Steffi |
2000 PARTY
Before You Proceed: If you have a low tolerance level, heed my forewarning. My sense of humour often knows no boundaries; it can be downright hilarious (maybe wishful thinking…), embarrassingly pathetic, repulsively insensitive, or all of the above. >>>>>
1: THE PHONE CALL
Justin: Yo JC dawg yo, whats we planning to do this Millennium? You tink the Backstreet Boys would let us go tos their cool Millennium party? Yo, do you think they would JC dawg?
JC: No, I called their publicist. They said the guys are gonna spend their time individually with their families. Aw schucks, now we’ll never get to party. You know, if even the BSB don’t pity our pathetic existence, who will?
Chris: Aw will JC. You knows haw much I wuv you guys. (author's note: I’m still convinced that Chris wears braces...it’s just that he’s so ugly, and we’re concentrated on looking the uglies, that we don’t notice nicer things like his wire framed buck tooth filled mouth...no offense to those who have braces... at least you guys aren’t 50 years old pretending to be in a teenybopper band...)
Joey: If the Backstreet Boys are staying home with their families, so am I. Whatever the Boys do, I do too ! Wait a second, my family abandoned me when they learned that I had joined NStink. My parents were sent into exile after the government found out they were the reason for 1/5 of NStink’s existence. Oh well, will you guys be my family?
Lance: Oh yipee. I got a call from the Disney guy! He wants us to be in the Disney parade. He promised me a life supply of Oil of Olay, so of course I agreed. Yay, we actually have something to do this Millennium!
Joey, JC, Justin, Chris: If the Backstreet Boys aren’t doing it, neither are we.
Justin: WHATEVERs da BACKSTREET BOYS DO, WEs gottA COPY dEM. BUT WEs ALWAYS gotta DENY COPYING dEM BECoz WE WANT PEOPLE TO THINK THAT WE’RE nsync cool yo. If the BSB aren’t going to be at Disney, you’ll be NSync minus the N, S, y, and c. Yous be called ‘n.’
Lance: ‘n’ what {gives Justin a wink}
Justin: Hum, let’s see. How’s bout you be ‘n’ synch g dawg. Hehe man, get it guys, he’ll be ‘n’ what. He’ll be ‘n’ synch!
Lance, Joey, Chris, JC: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Those jokes about being ‘n’ sync never get old man!
Lance: Come on guys whaddya say? Let’s not copy the BSB for once in our existence. It’ll be a first. Maybe we’ll be on the news.
Joey, Chris, JC, Justin: Ok Lancey pooh whatever you say. Just promise us a group (hehe, you fill in the blank) afterwards…
Justin: Aw, you know you don’t even have to ask…
2: DISNEY MILLENNIUM PARADE
Announcer1: Thank you 98 Degrees. That was a superb performance. Up next, we have those singing brothers, Hanson!
Announcer2: {aside}
Um…It seems that Hanson couldn’t make it. They’re going through puberty or something. They haven’t been performing since they released that Middle of Nowhere CD…It seems that we got some last minute replacements. It is a band named NSync.
Announcer1: Alright. It seems that there has been a slight mix-up. Instead of Hanson, NSync will be filling in on their spot. So give it up for um…NSync.
{2 people clap and faint}
Joey: {aside}
Hey kid, did you get all your friends?
Kid1: Yes I did Mr. Fat One.
Joey: How many times do I have to tell you, it is Fatone not fat one…
Kid2: But you are fat Mr. Fat One…
Joey: Okay fine, call me what you will. Did you do what I told you to do? Remember what you and your 4 little friends are supposed to be doing tonight?
Kid1: Yes Mr. Fat One. I listened to that CD full of whining abinal (author’s note: too much rugrats…) sounds. And I mem..memorized the words. And me and my friends are supposed to sing the words when you tell me to. And afterwards my and my friends all get barbie dolls.
Joey: And your older sisters get…
{licks his lips}
Ok, get your girlfriends in a line. Here, you each get to hold a microphone. On the count of 3, you begin to sing alright.
Kid1: Alright Mr. Fat One.
Joey: Ready, one, two, three.
{Nsync really did perform “God Must Have…” I hate typing that stupid name out! Anyhow, they did sing that song at the parade}
Justin: {in a suspiciously girlish, whining voice}
Hey, wuz up wuz up! Stay NSync…Are we all havin da bomb Christmas time! Alright. Now, me and my boyz gonna be lip, I mean, singin “God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You,” even though it’s Christmas time, and dat song gots nothing to do with Christmas.
