Paco: Good morning everyone! And welcome to my happy hour! Before I get started I would like to say, narrator I heard what you said fool! Now second, I want to address those of you who believe that Paco is just a gimmick! Well it’s 10 o’clock eastern time and look what I have with me! That’s right two tequila bottles so next time you talk about Paco you got to remember one thing, whether is breakfast lunch or dinner, Paco is always getting DRUNK!!!
[He goes over to his desk and sits down.]
Paco: Well tonight’s show is special why? Well we will be doing 3 major things. One, we will discuss the PPV, it was a helluva PPV and a lot of things took place that I must admit, blew my mind. Second we will talk about last night’s Friday Night Heat. As most of you know, the show wasn’t on the air, but your friend Paco has got all the scoops! Third we will talk to our guest, a very lovely guest, who is hotter than the sun right now! So without further ado let’s get to HEADLINE NEWZ!!!!!
Paco: In the news today is THE BAD BLOOD PPV!!! Let’s talk about it yes? Thursday night we crowned two new champions that’s right. The surprising new comer Kylo in only his second match, won the Hardcore Title. He defeated HardKore King after Ruff Ryder didn’t show up, and Enigma was attacked by Bad Blood.. Enigma, yeah right. Also my champion and yours, The Rock won the Intercontinental Title! This is the first title he has won here in the ICWF, and he won it from the man himself, JOHNNY HUNTER! Hunter all of the sudden has 2 losses on his record, there was a rumor going around that because of this he might retired, but he cleared up in a press conference that they were all rumors.. Also at the PPV we saw the lovely Sable, outlast all the young women talent in the Battle Royal and became the #1 contender for that title. Now, last time she fought AA for the title and what a match it was, but we will get to that later! What else happened last night? Oh yes, The Eliminators surprised the world by defeating Bad Blood and retaining their titles, I for one, is very shocked, but than again, they won thanx to the Enigmatic One. Enigma, yeah right. It all came down to the Main Event my gente! Dean vs Austin, this match was a great, great match! Who was the special guest referee? Enigma! That’s right Enigma, yeah right. Well they fought for almost 45 minutes before it came to a tragic ending, Dean hit Austin with the Razorback and had him pinned but Enigma refused to pin him! Let’s go back to last minutes of this match!
Austin gets up and gets on Enigma’s face. Enigma does his “I’m the ref routine” and Austin backs down. Austin picks up Dean and whips him to the ropes, powerslam by Austin! Austin picks up Dean again, he goes to the ropes clothesline attempt misses, Austin bounces off the ropes Lou Thez Press! NO! RAZORBACK on Austin!!!-
Miller: Again Dean is able to hold on, and now he hit Austin with his finisher, he’s got Austin covered!!!!
Enigma: One! Two!……………
-Enigma stops counting..-
Miller: What?! That was three! Why doesn’t he count to three!!!!?
-Enigma gets up and goes to the corner and turns his back on Dean, Dean gets up all pissed and goes up to Enigma and turns him around, Enigma swings at him but Dean ducks, he picks Enigma up and drops him with the Razorback too!! Dean gets up and screams and the crowd who cheer him on! Austin gets up and turns Dean around and gives him the stunner!!!! He covers Dean but Enigma is still down. -
Miller: What’s going on here? Paco wake your drunken behind up you missing a hell of a thing going on here!!!
-Austin sees Enigma down and goes to the outside, he grabs a beer from a fan and gets back inside the ring, he splashes it on Enigma’s mask and Enigma starts to wake up, Austin covers Dean again, and Enigma counts!-
Enigma: One! Two! (kick out!)
Miller: Dean kicked out of the stunner! Oh man!
Paco: What’s going on?
Miller: LOOK!
-Austin gets up all pissed, he picks up Dean but Dean fights him off with lefts and rights, Dean has Austin on the ropes and clotheslines him over the top rope! Dean turns around and sees Enigma, Enigma tries to get out of the ring and Dean is able to grab him by his head, (Austin gets up and goes inside the ring) Enigma goes through the ropes but Dean hangs on to his mask and it comes off!-
Miller: Enigma’s mask is off! What does he look like let me see him!
