Steffi |
A DATE
Imagine yourself going out on a date with 5 total losers. Then imagine yourself going out on a date with the 5 total losers known as ‘N Sync…
According to a YM article, a lucky teenybopper won a date with them. [A/N: and for all you teenies reading right now, No! I do not know how you win a date with them so Go Away!] The bopper, who will be referred to as Jane to protect her identity, actually agreed to be seen in public with the Fagsome Five. As she described her outing, the same thought went through my head like a NStink CD on repeat play. "This was definitely the date from hell..."
All members of the Fagsome Five, Jane and her mom decided grace a swank buffet restaurant with their presence. Why was a buffet restaurant chosen? One word-Joey. How much does food cost in a regular restaurant? How much food would Joey eat in a regular restaurant? Math wizards out there, do the number crunching…
Firstly, Jane gave a thorough description of Justin’s quirks. Since there are so many, Justin proudly has an ordered list all to himself:
- After Jane returned from the buffet line up, she realized that she forgot to get a Coke. She casually mentioned it to her mother. Nosy ebonic homeboy overheard so he mumbled, "I'll get one for you." Perhaps it is just me, but mumbling seems so sincere, does it not?
- Later in the date, he got a whole plate of chocolate covered strawberries. He decided to give Jane one of them. Justin, may I have one as well? Seeing that you are so generous and all, you probably would not mind sparing another strawberry. All hail the modern Mother Teresa! With the way he is going, Jane should be happy he did not bite half of it, then give her the green leafy portion. [A/N: btw, not supposed to be edible]
- When a pregnant woman walked by them, Chris remarked “There goes the Buddha.” But Justin could not let Chris have all the fun. He had to add his two cents worth. “Hey guys I think she’s smuggling in some basket balls.” Justin, just what type of thoughts are floating through your insignificant little mind? Pretending to be pregnant so I can smuggle some basket balls into a buffet restaurant, there is an activity I engage in all the time…
Although Justin and most of the other members lack politeness and basically do not know how to act in public, there was one guy who did not act like a complete idiotic monkey with his head cut off. According to Jane, JC was quite the gentleman! Although I never thought that the words normal and NStinker could occur in the same sentence, JC seems to have proved me wrong.
Does the word "gay" mean anything to Lance? Lance was flirting with Jane’s mother . Perhaps the feeling of utter loneliness in his heart was not being filled by Justin [A/N: leave this one to your imagination] , but nevertheless, is he that desperate? I can almost imagine what his pick up lines sounded like. “So Mrs. Jane’s Mom, I use hemorrhoid cream to keep my skin soft and touchable. Oh, you use Oil of Olay, I’ve been meaning to cry that one out…”
Chris’s pathetic attempt at being funny was undoubtedly annoying everyone around him. He saw some pregnant woman and said "There goes the Buddha." Could he be any cornier? Firstly, that is an insult to the religion of Buddhism. Secondly, that is an insult to that pregnant woman. Chris your hilarious sense of humor is just too much for my brain to handle! [A/N: in case you did not notice Chris, people are always laughing at you, not with you]
Last but not least, Joey’s table manners resemble those of my 2 month old cousin. He ate everything in sight, all the creampuffs etc. But he deserves a break. He is a growing boy, he needs his food. [A/N: sure Joey, keep telling yourself that]
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Steffi |
