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Steffi

RANDOM 2000 PLAYOFF THOUGHTS

Why is the Vancouver Canucks organization the only one on the face of the Northern Hemisphere that does not even give a whole-hearted attempt at winning hockey games? Is it because of Mark Messier, the almost senior, ready to receive his $5 billion pension in 2 days, racking up $2 million per season in injuries captain? Or is it just a coincidence that since Captain Mess took over that the Canucks are a mess? Whatever the reason is, I sincerely hope the Canucks can do something constructive next year. Suggestions? Perhaps win a game or two or at least make an honest effort…
The Oilers may have lost to the Stars in 5 games, but the Oil’s still slick because Edmonton is my home town.
(hahahaha…) Rocket Bure, who undeservingly shares Rocket Richard’s nickname, only scored 1 goal in the series vs. New Jersey. (nenernenernener…)
I cannot believe that Detroit lost in 4 straight to Colorado. Yet, seeing that the situation has already occurred, Sergei Federov and Brendan Shanahan, search for me in the Vancouver telephone book. wink, flashes a sexy smile (puckbunny in full force…)
Surprisingly, the Toronto Maple Leafs only managed 6 shots on goal (aka SOGs) in Game 6 vs. Jersey. 3 in the first period, 2 in the second and 1 in the third. Maybe they were going for a triple, double, single…
(Bobby. Bobby Boucher. And I am The Waterboy …) Brian Boucher had quite an amazing run in the playoffs, taking the Flyers to the conference finals.
Brett Hull, an amazing wrist shot. Brett Hull, born in Canada. Brett Hull, plays for the US National Team. Brett Hull, a traitor to Canada. Naturally, some of you might want to offer justifications for Brett’s actions. “Canada had first choice; they let the US have him…” Although that may be true, many Canadian hockey players in the NHL are over-looked for international competitions; more than 50% of the league is Canadian! However, most of the US National Team consists of players born in the US. Other distinguished players did not feel it was necessary to jump onto the American ship, just because they too were over-looked…
In my opinion, Eric Lindros is an awesome player. Even though he has been sidelined since March because of a Grade 2 concussion, he scored a goal his first game back in Game 6 of the Flyers-NJ series. It would have been 2 if time did not run out in the 2nd period. But the media had to bash him and ask Craig Ramsey if it “was the right thing to do” to put Big E back in the lineup so early. With the way he played, I think the media should concentrate more on Flyers who are not performing, like Langkow and Primeau.
Scott Stevens is a bully, albeit an adorable one! He utterly leveled Eric Lindros. I hope Big E recovers from the latest concussion he sustained in Game 7 vs. NJ.
Has St. Patty been spending one too many late nights out at the Irish pub? With 16 SOGs and 4 goals (save ratio of 75%), the team will not make to the Cup finals even if “Everybody Loves Raymond.”
Eddie Belfart: “I think I can play just as well, if not better than Patrick Roy.” Who asked for your opinion?
(muhahaha...) Eddie Belfart let in 6 goals in Game 1 of the Cup finals. There were only 18 SOGs. For those of you are mathematically challenged, 1 in every 3 shots (or 33.3 %) went in the net. Yet, Belfart is not to blame! He has a perfectly legitimate reason for his poor performance. Apparently, he consumed cough syrup before the game, which caused drowsiness. He claims that there were UFOs, in the form of black disks, flying in his direction all night; he was merely trying to protect himself and get out of their path! The next morning, he woke up with Brett Hull beside him in the Motel 6 bed. In case you would like to know, I just committed premeditated murder because I consumed cough syrup 10 minutes beforehand, and I was feeling drowsy. Mr. Policeman, Sir, I am not lying! If Eddie can use it as an excuse (along with a billion dollar bribe), I can too! Note to Eddie: Next time, check the label on the side of the bottle: will cause drowsiness...
Jason Arnott scored the Stanley Cup winning goal! Watching a team-mate pour champagne over a topless Arnie was my Stanley Cup celebration…(just wishful thinking, don't kill me…)