{music begins to play and all five guys stand and sway}
Justin: Can this be true tell me can this be real
How can I put into words what I feel
My life was complete, I thought I was whole
Why do I feel like I’m losing control
Never thought that love could feel like this
And you changed my world with just one kiss
How can it be that right here with me, there’s an angel
It’s a miracle
All: {swaying like palm trees, cause they think it looks oh so cool}
Your love is like a river, peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret that never could keep
When I look into your eyes I know that its true
God must have spent a little more time on you
Lance: {aside}
Crap guys, this is the part where our choreographer walked out on us. She said something like "useless animals” and “couldn’t even dance if their lives depended on it” and “I think I’d have better luck training mentally retarded dogs that are blind and can’t hear.” So what do we do now?
JC: Man, we improvise. Oh remember during that Disney special with the Backstreet Boys? Remember how they do that side to side foot movement during “Quit Playing Games?” Let’s just, um… do that. I’m sure the crowd won’t notice…
Justin: Rights, lets dos it.
JC: In all of creation all things great and small
You are the one that surpasses them all
More precious than any diamond or pearl
They broke the mold when you came in this world
And I’m trying hard to figure out
Just how I ever did without
The warmth of your smile
The heart of a child, that’s deep inside, keeps me purified…
Kid1: Mr. Fat One are we done yet? I can’t stand this song…{music stops}
Joey: Um… That’s it for “God Must Have Spent…” Hehehehehe… Aren’t um…JC’s impressions of a 5 year old girl’s voice good. They are soo good (author’s note: I’m not sure that they are impressions…).
JC: Right. Now, um…over to the Epcot Centre. Come on guys let’s go now…
3: EPCOT CENTER
Announcer1: Well, it’s time to join NSync at the Epcot Center for the Millennium celebration.
Justin: Hello, my name is Justin Timberlake. Here we are at, wow, the China town performance. Look, the Chinese dragon is coming. The Chinese dragon is a symbol of luck in the New Year. Isn’t it cool? Yeah.
Cameraman: Idiot! Don’t read out those lines like you’re memorizing a damn textbook!
Justin: Shut up homeboy!
{lunges at the cameraman and the tape is still rolling}
Chris: Here we are in the actual Epcot Center. Isn’t it cool. You can learn so many things at Epcot about the world! So many more things than I learned in Grade 1 Social Studies before I dropped out and got rejected from the Mickey Mouse Club in the same year. But the moral of this story is, you don’t have to finish Grade 1 to be successful. Look at me.
{smiles at the camera with his wire framed grin}
Cameraman: Idiot. That’s not in the script. You just admitted that you didn’t finish Grade 1 to the entire nation! As if they didn’t think you were stupid enough already!
Chris: {lunges at the cameraman}
I’m not stupid dammit! I just have some “severe emotional and cognitive disabilities resulting from intense cerebral damage at an early age” according to my psychiatrist and doctor. It’s not my fault. My father always bounced me on his knee and the ceiling was low! That doesn’t mean I’m stupid!
Lance: {almost crying}
The fireworks are about to begin.
{thinking to himself ALOUD}
I’m ruined, I’m just ruined. Why did I join this band again? Justin just assaulted a cameraman, Chris also assaulted a cameraman. I’m wet and clammy and my mascara is running and I look horrible! Could the day be any worse? I knew I should have gotten that job at the preschool scraping poop off the toilet seats.
JC: Well that’s the end of the Millennium Celebration Disney Parade! I hope you have enjoyed watching 5 year old girls sing instead of us, Justin screw up his lines and assault a cameraman, Chris admit that he’s a stupid fruggie on national television and assault a cameraman, Lance think aloud to the crowd about what job he should have taken and me…
{looks down at his pants}
go through an entire television broadcast with my fly undone. Happy Millennium!
FANFICTION.NET REVIEWS
Even though most of these are negative, I am an honest person and will still post them. Besides, you cannot possibly please everyone.
- KaYLa 2002-08-21:
I have never wrote a flame, and I'm not going to. And might I tell you, I like fics that make fun of them, but this was down right stupid. It was just---you know what? Let's just leave it at that.
- klucky 2002-08-20:
bwa ha ha, yes, i admit it was stupid. bt\ut it was sa funny stupid. i wish ppl would write more hate fics. they are such a fun thing. and they break the tide of, "oh whoever i love u!" "i love u to rabid fan girl/boys" (hey, i'm open minded.) funny. dont let the fans get ya down.
- Dreamer 2002-08-19:
I just had to read the first line to know this was going to be stupid as hell. Who the hell talks like that??? This is the N Sync section, don't post your stupid hate stories here, obivouly there are going to be TONS of fans here. Instead about writing about a group you hate why don't you write about a group you like. Wouldn't that be smart??? Makes much sense to me.
Copyright 2000
BACK
|
Steffi |