Paco: his mask? What…ugh…
-The crowd is stunned as they see who Enigma is…Enigma is on the ropes, he turns around to face Dean, Dean gets a surprise look and says “you bastard” as he sees who it is!-
Paco: BOSS!? JEFE?! What the hell mon! Enigma is Mr. McDougg?!!!
-The crowd starts to boo and Austin gets in the ring, Dean hits the Owner with a right hand and he falls to the outside, he throws the mask on top of him, Austin comes from behind Dean and turns him around!-
Miller: I can believe Mr. McDougg would do such a thing, and why!?
-Dean gets turn around but is able to kick Austin in the ribs, he picks him up and drops him with another Razorback! (another ref rushes to the ring) He pins Austin as he sees the referee..-
Ref: one! Two! THREE!!!!!!!
-The crowd explodes with cheers as the bell rings and Dean retains his title-
Announcer: Here is your winner and STILL ICWF Heavyweight Champion of the World!!! DEAN!!!!!!
Miller: I guess whatever plan Mr. McDougg had backfired on him!!
[Back to the show]
Paco: Before I get any further let me get a few things of my chest. First, I can believe the Owner would stoop so low. Second I’m sorry for passing out, but I was drunk like hell. Third, even thought all this controversy took place, Dean is still champion. But it didn’t end there, let’s go to the rest of the footage!
-As Dean gets up, Enigma…errr… the Owner grabs the world title and gets inside the ring, he comes face to face with Dean, and Dean tells him to give him his title, The Owner looks at the title and then nails Dean with it!-
Miller: What! WHY!??!!!
-The crowd boos as Austin gets up, he looks at Mr. McDougg and then they look at Dean as he slowly gets up, Austin grabs Dean from behind and holds him for Mr. McDougg to hit him…-
Paco: Why is my boss attacking Dean! He is a hell of a guy, I mean Mr. McDougg is!
[DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!?! Blasts as the fans jump to their feet and Mr. McDougg gets a scared look in his face.]
Paco: here comes the people’s champ! And IC champ!
- The Rock rushes to the ring and gets inside, he stands between the Owner and Dean who is still being held by Austin. The Rock looks at Mr. McDougg and pushes him, the crowd cheers as the Rock turns around to face Austin, he pushes Austin too and he lets go of Dean. Dean is bleeding a little and the Rock grabs him so he doesn’t fall-
Miller: What is going on here Paco?
Paco: Isn’t it obvious? The Rock came to rescue…HEY!
-The Rock drops Dean with the Rock Bottom and the crowd is more stunned then ever, then the Rock gets up and looks at Austin and the Owner and then they all start laughing and give eachother high fives…-
Miller: This is unbelievable, why would the owner join up with these two? And dress himself as Enigma?
-The Owner grabs a mic and the boos die a little…-
ODJ: SURPRISE! SURPRISE! You all are a bunch of fools, you all bought Enigma making his big return to the ring.. HA you are so stupid!!!!!!
Paco: even me boss?
ODJ: What you have here is what I would like to call from now on, CORPORATE BLOOD!!!!
Miller & Paco: Corporate Blood?!
ODJ: That’s right, you have the Great One, and the Toughest SOB, with the greatest mind of in the ICWF! You all are probably wondering why? Why Mr. Dougg, have you gone mad? And I answer you YES! HA! HA! HA! But the reason why this poor excuse of a man got the bad end of this deal is because, Dean has become the cockiest wrestler in the ICWF! Oh, I’m the best and I got the HOP, and we’re the best stable better then all stables ever we are taking over! Well you see Dean that is exactly what bother me, you taking over, The HOP did indeed become a great force here in the ICWF, and I was threatened, yes I was, but you see I fight fire with fire and now Dean I have put your fire out!-
Miller: So that’s why!? This whole Enigma returning, an him hating BB it was all a lie! A big set up! I was fooled! Paco give some tequila!
Paco: I don’t have anymore, and I do wish I had some!
