Steffi

ON THE BIG SCREEN

The NStinkers strike again! Invading our radios and televisions with their whiny voices and revolting faces is obviously not enough. They are hitting the big screen for their first feature film debut. According to the Canadian Hot 20 media source, they will be filming an IMAX Adventure dubbed Bigger Than Life.

Bigger than life. Where have I heard that before? The name sounds strangely familiar…I am digging deep within the crevasses of my memory… I know where I have heard the name! Does the name not bear a striking resemblance to a song title of the Backstreet Boys, "Larger Than Life?" But of course, it must be purely coincidental! I mean, those NStink boys always claim to be originators, not copiers.

And originators they are! Bigger Than Life promises to be the first full action-porno-flick aimed at 10 year old girls. See what JC and Justin like to do with each other during their spare time, and how to decode their secret constipated look love messages while singing on stage. Be amazed as Chris plays with [A/N: pun intended] his old dread locks and ties them in places they do not belong. Lance tells us entertaining stories of times he has used his own picture as a contraceptive. And Joey tells us what it is like to have a threesome-with McDonalds and Carls Jr.

So this summer, if you are looking for monster action [A/N: and I mean serious action] in the bed, in the tourbus, on Bitchney Queers and on stage, this movie is sure to give you a kick in the ass. [A/N: not necessarily by a foot, but by a foot-long] Skip over Eyes Wide Shut. Just go see Bigger Than Life. Note: Things may look Bigger Than Life on screen but everything in the movie has been blown up a million times vs. the original size.

After that paid presentation from the NStink corporation, here is what critics had to say about NStink’s first feature film:

Ivana Humpalot: It’s the feel good movie that Micheal Jackson would enjoy.

Hopeufind Happiness: To all of the ‘N Syncers, hope Oscars are in your future (PS. Hopeufind Happiness) For those of you who do not get it try this: Hope-u-find Ha-ppiness. Better?

Steffi8888: Everyone in the movie sucked…

Bitchney Queers: Everyone in the movie sucked on my silicone! Like, good yah!

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Steffi