady's extremely large rear end seemed to present itself to the boys. All three of them looked at one another at the same moment.
Otis put his pea shooter to his mouth, sucked in a lungfull of air, then blew. Th-wooooosh.
THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! "YOWCH!" the woman said, grabbing her buttox. She turned around and scanned the crowd, her brows furrowed. Fortunately, the sidewalk was so full of people that she couldn't make out who the culprit was.
Jeff and Jerry's eyes lit up. Each of them stuffed a mouthfull of beans into their mouths. Otis also took another mouthful.
"On three," Otis said through his mouthfull of beans.
"One....two.......
THWACK, THWACK, THWACK! THWACK, THWACK, THWACK! THWACK, THWACK, THWACK!
"YOW-WOWCH!" the woman screamed, grabbing her fanny.
She spun around, her face red as a beet.
It was Jerry who ruined it. He started laughing real loud. "Hey! Hey....you kids!" the woman shouted, her eyebrows furrowing like an angry beetle. The three boys took off running into the crowd, quickly darting around a corner. Otis didn't look back to see if they were really being chased, though he imagined that the fat lady had turned into a super-sprinter and was right on their tail. A few blocks later--winded--they finally stopped, checking behind them.
No fat lady. "That was cool!" Jeff said, panting hard.
"Yeah!" Jerry agreed, reaching into his pocket for more beans. "Hold on!" Otis said. "These are extremely valuable. You don't realize how fast they're gonna go. We've got to pick our targets wisely."
The twins nodded in unison, as Otis delivered his sagely advice. But even as he said it, Otis slipped several more beans into his mouth. A moment later a yellow cab turned the corner. Otis raised his pea shooter to his mouth. Rat-a-tat. Rat-a-tat-tat! A hail of beans bounced off the taxi window. The cars' tires squealed as the driver responded to the rain of beans that spattered his window. For a second, he almost lost control of the car.
"Hee hee!," Jerry laughed, his face all red. Jeff was already loading up. A bus full of people was pulling up to the curb. Jeff looked for an open window. Sure enough, a stubble-faced man, his head buried in a newspaper, had his window almost totally rolled down.
Th-wooooooosh! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! "YOWCH! The man grabbed the side of his face where the blast had hit him.
"Heeee hee!" went Jeff. Otis couldn't resist. He dumped the rest of the pack in his mouth. They had the rhythm now. A car with a couple of kids seated next to their mother was just pulling up to a red light.
Otis took aim. Whoooooooooooooooosh!
THWACKETY THWACKETY THWACK!
"YOWCHH! wailed the kid nearest the window, grabbing his reddened face. At the same time the kid next to him started laughing. His mother turned around and slapped the laughing kid, causing him to burst into tears. '"Nice shot!" said Jeff.
"Thanks," said Otis. The boys resumed their trek down the street. "How many bags we got left?" Jerry asked.
Otis dug into the paper sack. "Six." They were heading back down Main Street now, towards Terminal Tower, where the Rapid Transit station was. When they got there, Otis had an idea.
"Come on!" he said. "This is going to be good! " He headed over to the elevators and punched the UP button. Soon the bell dinged, and the door opened. Inside was a disheveled old elevator man who looked as if he'd been there for a hundred years. "Where to, lads?" said the elevator man. "Top floor," said Otis.
They'd hidden their beans and peashooters in their jacket pockets, so nothing looked unusual.
Within what seemed like a matter of seconds, the elevator bell dinged. The light over the door lit up on number 31. "Here ya go boys," the Elevator Man said, picking at a sore on his cheek. The three boys immediately headed for the roof garden. Usually, there were a lot of people up on the roof garden. This was the absolute best view of downtown Cleveland. You could see all the way out to Lake Erie, where all the boats and barges were kept. And on a clear day you could see not only the entire down town, but almost all the way back to Shaker Heights, where the boys lived. They even had these telescopes, which if you had a dime, you could see closeups of all kinds of neat stuff.
Today only couple of a few families were up on the roof garden. Some kid had lost his dime in one of the telescopes, and his dad, trying to play the hero, was banging on the thing, trying to get the dime to come back out.
Otis and the twins sauntered over to the other side of the roof, where there were no people to except themselves. Otis leaned over the edge and looked down. There, down on the sidewalk were were hundreds of teeny tiny people, all scurrying to and fro, like little ants. They all looked so small. What was even weirder, Otis thought, was that they were all going somewhere. Each and every one of them had a destination in mind. If they didn't Otis thought, they wouldn't' be walking. They'd just be sitting there or standing still or something. After all, nobody just walked unless they had someplace to walkto.