ODJ: You might still be the ICWF Champion, but you see this belt, you won’t get this belt back ever, and if you want this belt back then guess what? You are going to have to take it from , no, you are going to have to beat The Great One to get it back! HA! HA! HA! That’s right Dean, you are going to have face the Rock in our next PPV if you want this belt back, and that’s the only way if you smell what I’m cookin’ SUCKA! Now boys if you would do me the honors of stomping a mud hole in this looser!!!!!
-The begin to stomp on Dean as the Owner watches with the Heavyweight title over his shoulder…-
Miller: I can’t believe this, and where’s the rest of the H.O.P.!?!
Paco: I don’ t know but here comes one of them!
-A double screen appears, one of them shows Aggressive Angel running to the ring and the other shows the rest of The H.O.P. locked up in their locker room-
Miller: OH I see, bastards!
Paco: Hey watch your mouth!
-AA gets in the ring and tells them to please stop, The Rock grabs her and holds her, then the crowd cheer as they see Sable rush to the ring!-
Paco: It’s SABLE!
-She gets in the ring and tell the Owner to please not do anything to her, The Rock still holds her but then the Owner tells him to let her go, as soon as he does Sable kicks AA on the stomach and proceeds to give her the Sable Bomb! Once again the crowd is stunned as the laugh their rears off.-
Miller: Not Sable too!
ODJ: OH! How silly me, I forgot to mention that there was another member, The lovely and soon to be women’s champion, SABLE!!!
-crowd boos real loud and they start to throw trash to the ring…-
ODJ: thank you, again, I present you CORPORATE BLOOD! The ICWF has a new stable, and it’s not full of losers! GOODNIGHT!!!!!!
Paco: I can’t believe it!
Miller: What? CB and Mr. McDougg?
Paco: NO! they didn’t invite me to join!!!!!!
Miller: Folks we have to go, thank you for joining us here at Bad Blood, goodnight!!!!
[Back to the show]
Paco: So Mr. Dougg claims that he was afraid of H.O.P. taking over his company. He was afraid that Dean would get way too powerful. So he joins with my idol, Austin, the women I have fantasies about every other night and they form Corporate Blood! If you ask me this sucks! You know what sucks worst than this? Dean is still champion but the Owner, or rather, the Rock has the belt. Dougg said the only way he can get it back is if defeats the Rock at next month’s PPV. I already have the name of the PPV by the way and guess my gente what it’s called? Corporate Rumble! Can you believe the nerve? To add more fuel to the fire the Owner goes on and calls it this, what a load of du-du. There is some enlightenment in all of this confusion, check out the end of Bad Blood….
[the camera focuses on the ring with Corporate Blood still celebrating and beating on Dean and Angel, Mr. McDougg is sitting on the corner with the title. The camera goes to the outside where a Hummer is pulling up, crowd starts to cheer a little as they see this on the big screen, Then a figure steps out of the car, and he walks out of the dark….]
Paco: It’s ENIGMA!!!!!!!
Miller: THE REAL ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[He walks to the inside of the arena, and with that the camera fades to black…back to the show…]
Paco: Surprise, surprise huh Mr. McDougg? The real Enigma didn’t in fact show up to Bad Blood and after the show went of the air he made his way out to the ring, but when he got there, the CB had already left. Enigma bowed to get his hands on Mr. McDougg, and when he did, he was going to bury him alive! Can you believe it? Well last night, Mr. McDougg came to FNH, and so did Enigma! But we will get to that a little later. Over all folks the show was a great show, it was the highest rated ICWF PPV of all time, fans from all over the world got to experience the ICWF, and they were not disappointed. Let’s take a break and when we come back we will talk about, last night’s dark matches of Friday Night Heat!!!!
[Commercial about the return of TNF. Also, commercial about kid’s show.]
Paco: We’re back, to those of you who just joined us, good morning you lazy slugs!!! Folks let’s talk about last nights Friday Night Heat. The ICWF has been experiencing some technical difficulties and for that we apologize. FNH was not on the air last night but the event did take place so I have the scoop for you on what happened.
