Paco's Happy Hour

Paco:Alright in ICWF news, new TV champion! Scorpion defeated the veteran Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin has made it official that he will retire from the ICWF, he’s scheduled to make one last appearance tomorrow night at heat. Austin, we’ll miss you buddy and tonight, I’m drinking this bottle of Tequila in your memory! (gulp, gulp, gulp) Give Austin a hell yeah!

Crowd: HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!

Paco:Damn right, well folks in other news Ruff Ryder has made the challenge to Scorpion, that’s right Ruff Ryder says that rookie has gotten cocky and he needs to be put in his place, well, will he accept? Who knows. Ruff Ryder also says he’s tired of being held back by the ICWF, and that he has something plan for tomorrow, but what’s on my mind is what? I still don’t know but Heat is turning up to be one of the biggest events in FNH history. Speaking of FNH, the main even pins what was speculated as the biggest rematch of all times, but now, as we get close to it everyone is beginning to see it as the biggest disappointment of all time. I mean, where is JH? Where is Rock? These two guys fight in the Main Event for the World Title and yet, neither one of them have made their voices heard, this match has a big impact on the PPV and neither one of them are acting like they really care…, hmm, maybe that’s just it, they don’t care. Both of them have mention on numerous occasions that they are thinking of retiring so that could be the reason of their silence, well whatever the reason, it is affecting FNH big time, the show which is always sold out for weeks in advance has about 2,000 tickets left. To me that shows that the fans aren’t really interested in the main event just like these two wrestlers aren’t. In other news the women’s division has gone down the drain, or almost has. With the recent departure of WoW and Hott Holli, the division is down, for the first time ever to two women, which will face eachother after the PPV. The Owner better do something about this because the Women’s division is one of the biggest fan draws, the fans love these women, specially me! What else is on the news? Oh yes, folks I got two words for ya….

Crowd: SUCK IT!!!!!!!!

Paco: No, no, Damage Inc. These group of Job…err…rookies is growing and growing, their newest edition? Some job..err..rookie by the name of Creeping Death. Well to me that adds up to 7, and that makes them the biggest stable in the fed but are they the strongest? The baddest? Only time will tell that. Also what’s up with these new alliances? Kroller and Everlast? Kylo and Scorpion? Now this bites me right in the ass because these last two almost killed eachother about a week ago. The Owner must be hitting the good stuff if you know what I mean because these teams don’t make no sense. Speaking of the Owner, reports show that he has been spending the big bucks to get new GREAT talent, the owner feels threaten by the departure of SCSA and the possible departure of The Rock and J. H. The Owner has just signed some great new talent that seems very expensive but might seem to have been worth it, some of these are, Everlast, Shadow Server and Arctic. These plus some others look like they have great potential and could be future Main Eventers. Speaking of the future look for Scorpion, Kylo and even Harkore King to lead the ICWF into the new millennium. These 3 guys have stepped up their game, and look like their time is coming. The Tag Team competition is heating up! This tournament that the Owner has going for the #1 spot has brought the tag team division back to life. Fixxxer has already qualified for the next round and the next match is tomorrow and it involves the teams of X-Treme Team and The Enforcers. Now the winners of that will face a newly formed team in the form of Kylo and Scorpion, while Fixxxer would face the other new team of Everlast and Kroller. Now the winners of those two matches and the losers will face eachother respectably the same night to determine who are the 2 teams to go the PPV and challenge for the Tag Team Titles. So is something like this, let me draw it on the board for you:

1)

Fixxxer

Vs.

Everlast & Kroller

2)

Scorpion & Kylo

Vs.

Winner of X-Treme Team/Enforcers Match

Now the winner of 1) will face the winner of 2) the same night, and the winner of that will go to the PPV to face Bad Blood. Now the loser of 1) and 2) will fight eachother and the winner of that match will also go to the PPV and challenge Bad Blood, so it would be a 3 way dance for that belt. However that may not be the case if the Great One defeats Johnny Hunter, because if he does he then becomes World Champion and would have to drop the TTT. And it wouldn’t matter to him cuz he would be the World Champion! Well if that takes place, and I know it will, then the winner of the matches above would only face eachother. Well that’s all the news I got for right now, when we come back we will talk about feuds!!!!!!!!