RANDOM 2001 PLAYOFF THOUGHTS

After an extensive absence, playoff hockey has finally returned to Vancouver! However, with the absence of Captain Snazzy Nazzy, even Vancouver faithful (like me…) seriously doubt the likelihood of the Canucks upsetting the favoured Colorado Avalanche.
Eddie Belfart should be chained to the net...Unfortunately, the Oilers could not capitalize to win the game after scoring 2 miraculous, late goals to force overtime.
The Ottawa Senators must be cursed; how else can you explain the second seeded Senators being eliminated by the seventh seeded Toronto Maple Leafs in 4 straight games?
The Canucks have been eliminated in 4 straight, but it was a good experience for a young team. They have potential to go further next season, when their MVP Snazzy Nazzy returns. Bonus: I got to see Peter Shaeffer dye his hair bleach blond.
Edmonton folk have a reason for hope; although the Oilers were eliminated in 6 games, the team put forth a valiant effort and I cannot wait to see what heights they can reach next year.
In all honesty, I think this year is the last opportunity for the Dallas Stars to win another cup. Even though they disposed of the Oilers, they did not do so in an overwhelmingly convincing fashion, leading me to believe that they are beginning their demise already.
It took 2 extra games, but NJ finally eliminated the nuisance known as the Carolina Hurricanes. Scottie Stevens leveled Ron Francis during the series and seems to be in form to be a terminator this playoff run.
The LA Kings upset the Detroit Wings, but I do not like LA because goalie Felix Potvin has only performed well after being traded to LA from Vancouver. It must be something in the water, since all future all star goalies must seemingly go through the Canucks organization (with might I add, dismal performances…) before they attain greatness. Felix Potvin, Sean Burke, the list goes on and on...
NJ Devils vs. the Toronto Maple Leafs in the second round. Yet again. I hope this series is not a nightmare replay from last year for Toronto. I love Arnie, but I do not want his team to win a lopsided victory against the only Canadian team left in the playoffs.
The Stars lose to the St. Louis Blues in 4. And the demise continues...
The LA Kings have become routine giant killers, by winning the first game of the series versus Colorado.
Could both seven seeds in the East and West actually upset their respective second seed rivals? LA and Toronto are poised to do this, since both series have been forced to Game 7.
The fairy tale was not to be for LA and Toronto, both being eliminated in sudden death Game 7. However, the quest continues for Ray Bourque. The conference finals are now set: St. Louis vs. Colorado and NJ vs. Pittsburgh. My guess in St. Louis in 6 and NJ in 5.
What exactly has happened to the A-Line and Scottie Stevens? Although the Devils are leading their series 3-1, I feel like those two components have not been almost non-existent...
Forsberg is out from the Playoffs because of his spleen surgery, so I am quite surprised that the Avalanche have been able to almost manhandle the Blues without the assistance of one of their best players.
The dream series is set: NJ vs. Colorado.
My dream has come true: I get to see Jason Arnott sweat (and hopefully undress too...) for at least 4 more games (puckbunny radar is spinning like crazy tonight…).
Game 1: I am ashamed to be a Devils fan. 5-0, need I explain why?
Game 2: Hardly an overwhelming Devils victory, but a victory nonetheless.
Game 3: I am ashamed to be a Devils fan. I can feel myself slowly being drawn to the Bourque camp...
Game 4: The Devils finally have a respectable output tonight. However, Jason Arnott was hit in the side of head near the temple, and he played on only a few shifts afterwards. He was taken to the hospital for X-rays (let me play nurse...)
Game 5: Another strong Devils showing. This team is finally looking like it can be back-to-back champions.
Game 6: I spoke to soon. I am again ashamed to be a Devils fan.
Game 7: I am proud to be a Ray Bourque fan. A fairy-tale ending to a hall of fame career (at least I assume that he would retire after finally climbing the mountain, but I could be wrong…).