Paco: first let’s talk about the matches that were cancelled. As you know, LarYsa had to leave the federation do to some personal problems, so of course her match with Cleopatra didn’t take place. Another match that didn’t take place was Kylo vs Johnny Hunter. Apparently this two gifted athletes have decided to form a stable, and therefor chose not to fight last night. Now, this match did take place, it was the new-comer Arryk Rage taking on the IC Champ The Rock in a non-title match. It was Arryk’s first match, and he had the upper hand at the beginning of the match because Ruff Ryder came to out as the Rock was making his way to the ring and nailed him with a chair! Ruff Ryder threw the Rock in the ring for Arryk to finish him off early, but he couldn’t let’s take you to the end of that match….
Miller: The Rock has Arryk set for a suplex, he goes up, Arryk breaks free and drops The Rock with a neckbreaker! Arryk picks up the Rock and hook a dragon sleeper! The Rock trying to get out of it, knees to the head of Arryk! The Rock breaks free from the hold! Unbelievable, The Rock slow to get up, Arryk is up quickly, Arryk grabs the Rock, the Rock with a inside cradle!!!
Ref: One! Two! Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Paco: YES! The Rock wins again!!!!
[back to the show]
Paco: Now the Rock got the win, but got a beating at the beginning, and at the end, check this out….
-As The Rock is getting up to celebrate, Enigma comes out through the crowd and starts to put a beating on The Rock. He hooks the Rock and drops him with the Enigma Shock! Enigma stands on top of the Rock and begins to take off his mask, then when he does, he reveals a brand new mask and the fans cheer. Arryk just looks at Enigma and leaves the ring.-
[back to the show]
Paco: So as you can see a brand new Enigma, or rather, the original one, came out and layeth the smack down on the Great One, now I’m a big fan of the Rock, but he got what he deserved. Enigma grabbed the mic after beating the Rock and talked about CB and the owner and issued a challenge to them and offered Dean a truce, listen…..
Enigma: Now Mr. McDougg, I know you are in the back hiding some where but I know you can here me. So this is what I have to say, next PPV, Corporate Blood, me and you in the ring! No better yet why don’t we do this, you and the Rock team up, and I will team up with, hmmm, let’s see, I know Dean!
-fans cheer-
Enigma: Dean, I know you don’t like me, and I sure as hell don’t like you, but right now, the situation seems perfect. Me and you hate this too guys and you know it. And why don’t I add this little stipulation, Mr. McDougg! If me and Dean kick your asses, then you give Dean back his title, and we get 5 minutes alone with your sorry ass in the ring!!
-fans cheer louder!-
[back to the show]
Paco: How about that? Enigma challenge the Rock and Mr. McDougg to a tag match, against him and Dean. Will they accept? But more importantly, will Dean accept. Dean has this thing against Enigma, so only time will tell if he decides to join forces with him.
Paco: Now onto another subject, we go to Ruff Ryder. It seems that this feud with the Rock will never end for him. Once again he attacks the Rock, will the Rock retaliate? Now Ruff Ryder had a gauntlet match against the H.O.P, or what’s left of it. Well his first opponent was Reid, and he was able to pin him! However he was not able to get past the next member, Razor! So Ruff Ryder came out of that match 1-1, but after he got pinned the H.O.P. put a hell of a beating on him!!! Now here is what is interesting about this match. Razor ladies and gentlemen is taking some time off, why you ask? Well the guy is getting married! That’s right, so congrats go to him. Now another interesting thing about this match was Ruff Ryder being able to pin Reid! As most of you know, when Tuesday Night Fights returns next week, they are on the main event, for the Television Title, it should be interesting to see what happens!
Paco: Last and not least the women’s match. This was a battle that we have seen twice before but we were dying to see one last time! Well it was a helluva fight, and in the end guess who came up on top? Well let’s see!
-Sable is going for the Sable Bomb! Angel goes up, she holds on! She’s pummeling at Sable’s head, AA turns it into a pinning hurucanrana!-
Ref: One! Two! Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[back to the show]
Paco: So AA is able to defeat Sable one last time, I believe that’s 3. Well my guest at this time, is SABLE!!!
[crowd gives her a standing ovation, as she comes out wearing one of her lather outfits.]
