Steffi |
15:
Carrie:
Although I wanted to talk to Kevin about our “almost” kiss, Kevin appeared to be avoiding that topic at all costs. Finally, when we pulled up into the dorm driveway, I decided to speak up.
“About the ‘almost’ kiss Kevin…” I started.
“Right…” Kevin sighed.
“It’s good that we didn’t do anything. I mean, I have Gary, you have Cecil…” I rambled, unsure of what to say.
“Ok, since we’ve come this far tonight, why don’t I admit it? I really want to kiss you. Maybe its not too late…” Kevin declared, once again moving his lips dangerously close to mine. And he knew I wanted it that way. But obviously Lady Luck was not on our side, and we were interrupted again.
As Gary rushed out from the front door, he asked “Hey guys, did you have fun?”
“Yes, we did, we had a blast,” I replied as he helped me out of the car.
“I kinda wanted to talk to you, come with me,” Gary muttered, and I followed him into his room. Once I took a comfortable seat on Gary’s bed, he closed the door behind him.
“I know you would have kissed Kevin if I didn’t rush out just now. I wanna know what’s going on Carrie. Did I do something? Cuz I’ll change, baby, I really will…” Gary pleaded, dropping to his knees.
“It’s not your fault Gary. It’s true, I’ve had feelings for Kevin all along. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I do…” I whispered, trying to convince him that he was not to blame.
“Does this mean we’re breaking up? Please don’t say that Carrie,” Gary begged, taking my hands into his.
“I think so…Listen, don’t ever doubt that I love you alright? It’s just that I realize now that it’s unfair for us to go on like this...” I persisted, understanding that the deceit had gone on long enough.
For a while, Gary just stared at my hands, the wall, his desk and everything else. But he avoided eye contact with me. “If this is how you want it. You mind if I have a word with Kev? Don’t worry, I won’t start anything with him. I just want to tell him to take good care of you,” Gary sighed. With that said, Gary left me standing in the middle of his room, like an isolated, lonely island surrounded by an endless sea of blue.
Slowly, I took off the platinum ring and necklace that had been a symbol of my love for Gary for 4 months. Afterwards, I began to write Gary a letter. By the time Gary returned I had finished writing out my thoughts and I handed him both the letter and the necklace. He accepted the letter but refused to take the necklace.
“Keep it Carrie. As a reminder of our love, or whatever you want to think of it as. I mean, it’s not like I would give it to another girl. And I’m not going to wear it myself,” Gary teased, trying to hide the pain that was apparent in his eyes. I placed the necklace carefully into my purse and kissed Gary one last time before I left his room.
Gary:
Before Carrie left, I had to play the role of an insensitive, egotistical male who did not seem heartbroken. But after she left, I could no longer restrain my tidal wave of feelings from surging. One by one, the tears dropped from my eyes, until I lost count of them. I gradually opened the letter to see what she had written.
Dear Gary,
I’m sorry it had to happen this way. But don’t feel that you’re responsible for our break-up. It’s really entirely my fault. I shouldn’t have hid my feelings for Kevin in the first place, and agreed to be your girlfriend even though my heart wasn’t with you at the time. But then again, I never would have seen the other side of you. The side that the other football guys don’t get to see. The caring side, the loving side, the foolish side…all the good stuff. You see, I may have put on an act in the beginning. But in the end, our love was what kept our relationship going. There’s no way in the world I would have stayed with you for so many months if I didn’t really love you. Don’t ever doubt that. I did love you and I always will. It’s just that I realized it was unfair to both of us if I kept this up. As for Kevin, I don’t know what will become with us. There might not even be a chance of us getting together. But whatever happens just know that I will never regret spending these 4 months with you. I hope we can still be friends.
Love,
Carrie
Once I had finished reading the letter, the paper was drenched with my tears. I folded it carefully and turned on the radio. In a weird twist of fate, the song that Carrie and I had chosen to represent our love, “I Will Always Love You,” by Whitney Houston, was playing. As I listened to the song, I felt as if I cried enough tears in those 4 minutes to overfill the banks of the world’s oceans.
BACK
|
Steffi |