RANDOM 2002 PLAYOFF THOUGHTS

Yet again, the Vancouver Canucks have made the playoffs! Although everyone (me included…) had counted them out in December, the Canucks suddenly transformed into a relentless force; they had the best “since December” record in the NHL. Markus Naslund and Todd Bertuzzi even finished two-three in the scoring race. Only Jarome Iginla, the Rocket Richard (most goals scored) and Art Ross (most points) winner, had more points.
The Canucks making the playoffs came at the expense of the Edmonton Oilers. What has happened to them? This is the first time in recent history that they have failed to make the playoffs. On a positive note, Dallas failed to make the playoffs as well.
Miraculously, all three of the eastern Canadian teams have made the play-offs. Montreal is the Cinderalla story; riding the success of net-minder Jose Theodore and the emotional return of Captain Saku Koivu, the Canadiens have their first playoff birth in years.
Perhaps the Detroit stars were rested too long down the stretch drive. For some inexplicable reason, Vancouver is leading 2-0 in the series.
Naturally, two straight loses have woken up the giants. Detroit has managed to tie the series.
What has happened to Dan Cloutier? He had been out-playing his counter-part Dominik Hasek for the first two games. Now, he and a 2 game lead have evaporated into thin air. The Wings have even taken the series lead, 3-2, and have an opportunity to finish the series off in Vancouver.
Fortunately, I was able to attend Game 6 vs. the Wings at GM Place. It was my first live hockey game. Although I was supposed to be cheering for my Canucks (which I was…), for some unfathomable reason, I was also simultaneously rooting for the Red Wings. The unfathomable reason, also known as Brendan Shanahan. If I were not so conservative in public, I would have shrieked his name like a foolish teenybopper. Yet, I am conservative in public. After the Red Wings win, I would have staked out at the visitor’s locker-room, waiting for Brendan Shanahan (to get an autograph). Of course, I am conservative in public; besides, how could I approach him in my t-shirt, jeans and Nike runners? Would he not be expecting some bejewelled puckbunny wearing a skirt, a thong and stiletto heels? How could a commoner, a mere fan of the game (and sometimes the players…) ever expect to capture his attention (LOL…)?
Jose! Jose! The young net-minder almost single-handedly upset the top-seeded Boston Bruins.
Expensive free agents make cup contenders. Or do they? Will the real Adam Oates, please stand up? Second seed Philadelphia was upset by the seventh seed Ottawa.
Is it my imagination, or did New Jersey seem almost content when they lost to the Carolina Hurricanes?
Is Doug Weight really worth $9 million? In my opinion, there are better players for a cheaper (whatever that means…) price-tag. For example, every player on the Detroit Red Wings (top grosser Nicklas Lidstrom: $8.5 million), every single player on the New Jersey Devils (top grosser Martin Brodeur: $4.7 million), every single player on the Toronto Maple Leafs (top grosser Mats Sundin: $7.5 million)…even every single player on the New York Rangers (top grosser Brian Leetch: $8.7 million). Statistics are compliments of (or stolen from…) faceoff.com.
Although the Toronto Maple Leafs are always the last Canadian team standing, and I love my Canadian teams, I somehow find their style of hockey uninteresting.
Can you expect Jose Theodore to be a one man team? Sometimes I wonder how he has kept his sanity; it seems like he is facing 30+ shots on goal a night. He can now work on his wonderful Rico-suave tan, compliments of a second-round oust at the hands of the Carolina Hurricanes.
Colorado vs. Detroit in the Conference Finals. Otherwise known as the real Stanley Cup Finals. Ever since the 1998 Olympics, I have been waiting for a Roy and Hasek re-match. Yet, I hope for Hasek to be the victor, because if he is a victor, Shanny is a victor as well (slap me now, he isn’t even that good-looking…).
Is Dominik Hasek purposely handing over his Stanley Cup on a silver platter?
Of course not, because Patrick Roy is! Patrick, ever the conceited little (you fill in the blank!) demonstrated his “Miss Statue of Liberty” tonight. Of course, it resulted in a Shanahan goal…
Naturally, Patrick Roy always has to conclude his playoffs with an exclamation! A new exit, something outlandish. Patrick to self: “I always stop zee puck. How aboot letting zee puck in zee net for a change?” You sure surprised me! A 7-0 spanking.
In my opinion, the Detroit Red Wings vs. the Carolina Hurricanes is somewhat anti-climatic after the Detroit vs. Colorado series (sans Game 7). I predict a 4-1 victory for the Wings.
(snooze…snooze…snooze…wha??…the Stanley Cup’s been won already…) In possibly the most lethally monotonous Cup Finals ever known to man, the Detroit Red Wings were victorious. And let the celebratory baby-making begin…

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