Paco: Welcome Sable, I must say you are looking lovely. Would you like something to drink? Maybe a Sabletini!
Sable: You know me, they didn't name Sabletini's just that for nothing! Slide one over this way...
Paco: well Sable you will be the first one to experience something new I want to start doing here, I have here five different questions, some relating to wrestling, some that don’t, I want to know just how much you know, so are you ready?
Sable: Shoot honey…
Paco: ok, first. What is Adam Sandler's latest movie on video?
Sable: Big Daddy.
[buzzer…]
Paco: Oh, sorry babe, that’s his movie out on the movie theaters, the correct answer was The Waterboy! Ok, next What is the capital of Brazil?
Sable: I don't have a clue.
Paco: Ok, the correct answer is Brasilia. Sorry. Next, If Sable were to date one of the wrestlers who would she choose?
Sable: Hmm.. good way to put a Girl on the spot it would either have been the former wrestler "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn or I dunno ... Stone Cold Steve Austin isn't all that bad...
Paco: Ok, next What does Sable think of the owner?
Sable: Well, I think he is a great mastermind and should be commended for it.
Paco: Some guy Enigma is, oops, I meant Mr. McDougg. Last question, When Sable lost the title did she go home and cry?
Sable: Hell No!!!! I'm not like that I took it like a real woman, I realized my defeat and started my journey to try and get the title back. Why the hell would I go home and cry? That wasn't a smart question on your behalf Paco.....
Paco: Well, ok, nevermind but since we’re in the Women’s Title subject, what do you think of AA?
Sable: Well, I'll tell you this I believe she has gotten a little cocky about too many things.. that’s all.
Paco: Well Sable at the PPV you won the Rumble, how did that make you feel?
Sable: Well, I'll tell you one thing, it felt damn good setting Cleopatra in her place, number one she should have never messed with me, I'm a veteran and a Hall of Famer and this was her first match, I don't' understand quite what was going through her mind at the time. But nevertheless I was winner!
Paco: Well what do you think of Cleopatra?
Sable: HA! What do you think I think about Cleopatra? I'll tell you this Cleopatra, if you work on a few things you could have a bright future but you show too many flaws and that's something you must work on. I don't agree with 90%ofthe things you called me but I'm not going to let them affect me either because I could give a rat's ass less what you call me Cleopatra because I know I could step into a ring anytime of day or night and whip your ass. That's all I have to say about that!
Paco: Did you feel like you had competition during the Battle Royal?
Sable: Did it feel like Sable had competition? Well, hey I thought I had all right competition, but the competition was mainly from Cleopatra and Calypso. And I really didn't want to do much to Calypso being as she was my friend but Cleo on the other hand I had no problem with dismantling. So yes, when I think about it I guess I do feel I had some competition.
Paco: Let’s talk about completely different subject, why did you join CB?
Sable: Ah the ever popular question, Why did I join CB. Well, I'll tell you one thing I felt I needed back-up in this fed and CB offered just that some people to watch my back. That and I want to see H.O.P fall. I'm ready to see the fall of H.O.P and the rise of Corporate Blood so I hope everyone's ready for us and you guys better stay tuned because I'm sure that we still have a few more surprises up our sleeves so Watch out!
Paco: Well last night Sable, you weren’t able to beat AA, your thoughts…
Sable: none…
Paco: Are you mad?
Sable: what do you think?
Paco: Oook, uh, here is a personal question of mine, when is Sable posing for playboy again?
Sable: Leave it to you Paco, I knew I wasn't getting out of here without you asking me this question.. But yes I am posing in playboy again. It will be my second appearance in Playboy this year. I will be in the September issue which comes out August 2nd. hope all you boys enjoy!
Paco: Man on man, let me write that date down, I wish a had a look at that cover!
Sable: Well, if you want to check that out go to: http://members.aol.com/BenRyan258/playboy.jpg and you will see what Sable is up to.
Paco: Or down to, ok, well Sable thank you for coming, and thank you everyone for tuning to Paco’s Happy Hour, Morning Edition, I will see you next Thursday when things are back to normal. And remember that TNF comes back this Tuesday, So long!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------------off the air…………