Note2:It helps a great deal if you've seen the movie Forrest Gump or have *some* Buffy knowledge.


Forrest was waiting at a bus stop in Los Angeles,California.While he waited he talked to the other passengers,telling them about his life.

"Well,after my Jenny left on her trip to heaven,little Forrest and I made just fine.The two of us did. He didn't play football very well but he sure is smart.When he got old enough,he went to college.Got himself a scholarship he did. Boy was I proud.That's why I was there that night.

In a little town called Sunnydale, California.Forrest had what they call a tenure?At the college there? Well I went to hear him talking,we Gumps are good at that,talking I mean. Anyway,I decided after his talk I would go for a walk.It had turned dark, so I sat down on a bench in the park for a short rest. I didn't like being out after dark in a strange place.The night is always the loneliest times. It wasn't long before I got some company.She was pretty,nothing like my Jenny though. She had long, dark hair and talked about a Miss Edith a lot. Between me and you I think she wasn't playing with her whole deck of cards.


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"Are you lost or homeless? I knew a homeless man once.I didn't like him, he got stuck in my teeth."

"Hello, my name is Forrest,Forrest Gump. You want a chocolate? I could just eat about a billion and half of these.My Momma always said,life is like a box of chocolates,you never know what you're gonna get."

"I don't like chocolate, my Mummy said it's the devils temptation. What will your mummy say when they find your body?"

Forrest looked the strange woman over in confusion.He didn't know much about vampires,but he was about to learn.

"Oh, my Momma died.She just got sick and went on too heaven one day.It was a Tuesday.She was a good Momma.Was your momma a good one?"

The lady started doing a strange dance,moving her hands about her face rather oddly. "Your blood,it sings to me.It says you're a traveler like my Spike and me.I'm very hungry.Miss Edith thinks you'll do nicely."

She made a lunge for him but tripped over her feet and fell to the ground.Looking down at her, Forrest noticed her shoes.

"My Momma says you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes.Where they're going,where they've been. I never would have dreamed where my shoes would take me."

He setteled in to tell his story when someone else walked up.It was a man.He was tall,and had really short,really blonde hair.

"Dru, pet? What are you doing? I thought I told you to stay in the mansion."

"My tummy got all grumbly.I wanted a bite to eat.I wsa going to eat him but he talks too much. He won't shut up."


The two looked at Forrest,who sat there eating his chocolate.The blonde man approached him. "Who are you? And why are you here,in Sunnyhell,sitting outside in the dark alone?You a decoy mate? A friend of the slayers, or just bloody stupid?"

"My Momma says, stupid is as stupid does."

"Why you wanker!"


"That's enough Spike.Move away from him before I make you fit in an ashtray." All three turned to see a blonde girl standing there,a wood stick with a sharp point at the end, in her hand.

"You look a little bit like my Jenny."

"Hi, I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer,and you are?"

"Hello,my name is Forrest,Forrest Gump."

"It's really nice to meet you Forrest, now RUN!"

At that point,the two people attacked Buffy,knocking her to the ground.Forrest was going to run, but they shouldn't hit the pretty girl.That wasn't nice at ALL. So, he jumped on the mans back, punching him over and over.He noticed something happened to his face. He had strange bumps on it and his teeth were long and sharp and his eyes were yellow. Forrest was too mad to care though.

He could hear the girl fighting the woman nearby.Then a sharp scream filled the air and Buffy came over and pulled Forrest off of Spike.

"You better run Spike or you're next.Just like your big skanky ho, you'll fit in an ashtray."

"This isn't over Slayer.I'll kill you for this."

Buffy watched as he ran off,shaking her head.
"They can never just leave,they always have to have the last word."


Turning to Forrest,she smiled."Tell me where you are staying at and I'll walk you there.It isn't safe here at night.Bad things come out at that time here."

"Is everything OK Buffy?I saw Spike running by."

A tall,dark man walked up dressed in black leather.

"Angel"



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Now I could tell these two used to be like peas and carrots;but now,they seemed so sad.They both walked back with me to my hotel room and really listened to me talk.When I spoke of Jenny,Buffy looked like she was going to cry.
The man she called Angel took her hand and kissed it,wiping a tear from her eye. They explained to me that they were in love but couldn't be together because it hurt too many people.
I may not be a smart man but I know love.These two were IN IT! The girl,BUffy, reminded me of my mom a little.She,too,had a way of explaining things so I could understand them.She made me promise to never go out at night alone and if I HAD to,I should always carry a cross. She gave me one,it was real pretty. I wear it always. She said that if I ever saw a person with a funny face like that again,that I should RUN! They dropped me off at my room,made sure I went inside, and then left. I sure was gonna miss them. And that's all I have to say about that.


Funny thing though.The next morning,when I got up, there was a wood cross nailed to the door of my room.
Well, one day,out of the blue clear sky,I got this letter from Buffy wondering if I could come over to L.A. and see her and her Angel get married.She said their friend,Willow, made it possible for them to be together until they both grew old.
I'm supposed to take bus number 6 over to Birch street then go a half block down until I come to this big fancy church at 1200 Birch.
Oh here it is now, I gotta go now it sure was nice talking to you.