Tom fidgeted nervously in the waiting room of the acting studio. Any minute now....

"Tom? Tom Shanks? Your turn, Mr. Shanks."
the lady at the desk said.

"Uh, Hanks, please. Thanks," Tom said as he strode over to the door.

"Excuse me, Mr. Thanks, through that door and to your left., she said pleasantly. 

Tom rolled his eyes.

He wouldn't be here for his agent being insistent that it was the 'break he'd been waiting for'.
Yet his agent had been vague as to the details of the interview.

Excpecting anything from Barney to the Care Bears, Tom knocked tenttatively on the door marked 
'Aykroyd'.
His agent answered the the door.
"Hiya Tom, hey come on in, Tom this is Mr. Aykroyd-he's in charge he loves you, man he's got the 
paper ready so go ahead and sign, okay?" his agent said in his smooth-as-silk voice. Mr. Aykroyd 
held out acontract and a pen.

"You can sing blues, right?" he questioned.

"Uh, I've never tried before", Tom said as signed the paper.

Allrighty Tom over here you get dressed, we'll", his agent pushed into a small bathroom and 
closed the door.

Inside, Tom found black pants, a white dress shirt, a plain black jacket, a black, old-fashioned 
hat, black socks, black dress shoes, a black tie, and a pair of black sunglasses.
"Well, either i'm a preacher, or I'm an undertaker," Tom said to himself as he dressed.
 
"I wonder why the sunglasses indoors? Maybe it's a mafia movie."

When he came out, his agent immediately led him down the hall to a large set made to look like a 
bar. There were rows of chairs next to shabby tables, and a stage enclosed in chicken wire.

"Chicken wire?" he asked his agent. Aykroyd overheard the remark. "He'll do," he said 
approvingly.

"Just read this script where it says 'Jake', all right?"

His agent gave him thumbs up, "go man, you're cool!"

Tom cleared his throat. Let's see, he thought, turn to bar, sit on stool. As he did so, a lady 
behind the bar questioned him on what he would like to drink, recommending a pepper steak.

"No thanks ma'am," he said respectively, "we might be-ah-sucking back a few beers a little later
 on. We'll be here all night, you see, we're the band."

The lady looked surprised, "you are!" she said excitedly, "hey Bob, here's the band!"


 Aykroyd interfered at this point, "Bob ain't here yet, so we'll go on."

Turning to the lady at the bar, he asked, "what kind of music do you usually have here?"

"Oh, we got both kinds, country and western!" she said cheerfully.

Aykroyd led the way over to the chicken wire-encased stage. "This here's the band." He motioned 
to a group of scrubby-looking guys ranging from 28 to 43.
"When they play, you dance and sing, got it?" Tom nodded. The band began to play "Gimme Some 
Lovin".

Aykroyd moved from side to side to the beat. "Dance!" he yelled. Tom began to do the twist. 

"No! This is blues!" Tom began to do the swim.

"Forget it!" We'll work on dancing later. "Sing!"

Aykroyd shoved a mike in Tom's face.

"Ah, Give me some loving, Give me some loving!! he sang smoothly.

"No! Don't sing! Make it rough!"

"Gimme some lovin" he grunted, sounding very much like a constipated groundhog.

"We'll work on that later too, I guess. Can you use a whip?"

Aykroyd handed him a coiled leather whip and pointed to a girl nearby with a cigarette in her 
mouth.

"Cut off about half of that."

Tom uncoiled the whip, "i'll practice first."

He steadied his shaking hands and gave the whip a sharp crack.

"Look OUT!", someone hollered, a camera came crashing down. Tom tried again. "Ahh! My arm!"
someone screamed, as though in great pain.

"I'm ready," Tom faced the girl with the cigarette.

Closing his eyes, he extended the whip....and brought back the girl's nose! she gave him a dirty 
look, then began to staunch the bleeding. "Uh, sorry.. " Tom began, but was interrupted by an 
irate Aykroyd. "Out!"
he bellowed, "I never want to see you again! And give me my sunglasses!" 

Tom tossed the eyewear to the ground, then ran for his life out the door, closely pursued by his 
agent.

"Nevermind," he panted, "there's another...movie..about a big...boat and an ...iceberg that 
sinks it..."

The End, by Lil' Annie