Paco:We’re back and now your favorite subject and mind, feuds!! First we got one side Damage Inc. and on the other side the rest of the ICWF. That’s right, Damage Inc. has declared war on everyone in the ICWF and they go by a motto: “No one is safe but the Prez”, this meaning Owner Dougg, well because of this some of the ICWF superstars have formed alliances to battle this group and so far they have been able to hold them. But here is the problem, this group of Job…. Err. Rookies is getting bigger by the day, so can the ICWF handle that? Oh hell yeah. Anyway, another feud that seems to have ended is the one between Kylo and Scorpion seeing now that they are a team but I’ll tell you this much, I don’t think the Tag Team Gold will be enough to keep these two together. Well a feud that is looking to start is one between Scorpion and Ruff Ryder. Scorpion said some things that upset the former 2 time hardcore champion and former TV champion. Like we said earlier, Ruff Ryder has issued the challenge to Scorpion and he’s still waiting. Another feud that has been brewing is the one between Kroller and The Mozz, now while sometimes they join forces to battle Damage Inc. they still are at each other’s throats, tomorrow night these two meet in the first ever Coal Miner’s Match, it should be very interesting. Another person that is feuding with Mozz is Vic Vulgar, these two meet in a Vulgar rules match next week. I will say something about these rookies, they have some imagination, the first one to puke wins? AHH, anyway, speaking of Vic, he was so upset over his first lost that he has promise to get revenge, on who? Well none other then the man who gave him that lost, Harkore King, so that is an interesting feud. Well that’s all I got for today on that, let’s take a break and when we comeback we’ll have our guest, the man with the smoke, Kylo!

Paco:Welcome back, please welcome my guest at this time…………..KYLO!

[Kylo walks out wearing a tight black shirt revealing his buffness,and a pair of black jean shorts. He is sporting a new look as he now has blonde hair and wearing a pair of sunglasses. The fans cheer for him as he shakes hands with Paco as he then takes his seat.]

Paco: Welcome my man, want a beer?

Kylo:Glad to be here Paco. Of course I want a beer, I’m Kylo remember.

Paco:Of course, my bad. So let’s get started, tell us about Kylo before the ICWF.

Kylo:Kylo before ICWF? Well I lived out in Detroit, but I am actually from Vegas. I worked as a bouncer in Detroit before joining a couple of wrestling feds. I never accomplished much or got recognized in those feds and that is when I joined WWCWF.I did pretty good there. The owner of that fed told me about ICWF, and said that I may become somewhat of a star over here. So here I am today.

Paco:Alright sounds good, but you have been in the ICWF for about two months and your image is always changing, how come?

Kylo:I couldn't find the right Kylo to be. Lets see I was a Pimp, a Clown, a big bully and none of that worked for me. Each image was bits and pieces of my personality, but none of them worked for me. So I just decided that the best image is to just be myself. That is what I am doing, coming out here wrestling, having fun and being myself. So far it has seemed to work out good.

Paco:Yeah, I think this is the best you have ever been, looking back at your ICWF career, how do you feel about it?

Kylo:I have loved each and every minute of my career thus far. Who else can claim winning the HardKore belt on there second match. There is one thing that I regret though, and that is not fighting Hunter in the cell. That would have been the best match in my career win or lose. I more than likely would have lost the match and my title, but to be in the ring with one of the greats like Hunter would have made everything alright.

Paco:What title are you going after?

Kylo: Of course the Tag Titles. I also want to be the first person to hold this new title. So Dougg if your listening I have thrown my name into the hat for that match. I would like to have a shot at the HardKore title but not when Dean holds it. I agree with Scorpion in saying that I am not ready for Hunter, Rock, or Dean.

Paco: Speaking of Scorpion, you team w/ him, back stab him, want to be friends, change your mind, lose to him, now your a tag team, what is the story behind all of this.

Kylo:Well Paco, the reason I first teamed with Scorpion is that he had some talent and we both at the time hated Hell Hawk. Then it was out tag match where I had a chance to join the best group in the history of ICWF, HOP. So I took that and ran with it, even if it meant beating the s*** out of Scorpion. If you notice that when I wanted to be friends with him again, I guess you could say I was under the influence, so that answers that. I honestly hate the dick. I hope Dougg gets a good laugh at us being partners, but the laughing will stop when the future of ICWF carries that tag gold!

Paco:Speaking of the influence, are you a crack head?

Kylo:What the f*** kind of question is that! I would kick that drunk a** of yours right now.....oh and by the way no. I don't do that, I don't do drugs (snickers). Drugs are bad.(snickers)Don't do drugs!!

Paco: Ok sorry, back to H.O.P., why join them?

