WHODAMAN DICTIONARY

What separates a whodaman hockey player from the rest of the NHL commoners? Obviously, goals/assists per season etc. are reasonable indicators. Yet, who really has time to scrutinize hockey records to see who has scored the most goals etc. in each season? Therefore, the NHL announcers have developed a strategy to inform the public; announcers conceive some smart and savvy nicknames for the whodamen and refer to the players with these nicknames during a broadcast. Some nicknames mentioned will cause you to inwardly cringe; remember, they are for informative purposes only, not for causing embarrassment to players in any way, shape or form (hehehe…not all player nicknames suck, but I needed a captivating opening…):

1. ARNIE: JASON ARNOTT (Dallas Stars)
   Other names considered: “JA Rule” (courtesy of me)
   
   
2. BIG E: ERIC LINDROS (New York Rangers...He is “big.” And his name begins with an “E.” And amazingly, these two qualities coincide in the same person …)
   Other names considered: “Concussion Boy” (courtesy of me), “Pete Sampras” (courtesy of my little brother)
   
   
3. CUJO: CURTIS JOSEPH (Toronto Maple Leafs)
   Other names considered: “Please don’t leave TO” (courtesy of me)
   
   
4. DOMINATOR (pronounced DAW man ATER in a cheesy Russian accent): DOMANIK HASEK (Detroit Red Wings)
   Other names considered: “Diver” (courtesy of me), “Unorthodox Style” (courtesy of my father), “String Bean” (courtesy of my little brother)
   
   
5. HULLIE: BRETT HULL (Detroit Red Wings)
   Other names considered: "Boo Radley" (courtesy of Elle from Montreal)
   
   
6. JR: JEREMY ROENICK (Philadelphia Flyers)
   Other names considered: "Jack-o-Lantern" (courtesy of Elle from Montreal)
   
   
7. NAZZY: MARKUS NASLUND (Vancouver Canucks)
   Other names considered: “Snazzy Nazzy” (courtesy of me), “What A Lovoly Man” (courtesy of my immigrant mother)
   
   
8. PRONGS: CHRIS PRONGER (St. Louis Blues)
   Other names considered: "Big Hands Small Feet" (courtesy of Elle from Montreal)
   
   
9. RUSSIAN ROCKET: PAVEL BURE (Florida Panthers)
   Other names considered: “Steffi8888 Hates Me” (courtesy of me), “Powell Buvay” (courtesy of my immigrant mother), “Anna’s Boy Toy” (courtesy of Mike)
   
   
10. SHANNY: BRENDAN SHANAHAN (Detroit Red Wings)
    Other names considered: “Janney” (courtesy of me: ouch, keep in mind, he is my favourite right now…), “BS” (courtesy of me)
    
    
11. SNIPER: TEEMU SELANNE (San Jose Sharks)
    Other names considered: “Finnish Rocket” (courtesy of me), “Selammi Man” (courtesy of my little brother), “Finnish Rocket Selammi Man” (courtesy of creative collaboration)
    
    
12. ST. PATRICK: PATRICK ROY (Colorado Avalanche)
    Other names considered: “Wife-Beater” (courtesy of me: “Oh yeah, I'm way out of line!” as Jay Leno says.), “The Tick” (courtesy of my little brother), “Alien” (courtesy of somebody on a message board)

Has your ingenious intellect thought of another nickname for the “Other names considered” section? Leave them in my guest-book.

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