Steffi

BEAUTY FILES

How does Lance maintain his toned feminine skin? And how does Joey care for his tight man boobs? All of the beauty tips used are actual ones that supposedly work according to The View and various magazines. [A/N: except the portion about Justin's hair]

LANCE'S TONED SKIN

“Hey, my name is Lancecine, and I'm from Mississippi!! My fan [A/N: singular form intended] was wondering how I got my defined, toned skin. I find that putting hemorrhoid cream on the trouble spots really helps!! [A/N: can you all imagine him doing that] Now you can have Lancecine toned skin by using stuff for your ‘private areas.’ Tee hee, ‘private areas!’” [A/N: just think of him on "Loveline"; did not waste time watching, but heard he was trying to laugh everything off as a joke]

JOEY'S MAN BOOBS

“Tight man boobs are hard to care for!! But I've found a way. Simply smush 4 rotten bananas, and put them into your bra. Keep them in there for 24 minutes, it feels real nice!! And in no time, you'll have tight man boobs that no girl can resist!”

JUSTIN'S NOODLE HAIR

“Yo g dawg! How's me honeyz doing? Now I get asked lot y'all, how do I keep mah hair noodly fresh? Here's the secret yo!! My hair ain't real, it really is made of noodles! Just buy some o dose raw cup noodles, which are da bomb. Set dem on yo head, and pour some real real hot water on it!! The noodles will stay in place. But after da hot wata seeps in yo brain, you be feeling real dumb and saying dumb tings. I think I'm still feeling da after effect of da last time I put noodles on mah head. Stay NStink!”

CHRIS'S DANDRUFF

“I don't take a shower every day you know!! Only about once a month! But once a month is enough to get rid of dandruff for me! Just put 20 asprins in a bowl and add some cheap shampoo from Wal mart. Scrub the solution onto your head. But remember, only once a month!”

JC'S ZITS

“I'm JC, the one who sings alot!! People are wondering, how does JC keep his face blemish free? Using powder, a concealer stick, press on foundation, liquid foundation, blush... the list goes on and on. But to get the redness out of my zits, I use eye drops. They get the red out of the eye and the zit. Hehe... I made a funnie!”

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