Kylo:That has been my dream ever since I came into ICWF. They were the best group to ever step foot here. When I saw my chance I took it and ran with it. I can now walk up to people and say that I am in HOP and I get some serious attention. Attention like that can get you through some lonely nights if you know what i mean.

Paco: Earlier you said you wouldn’t challenge for the Hardcore Title if Dean had it, why won't you fight the lights of Hunter, Dean, or Rock?

Kylo: They are to good for me right now. I don't think i could beat any of them on my best day right now. I am sure that later in my career that I will be ready to go into a match with any of the three and stand a chance. But for right now I will stick to Mid-carders and jobbers to fight.

Paco:I see, (coughs) queer (cough).

Kylo:WHAT?

Paco:I said, do you want another beer?

Kylo:Does a bear s*** in the woods and wipe his a** with a fuzzy white rabbit?

Paco:I’ll take that as a yes, here you go. Now you and Scorpion face The X-Treme Team next week, what are you thoughts?

Kylo:They suck! That it is it. We will demolish them. They are but the first stepping stone for Scorpion and I. They should be even less of a challenge, considering they have to fight The Enforcers before they get to us. I mean look you have the future of ICWF going up against future jobbers of the ICWF, wait guess nothing will change for them huh? What do you think about us and the X-Treme team?

Paco:Well, I rather not say, don’t want to get in trouble.

Kylo:You and I both know they suck, ha, ha, next question.

Paco:No that’s all I have, folks we’ll take a break and when we come back me and Kylo will discuss tomorrow night’s matches! Don’t go away.

Kylo: Hand me another beer.

Paco:we’re back and now let’s talk about FNH! Ready Kylo? Good, first we have Reid vs. Mercyful fate, Kylo?

Kylo: Reid by far. There is absolutely no way that a guy like Mercyful fate could beat a guy like the leader of HOP Reid. Further more, what kind of name is Mercyful Fate. No wonder you suck. If I couldn't come up with any name besides that I would quit and spare the humiliation!

Paco: I will have to disagree man, I think will have too much ring rust to pull a win, MF will pull out the upset! Next is Everlast vs. Thurston Howell.

Kylo: I believe that Thurston will take this one. He has some talent, and I could see him being BIG here in ICWF. By the way wasn't he on Gilligan’s Island? Any way.

Paco: I agree with your on the Gilligan thing, but not in the outcome, Everlast wants it more, I can smell it.

Kylo:No I think that’s my weed that….oops, err…. Yes, next question.

Paco:Copycat vs. Death Dawg.

Kylo: I could honestly care less about these to pansy ass jobbers! But if I had to choose I would have to pick Copycat. The reason being, he tried to be just like me Tuesday, and yes he even pinned me once.

Paco:Again ninja, I’ll have to disagree with you, I think the Dawg is going to win this one. Next is Mozz vs. Kroller

Kylo: First off, what the f*** is a "Coal Miners" match. Is the a match to see which one of these losers can mine coal the fastest. Hey you two! I know your watching, this is wrestling not the black hills of Kentucky you dumb asses!

Paco:Settle down there partner, next is The Enforcers vs. The X-Treme team

Kylo:Ha! This is no match, this is taking to cows to get slaughtered! Come on, is there anyone who actually thinks that The Enforcers can lose to a team like The X-Treme team. I don't think that The X-Treme team could beat Dean by themselves. Of course I pick The Enforcers to win.

Paco:Finally we agree! Dean and Razor will take X-Treme Team out, you just watch. Now the main event, your friend vs. my hero, Johnny Hunter vs. The Rock

Kylo:First he is not my friend, but this is a great match. if you thought that their match for the IC belt was something then take a look at all that is on stake here. Both the World title and the IC title. Now even though The Rock is probably the best wrestler to ever step foot on god's green earth, I will have to take "Hunter for the win Bob". Hunter wants it more. He has a sour taste in his mouth after loosing the Rock last time. Hey sorry bout that chair shot. This is the time of Hunter, I look for him to carry that Championship gold for a long time.

Paco:Well, being the Rock’s number one fan, I have to go with the great one! Folks there you have it, our picks, thank you Kylo for coming you are one hell of a dude, and there is something I’ve been meaning to ask you since you came in, Any stash on you? Any Mary Jane? You said you had some, so hook me up!

Kylo:I tell you what, after the show come to my dressing room and I will answer the question there, if get what I am saying (wink, wink)

[With that the credits start to roll and the fans give an standing ovation, the 6:00 o’clock news are next.]