Jerry leaned over the side and took a look. "Wow!" he said. "It's almost like looking out of an airplane. "You've never been on an airplane," said his brother. "Shutup, stupid,"Jerry replied. ,p>Meanwhile Otis was already loading up with a mouthfull of beans. He leaned over the edge, put his yellow pea shooter to his mouth and fired. The problem was, it was such a long way down, that the peas spread out on the way. When they hit, they had no impact. In fact, you couldn't even see if they hit anything at all. Jerry tried a mouthfull. So did Jeff. Same thing. The peas just seemed to disappeared into nowhere on the way down.
"This is crummy!" Jeff said.
"Yeah, we need something bigger.....like water balloons or something!" Jerry offered. "How 'bout this?" Otis said, picking up a large chunk of cement that'd chipped off the side of the building. "No way!" Jerry said. "You might kill somebody!"
"Yeah," Otis said, disappointedly. "We could pee off," Jeff suggested. "Nah," Otis said. "Last time we did that, the old lady we hit ran around and got the store guard. I got grounded for a week." "Let's go," said Jeff. "I wanna get back home in time to watch Science FictionTheatre." They left their roof dejectedly, their mission having failed. But on the Rapid trip back home, the pea shooters proved to provide more than ample amusement. The Rapid Transit car proved to be a perfect hiding place from which to shoot.
Everytime the trolley would stop at a stoplight, the three boys would let the passengers in the cars alongside the rapid have it with a mouthfull of beans. Thwackety, thwack. Thwack, thwack, thwack! Some of the car passengers, after getting thwacked in the face, would start yelling at each other, figuring the shots had come from the person in the neighboring car.
By the time the boys got off at their stop, they had only one bag of beans left between them. "I told you these things went fast," Otis said. The boys split the remaining beans up evenly. There was just about enough left for one good onslaught. As Otis and the twins exited the Shaker Square Rapid station, a perfect target seemed to magically materialize before them.
A rather rotund woman was shuffling along front of them, carrying a huge paper sack. The woman was walking very slowly, as if the sack were extremely heavy. The woman was all bundled up, wearing a gigantic (and very dumb looking) hat, and a rather shabby grey overcoat. Everything on the woman was covered up except one area of her neck, which was quite nicely exposed. The neck just seemed to be begging for attention. The boys said not a word. They each took a mouthfull of beans, and followed the woman, staying a few steps behind her. She was really struggling with her sack now, panting with every step. Jeff and Jerry watched Otis for the signal. As the woman started to cross Van Aken Road, Otis gave the high sign.
Th-whooosh!
THWACKETY, THWAK THWACK THWACK! BLAPPPPPPP! SMACKO! Direct hit!! ''YOWCH!" the woman howled, clapping both her hands to the back of her neck. Naturally, as she did so she dropped her sack. The contents, which appeared to be mostly drugstore items, spilled out all over the pavement, many of them breaking as they hit the ground Otis, Jeff and Jerry just stood there--monentarily in shock. The woman turned on her heel, immediately spotting the culprits.
Uh oh.
'MOM!" Jeff and Jerry said in unison. Mrs. Pierce, forgetting about her spilled and broken items immediately came over and grabbed a twin by each ear. "YOU!" she hissed.
'YOWWWWCH," said Jeff and Jerry in unison. Otis just stood there and watched. He knew Mrs Pierce didn't have another hand to grab him by an ear, so he safe for the time being. Still, Otis knew that when he got home he was in for it. Mrs. Pierce always told on him, even if it was just something little. So for sure she was going to tell this time. Jeff watched as Mrs. Pierce dragged the twins off, kicking and screaming. It sounded like Jerry had started to cry. She didn't even stop to pick up her things, leaving them instead scattered all over the sidewalk.
Oh well! Otis thought. Might as well enjoy myself before I get grounded. Just then a car turned the corner and slowed to a halt at the stop light. Inside, sat a jowly faced man. He was picking his nose.
A smile appearing on his face, Otis dumped the last of the beans into his mouth and took aim.
(br>
(to be continued)
Hey gang, if you want to read more adventures of OTIS, click right here.z
© harsh reality productions, inc., 1998
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Meaningless List
Shorty story link weinies...
A fist in your face....
fish worship....is it right?
deport all Mexicans Now!!!!!
Sorry, we're not here to take a message and please don't call back.....
A girl I wuz in love with
