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From Tim in Germany

Dear Andrew. I am 17 years old and my girl friend for 3 years in 16. My problem is that when I first touched my girlfriend intimately it hurt her. I couldn't manage intercourse at all. Now she won't try it again. I am not a virgin but my girlfriend is. After a couple of months she agreed to try again. I was as gentle as I could be, I had to stop as she was in such pain. What can I do.

 Dear Tim.
Putting so much store by the loss of virginity might have left your girlfriend feeling you were anxious and so she became anxious too.
Love-making does get better as we become more experienced. The first try often is not wonderful but if you find other ways to please one another it should be rewarding, and the time will come, when she will be ready.
From Sandra in England

Dear Andrew. My life has been turned upside down. My parents got a divorce a year ago, and since then I have been tossed from one to the other.
I feel as though I am being used, I love my parents dearly and wish they where together. when ever I am with one of them its always the same, saying your just like your mother, or your just like your father, and it is upsetting me a lot.
Can you help me, what should I do.

 Dear Sandra
It is never nice when your parents break up, especially for a child.
But sometime parents are just not compatible with each other.
As for being used, I do not think so, both your parents love you lots, and want to see as much of you as they can. Speak to your parents about how you are feeling, and tell them that they are hurting you, I feel share that as soon as they know how much they are hurting you, they will sort things out, after all they do love you.
I receive 100's of letters a week and all are replied to. some of the letters are so sad, that because of the legal aspects of the letters I am unable to publish them.
Remember anything you write is strictly confidential.